Organize

Organize yourself!

It makes sense- just do it.  Make the time. It will pay back in dividends.  Proof here: 

Giving

I'm impressed by the volume of love that people feel toward the victims of certain tragedies   For instance, those that face Natural Disasters.  And here, in Newtown, CT.  There is a whole warehouse full of teddy bears people have sent to offer solace.  Because no one can really think of anything else they can do to make it better.  Because they can't.

I posit it would be better to give, or pray, or help in your own community to honor those victims, instead of sending a teddy bear to a child that can't hold it any longer, or to parents that would rather not have the reminder that their baby won't ever be coming back.

Give local.  Give daily.  Give without needing anything in return.

Put a spin on it

"Christians famously have the problem of pain: how can a benevolent and omnipotent god permit evil to exist? But atheists like myself have our own paradox to contend with: the problem of joy. Why do randomly good things happen?"

The question of "why bad things happen to good people", and how it is even possible that God would let his loved ones feel pain and suffering is an ongoing struggle.  It takes pain and the experience of getting beyond that pain to truly understand why.  

In reading this article by an Atheist  I found the above quote truly interesting.  Atheists, who don't have God or a Devil to blame for bad things, also have no one to attribute joy too.  I 've never thought of that.  

Dreams come true

As one commentator wrote on facebook (where I found this), "This thrills my soul." Friend, it thrills mine as well. It makes my heart leap for joy for this boy to experience such acceptance and praise, despite his Autism which keeps him distanced from what is considered "normal" of other kids his age.

Good job, Buddy!  Wish I would have been there to cheer  you on.  You keep giving me goosebumps.  Here's an update on this special hero who just finished qualifying for the Boston Marathon.

Happy Holidays?

My dad is such a cynic.  Most nice things someone does- he looks at with a weary eye.  Total skeptic.  Which is probably why it's in my nature to follow suit.  I struggle against that impulse.  In particular, when I read this post about an Islamic Center sending a holiday card to a local Christian Orthodox church.  Why would they do that?  He would look at the below and think it was some sort of scam.

Maybe these folks sent it for the same reason that I send "holiday" cards, although I celebrate Christmas.  Maybe its because I truly don't want to offend my Jewish, Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist, Agnostic and Atheist friends.  They all know I'm Christian, but I would never impose my beliefs on them.  Never.  Maybe it's because our Islamic neighbors were trying to be kind.  That's what I'm banking on.

Merry Christmas.  Happy (belated) Hanukkah. Happy Holidays.

How to be a happy couple?

Since N doesn't read my blog, he probably won't see this one.  I did send it to him with a direct request to review via email.  I'll be interested to see if he actually reads it.  If he does, I'd be happy given how much sense this seems to ma

Original article here: 

1. SEEK TO GIVE MORE THAN YOU SEEK TO GET

When they enter in a relationship, they do so because they want to share the best of them with the other person, and their main focus is to make the other person happy.

“Some of the biggest challenges in relationships come from the fact that most people enter a relationship in order to get something. They’re trying to find someone who’s going to make them feel good. In reality, the only way a relationship will last is if you see your relationship as a place that you go to give, and not a place that you go to take.” Anthony Robbins

2. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR PERSONAL HAPPINESS

These people are already happy on their own and because of that their love will last until the end of days. They don’t look for “salvation” when entering a new relationship, but rather they look for ways to make the other person happy, understanding that “Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to their own. “ Robert Heinlein

3. AWARENESS

Awareness of the fact that there will be ups and downs, good days and bad days, and that in order for their LOVE to last, they need to invest time and effort in it. You can’t take your hand off the steering wheel and expect to end up in paradise.

4. COMMITMENT

They are committed to: “have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part” and if something gets “broken”, they don’t throw it away (and a lot of times is the other person who you want to “throw” away), they fix it.

5. HOW TO LOVE WITHOUT BEING NEEDY

And even though it may sound quite frightening, it’s not, for you want to be in a relationship with somebody who is aware of the fact that they are already whole and complete and they don’t need another human being in order for them to feel this way. Can you imagine all the pressure you put on your partner the moment you say that it’s their job to make you happy, and it’s their job to complete you?

“It is only when we no longer compulsively need someone that we can have a real relationship with them.” Anthony Storr

6. RESPECT AND ACCEPTANCE

Respect and acceptance of the differences that exist between them, without trying to constantly change the other person, allowing them to be as they are.

“When men and women are able to respect and accept their differences then love has a chance to blossom.” John Gray

7. COMMUNICATION AND TRUST

Trust in the other person and in what they can achieve together as a couple and a very healthy way of communicating with one another.

“The fundamental glue that holds any relationship together is trust.” Brian Tracy

8. APPRECIATION

Appreciation of the differences and similarities that exist between them, appreciation of the work each and every one of them does and appreciation of who and what they are.

9. TEAMWORK

You know how a lot of couples, after their honeymoon stage they start to act like they are enemies? A lot of people do that, but not these people, for they understand that they are moving in the same direction and that they have the same goals and interests, and that they are part of the same team, and because of that, their love flourishes from one day to another.

“I’m here not because I am supposed to be here, or because I’m trapped here, but because I’d rather be with you than anywhere else in the world.” Richard Bach

10. SPACE

They understand the importance of having space in their relationship for they know that:“Space is a unifying field of awareness in which you meet the other person without the separative barriers created by conceptual thinking. And now the other person is no longer “other.” In that space, you are joined together as one awareness, one consciousness.” Echkart Tolle

11. SELF IMPROVEMENT AND SELF GROWTH

The people who are in strong, healthy and  long lasting relationships are aware of the fact that: “When you struggle with your partner, you are struggling with yourself. Every fault you see in them touches a denied weakness in yourself.” Deepak Chopra

They take time to work on their own person, they take time to better themselves because they know that by doing so,  by bettering themselves, their relationship will also improve.

12. FOCUS ON THE GOOD TRAITS OF THE OTHER PERSON INSTEAD OF THE BAD TRAITS

Focus on the good traits of the other person and not on the negative ones. They don’t focus on what the other person is not or on what they think might be missing from their relationship. These people are mature enough to understand that,“Problems in relationship occur because each person is concentrating on what is missing in the other person.” Wayne Dyer

13. NON-INTERFERENCE

They allow the other person to be as he/ she wants to be, without trying to control them, without trying to tell them what to think, what to believe and what to feel.

Added by Luminita Saviuc on 15, April 2012

A bit of history

I love History- there is something refreshing about looking back in time and seeing where we come from.  The perspective is gives me inspires me.

I saw this, and even comparing a place like Greece at the turn of the century with what the United States looked like in major cities is dynamically different.

I can see clearly...

I got LASIK earlier this week.  Since I've worn glasses my whole life (well, since I was 7), I've never known what it was like to see without the assistance of assistance.

The surgery was swift and amazing.  Thereafter, I was able to see things clearly.  The interesting thing I noticed was that I've actually missed being able to pop out my contacts or take off my glasses and just - relax.  The ability to not see, is pretty nice too.

I miss the break.  I miss the luxury of being able to not see everything.

Imagine that.  Oh, and I miss my awesome frames too.  But it sure is great to wake up in the morning and see what time it is!

Opposites Attract

"The bobcat and fawn would not normally be placed together......but a wildfire in Santa Barbara, California last month helped forge some unlikely bonds.  Rescued from the Jesusita Fire, a 3-week old bobcat kitten and 3 day old fawn became fast friends.  The animal rescue in California brought predator and prey together.  But these babies simply took comfort in each other’s company."

This is an old article that came back around in circulation on the internet.  I love the idea of two mammals that should be enemies, became friends out of necessity.

A great reminder to keep your options open-  you never know who may be your next best friend.  Also, fear can drive us to take chances which may benefit us.  

Paradox of Friends

Finding just the right fit- can be hard.  It's fair to say that I have met a good amount of girls over the years.  Most of them weren't/aren't interested in being more than.... non-friends.

I can easily recall the feeling when the "cool girls" in school thought I was terribly weird/ annoying/ un-cool.

It's slim pickings out there! However, I'm lucky enough to have a handful of awesome gals that mean the world to me.  And even though I may annoy them, they still love me anyway.   Success! I think the secret is to keep looking for the people that you can be 100% yourself with.

How to be a supportive friend

I have best friends whom I love like family.  I love them no matter what, "warts and all."  Sometimes we disagree, then, agree to disagree.  Sometimes we laugh.  Sometimes we help the other out.  I can be stronger for them if they need me to help them out with something.  I have the courage to be more bold because of their encouragement.  I believe in myself because they believe in me.  Often, we have faith and hope for one another when it's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

These are my soul mates.  They are my rock.

One of the hardest things to do for these special people, is support them when they are going through something devastating.  When I can't protect them or do them a favor.  When a joke can't help relieve the tension.  It's awful. I like to be able to take action to help make things a bit better.

That isn't always possible.  Sometimes, the only thing you can do, is say "I love you, I'm here, I'll do anything, and I know that will never be enough- but that's all I got."

Because- that's all I got.

Thanksgiving

It's true, I'm Thankful for all of you.  For those of you who make me laugh, , who love me, and who actually read what I have to say.

I'm Thankful!

Compliments

I was getting an acupressure treatment the other day (for S&G's), and the woman happened to be Korean.  She was an older woman, and when I mentioned to her I had been to Korea a few years ago, she was thrilled.  I told her a few of the words I know and she was impressed and happy to hear I was a fan of her country.

After she finished doing what she was doing, toward the end, she said to me, "You pretty.  Pretty girl."

I said heartily and cheerfully, "thank you!"  She didn't have to be nice, but she was.  And it felt so good.

Thank you, kind lady.  Thanks for making me feel special.

Turkey Day

In anticipation of the glorious Turkey that awaits me, I can't help but remind myself where they come from.  Whenever I stop to think about the animals that become my dinner I feel guilty.  I know they are yummy, but they are also so damn cute.  Check it out:

On Giving

The rich man is not the one who has much, but the one who gives much. For what one gives away, he keeps for all eternity.  St. John Chrysostom

If N were to read the above, or I ask him what he thought about it, he'd probably say it was a big conspiracy to get people to be nice/give away their money.  And then he'd call them, "suckers."  N and I have different perspectives on charity.  

I wonder what this lady below would say to my love.  She'd probably call him a fool.  This woman gave to children she didn't know.  She invested in their future.  Hopefully, they pay it forward.  If even one of them does, it was worth it. 

She's an inspiration.  She is a true steward to the human race.  

Angels among us?

As I get older, I can't help but think that those that leave us (through death) are still among us.  I realize that makes me sound a bit crazy, and that there isn't any discernible proof I have to offer.  It's a feeling I get from time to time.  When there are moments that something from the past, that I haven't seen, heard or smelled comes back to me- I feel like I know.  

I found it interesting to read about this gentleman who believes he saw:

“flocks of transparent, shimmering beings” that “arced across the sky, leaving long, streamer like lines behind them.” They were, he says, “silvery” and “scintillating.” After coming out of the coma, Alexander wasn't certain what to call these sparkling beings, but he did describe them as “winged” and “advanced. Higher forms.”

Dr. Eben Alexander, a Neurosurgeon, was in a coma for seven days, and the above was his experience.  He's a man of science.  That makes me that more interested in what he has to say.  Take a look at his article.   Whether spirits or angels, it doesn't matter to me.  What matters is that there is even a possibility to consider.  

You are never alone

I am such a sap for a great real - life story.  Maybe this video made me even more emotional because it was from one of my favorite places:  South Korea.  This poor boy, homeless and an orphan, wowed this audience, and now the world, to the tune of over 70M hits on youtube with his performance on Korea's Got Talent.

It was clear the quiet spoken boy experienced nothing by challenges in his life.  But he believed that he would never be alone ever again after that performance the response people had to his talent- and that is an unbelievable site to see.  Check it out:

Equality for Women -everywhere

‎"I want my commitment to ending girl marriage to be equal to my commitment to ending apartheid." - Desmond Tutu

There is so much in this world that I'll never know or experience.  One of those things is what its like to live in a place where woman don't have the same rights and privileges as we do here.  Reading about the plight of women in some parts of Africa completely frustrates me.  

Knowing that Mr. Tutu is on the case seems like eventually (and hopefully in not too long), this problem will be resolved.  

Gay Marriage Rationale

This is so true- and also so funny.  I know some of you may be wondering how I can reconcile being Christian and pro-gay marriage.  The answer?  I'm pro-marriage.  I'm pro-human beings.  I'm pro-love.  I'll let God work out the details.  Until then- I'll keep on loving (and laughing).

CollegeHumor's Favorite Funny Videos

Self Involved

"It is not accidental that Christ said, “Whoever loves himself more than me, even his own life, cannot be my disciple.” In other words, God asks us to cut off every relationship. Not to hate ourselves, not to reject ourselves, but to liberate ourselves from self-absorption, from our narcissism. It requires great courage to be liberated from the bondage of this world so that we fear nothing".  Fr. Maximos in the book “Night River: A Pilgrimage to the Heart of Christian Spirituality”

What is a Spiritual Life ?

"The foundation of the spiritual life is self-control and temperance, just as St. Paul advocated. This implies an ability to restrain our desires. That’s where we begin our struggle. We need practice. How can we become compassionate, charitable and loving if we can sacrifice nothing of ourselves? The commandments of God are the medicines that He offers for our cure. Honoring the commandments liberates us from the slavery of our passions and unbridled desires. When God said, ‘You shall not eat from the tree,” it was a commandment to exercise temperance. That is why before beginning his ministry Christ fasted for forty days and forty nights. To show that the first step in the spiritual life is to take mastery over your desires."  Fr. Maximos in the book “Night River: A Pilgrimage to the Heart of Christian Spirituality”

Thank you, Veterans

Thank you, Veterans.  Thank you for your courage and bravery.  Thank you for defending us and our country.  And a special shout out to my dad, my favorite Veteran of all.  You are my #1 hero.

Gender Rules

When I was little my mom didn't want me to play soccer because I was a girl, and she felt that soccer was a boys sport.  I was allowed to do ballet (and tap!).  I hated ballet and tap.  All I wanted to do was play soccer and be a Goal Keeper.

At 10 years old, I found my own team, tried out, made the team, found my own ride there - and went to my dad to get the $20 I needed for my uniform. He agreed.  I was thrilled and went on to play soccer on local, travel and High School soccer teams.  I wasn't the best, but I was OK for a minute or two.  In my 20's I coached a girls team for about five years which had a great impact on my life.  I still love soccer all these years later.

When I saw this video I was so proud of this little girl- she's playing tackle football, an aggressive sport that will really only tolerate girl kickers in some cases. There was a girl that played college ball.  In DC, there is a female high school football coach, even.

Who is to say what people are capable of if you eliminate the chance for them to even try?

Man can this kid play!  Who cares if she's a girl?  Check it out:

Maturity

"The day the child realizes that all adults are imperfect, she becomes an adolescent; the day she forgives them, she becomes an adult; the day she forgives herself, she becomes wise." 

--Alden Nowlan, Canadian poet, novelist and playwright

I'll be the first person to admit that I didn't get along with my parents while I was growing up.  I was mad at my Dad because he was never around (he worked over 100 hours a week up until a few years ago).  The brunt of the rearing came from my mom who had three girls with very big and different personalities to tend to.  

me and my bestie (i.e my mom:)

They weren't perfect (and still aren't).  There are things they did and decisions they made that I would never make were I in the same position.  But they loved us.  They provided for us and nurtured us.  As an adult my mother has apologized for any mistakes she made while raising us. My response to her:  nonsense! 

They did the best they could.  I know this implicitly.  I forgive them for not being perfect, and I have asked them to forgive me for the same very human mistakes I made.  

Have you ever met folks that still complain about the way they were raised, or mistakes their parents made 20, 30, or even 40+ years ago?  There are exceptions to what I'm about to say of course, but all I really want to say is, let it go.  Move on.  When you are a parent, do you think you are going to have it all figured out?  Doubtful.  

I can proudly say that years later, my mom is my best friend.  I absolutely would never have guessed that we would be as close and I'm thrilled I was wrong.  Love you, mom! 

money money money

The holidays are upon us- can't you tell? Now that the elections are over, the political campaigns won't be peppering us with their incessant ads.  In it's place- holiday ads.  In a few weeks it will be Thanksgiving and then Christmas will be here before you know it.

One of the most ridiculous things I see which contradicts everything the holidays is supposed to be about is Black Friday.  Instead of people getting into the holiday spirit, we see news stories about people slugging each other while trying to get a good deal on a big screen tv, or the latest game system.  Cyber Monday is no better.  It all leaves me feeling terribly greedy.

Let's try something different this year-  what about Giving Tuesday?  Have you heard of it?  It's a day dedicated to GIVING to a cause.  Choose any cause that means something to you.  It's a great opportunity to give instead of take.  Here's a worthy cause for you to take a look at.  

Black Friday…
Cyber Monday…
Help launch #GivingTuesday^TM!

Women for Women

These ladies are changing the world, not only the world that surrounds them in their local community, but globally as well.  They are courageous and strong.  They help each other.  They call each other sister.  Check it out:

HERE

Keep them Guessing

I voted today as I have in every election since I was able at 18.  I headed to the polls this afternoon with the hopes that the projected long lines would be shorter.  Luckily, they were.  I was happy to vote and get my sticker.  It reminded me of when I was a kid and my mom would take me to vote with her.  She would let me hit the "vote" button and I thought I had so much power.

As I walked into the building today I saw a woman in front of me who had two canes she was walking with.  I noticed she was having a rough time of it. She had a folding chair over her shoulder that was jostling around.   I approached her and asked her (very gingerly) if she could use a hand.  She gladly accepted my help and we chatted as we walked toward the entrance.

She was there to help pass out leaflets - and I know she noticed that I grabbed both of the sample ballots as I always do.  She looked somewhat confused as to why I would help her out, but said "thank you" several times.  I assured her it was not a big deal at all and wished her a good day.

Doing the right thing has nothing to do with politics or preferences.  I love the fact that I helped someone from the other side of the political fence today ;)

Get Out and Vote

Duke says he doesn't care who you vote for- as long as you do!  

GET OUT THE VOTE!

Worried about the future ?

"If we really fully belong to God, then we must be at His disposal and we must trust in Him. We must never be preoccupied with the future. There is no reason to be so. God is there."    Brother Roger of Taize

                      

I could drive myself crazy (and sometimes I do) when I consider the possibility of what will happen in the future.  Then, I stupidly try to plan around what MAY happen.  It's controlling.  It's foolish.  It's a habit.  

I know I'm not alone here, which makes me feel a bit better.  But I also know that while others are in my boat, we all continue to struggle with the problem of trying to control our futures.  While there are certain things we can control, there are many others we can't.  In fact, we can't control other people in our lives, which is often the source of our frustrations.

Example:  I wonder what N is going to do about his career.  I worry about how much time he spends (or wastes) on certain hobbies I think are stupid.  I angst over our unborn/ unconceived children and how we'll raise them.  I worry about how we'll ever agree about how to spend money.  

Clearly, there is no way I'm going to solve - on my own- our future problems.  Especially since N doesn't plan for the upcoming weekend, let alone a five year plan.  

My faith tells me it is foolish to waste my time worrying about anything.  If I'm truly faithful, then I should know that God will take care of things ultimately.  In Him, all things are possible.  Clearly, my Faith wanes.  

For those who just need some good common sense, repeat after me- "It's going to be OK.  Just Be!" 

Laughter as medicine

"Ho ho ho....  ha ha ha!!!"   Say it out loud.  And then repeat.  Again and again.  Undoubtedly, real laughter will come.  Healing and warming laughter.  That kind that makes you feel whole and good.  

“Combining laughter and movement, like waving your arms, is a great way to boost your heart rate. One pioneer in laughter research, William Fry, claimed it took ten minutes on a rowing machine for his heart rate to reach the level it would after just one minute of hearty laughter.” Not only that, but research has shown that people who were diagnosed with Cancer or other life-threatening diseases have been healed through the power of comedy, sense of humor and laughter! "

Studies prove this.  And I know it to be true too.  Try it.  It can't hurt.  

Get what you pray for

I used to have a different perspective about how God and prayer worked.  I thought if I prayed for something, and I was good, I would get it.  I've learned, that is just not how it works.  You can be the best person in the world, and bad things can still happen to you.

It's one of the most frustrating things about being a faithful person.  How do you maintain your faith and your confidence in God, when bad things happen to good people or when you don't get what you ask for?

Have you ever heard of the saying, "you do not have, because you do not ask,"  or "ask and you shall receive?" They stem from the Book of James, who is known as Jesus' brother.  He was known as a prayerful man with knees as tough and calloused as camel's feet (from all that ceaseless praying).

The blog post that made me think about this again went on to elaborate about the topic to say:

"I’ve heard people quote that first sentence a million times to say that all you have to do is ask, and if you ask in faith then God will answer. (I notice that people usually quote it from the King James: “ye have not because ye ask not.”) The idea seems to be that God is just waiting around to bless us if we’ll only make a peep.

But what about the second sentence? “You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions.” Passions basically equates to sinful desires. So to that point, what if we live our lives out of sync with our prayers? What if we pray for things to gratify or satisfy our lusts or our anger or our fears or (insert your particular issue)? James seems to say that God won’t give us what we ask." 

I think another long heard saying applies here as well, - be careful what you pray for.  

Voting and who to vote for

I am proud to tell people I'm Independent.  I vote for whomever I want to.  I complain about both political parties.  I think it's fair to say that there is plenty of fodder for all of us to complain about.

When I think about politics through the lens of my religion, the lines of what is right and how I should vote are blurred.  I've heard that Republicans are awful because they don't give enough to those in need.  If you are Christian, the altruistic vote goes toward the Democratic party.  However, other Christians will say that Democrats are awful because they are pro-choice.

It's not clear to me.  I want to help people.  I don't want other people to tell me how to feel, or how to vote. I don't want other people to tell me what to do with my money or my life.  But I also understand that there are a lot of our fellow citizens that need help and support.

This article elaborates further about the topic.  This women's choice is to abstain from her available choices.

What's your umbrella ?

My friend Wendy is far more experienced in the process of grieving than I am.  She suggests this analogy for helping someone through a rough time, such as the loss of a loved one:

" 'I can't stop the rain, but I'll share my umbrella."  Your umbrella is prayer. "

That was her response to my post about what to say to someone when someone they love passes away.  I really like the analogy.  And she's right, the best I feel I have to offer is prayer.  

I think it also applies toward when folks are going through other hard times.  This is what I want to say to my best friends when they are in pain and there just isn't anything I can do.  I'll be your umbrella.  I 'll be your shoulder.  I'll be your anything you need.... just tell me.  And if you don't know what you need, just know that I love you.  I'm praying for you. Always.  

Love like Crazy

Sometimes when I cruise around the internet I find little snippets like this picture and I save it for future use.  It's cheesy but I like it.  There, I admit it. 

I love N, but I'm not sure If I love him crazy yet.  I'll keep working on it.  I do know that we overuse "I love you."  He's probably even more mindful of it than I am.  He won't get off the phone without saying I love you, even if he's at work...he'll mumble it into the phone.  It's pretty adorable. It makes me love him a bit more every time.

Stronger and Bolder

This girl and her strength inspires me.

My sister was a cheerleader and my niece is one now for her high school.

Watching how hard my sister worked, I learned that cheering is certainly a sport (although I know a lot of dudes would laugh at the prospect).  Those folks work hard!

This girl is probably working even harder.  Look how much she is doing with one less leg.

She is bold and amazing.

She is fearless and beautiful.

Virginity Woes

Did anyone catch this tid bit in the news?  A girl from Brazil who is selling her virginity for $780,000?  She said she is doing it to raise money to build houses for the homeless, which is admirable.  However, raising money in such a fashion seems repugnant to me.

I'm all for charity and volunteer work.  It's a part of who I am and what I believe in.

I feel awful that this woman's first experience with something that should be beautiful is going to be meaningless and cold.

Strangely, this reminds me of my first time. I felt pushed to get it done and over with because I was almost 23.  I was in puppy love and thought it was the next appropriate step to take. I thought (stupidly) I was going to marry that silly boy.  Plus, I didn't want to be the last one left holding my "V" card.

Looking back, I'm certain N and I both feel like we wish we only ever shared our love with each other in that way.  It would be impossible to go back in time and tell myself differently- which is unfortunate.  I know my mother gave me this advice and I just didn't listen.  I thought her advice was "dated."

Live and learn.  Now I wonder what I'll tell my children when this conversation comes up.  How am I going to be able to convince them to see things from a different perspective?

This little old blog

It's amazing.

This blog has helped me be more open and accountable to myself and my decisions.  My best friends read a post and contact me asking who a post was about, what I meant by what I wrote, etc.  It's very gratifying.  Although a lot of the time but the time a post is published, it's been sitting in the queue waiting to be published for a while, and I don't recall all the circumstances surrounding a story or my inspiration from the post.

Almost two years later, I have published over 600 posts and over 50,000 page views are accounted for.  My ego is booming at the prospect of folks coming here, even if it was by accident.

Thank you for reading.  Thank you for commenting (mom, aka "anonymous, xox".  And thanks for following.

It means the world to the KG.


These are the top 5 most popular posts: (strangely, all from last spring)

Why smile?

Mar 29, 2011, 4 comments

10657

Who's shy? This girl

May 23, 2011, 2 comments

7245

Admit when you don't know

Apr 22, 2011, 1 comment

6497

Black Sheep

Jun 27, 2011, 6 comments

2684

Appreciate the small things

Apr 10, 2011, 1 comment

2161

KG Hate

For us to be in discord with another person is not the other’s problem. It is our problem. Others may not want us, but we must be spiritually united with them because we know we must love one another. If others do not like us, we are nevertheless obligated to love them and feel sorry that our very existence is problematic for them. That is how we construct bridges with other human beings.  Fr. Maximos from the book “Inner River: A Pilgrimage to the Heart of Christian Spirituality”

I have to admit that I have a grudge I can't let go of.  I just can't do it.  I'm still angry and frustrated.  I also know if anyone knew the details of the situation they would agree with me.  They would say that I was entitled to be angry and stay angry.  Though they would defend me no matter what.  

The thing is, my faith teaches me that it simply doesn't matter what the situation is.  It is my problem.  It is my ultimate goal to move beyond this grudge.  I'm just not there yet.  

And for the people that don't like me (hard to believe I know, but they exist), I will try to love them.  I'll try. I'm "sorry that [my] existence is problematic for" you.   

Call to prayer

This is what you hear for the call to prayer at a monastery....two pieces of wood.  After their bells were taken away from the Ottomans during wars that waged a thousand years ago, the monastics began to use a new mechanism.  They still use it today.  They used it when I was in Guatemala at the orphanage that is run by nuns, except the kids are the ones that take turns creating the beautiful music.

To play, click here:  

It's a peaceful reminder that it's time to bring yourself from what you were doing and re-focus on something far more important. Thanking God for what he has brought to your life, apologizing for your sins and asking for his assistance where you may need it.

Sometimes when I pray, I just say "thank you thank you thank you thank you" over and over again.  Other times, I just repeat "Lord have mercy, lord have mercy, lord have mercy," or in Greek "kyrie elesion, kyrie elesion", or the longer Jesus Prayer, which is "Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a Sinner."

That is all, and it is a lot.  If you consider it's intentions, it is a very full prayer.

After I pray I feel warm and full.  I feel more at peace.  I feel heard and calm.  I even say these prayers as my mantra during yoga instead of the traditional yoga meditations.  It's far more meaningful to me, and I feel even more refreshed when I am stretching my muscles and appreciating the body God gave me.

Try it some time.  It certainly can't hurt.

What's old is new

It's funny but true.  Sometimes what is old becomes new again.  From fashion to music.  From foods to architecture.  Our collective tastes as a culture wax and wan depending on the era and external circumstance.  Sometimes I have no idea why things come back in style, like neon colors or Jelly shoes.

My particular brand of faith has never gone out of style for those that follow it, but it's found a new generation of people searching for an authentic way to practice Christianity.  Our faith remains unchanged.  It's practice is unchanged.  At it's root, the strength of Christ's love fortifies us and drives our being.  That is it.

I found this blog post funny, as it beckons hipsters to check out Christian Orthodoxy as something that is old but still very cool.  We have men with serious beards going on and other trends and styles that are "hip" right now.

What's old is new.  What's new is old.  Today is opposite day.

Goose Bumps

My friend sent me this video.  She works with children who have autism.  Hearing her stories about their challenges and the experiences their parents have struggling with their children always move me.

I got goose bumps watching this.  I found it moving and inspiring.

Fanaticism /Hypocrisy

A thought:  
"A Christian must not be fanatical; he must have love for and be sensitive towards all people. Those who inconsiderately toss out comments, even if they are true, can cause harm...he [who thinks he] is capable of correcting others is filled with egotism."   - Elder Paisios the Athonite

One of the biggest turn offs in the world is someone who is a hypocrite.  I've been one before, and I'm certain I'll make that mistake again.  When it comes to religion, this is an even more egregious offense in my opinion.  

As a Christian, we are supposed to embody what we believe.  Our actions should show people who we are.  Words follow, but should not lead.  

The quote above certifies my belief, although I know others can't help but point fingers when they see people doing things that are "wrong."  

Religious folks use this justification to express hatred to people who follow different religious beliefs, or who are gay, etc.  

I believe it's not your place.  There is no need.  You don't have to say, "hey, I agree 100% with you!" But I also don't think you should judge or criticize others.  We aren't supposed to cast stones. We just aren't.  

Next time you see someone doing or saying something that you don't necessarily agree with, try to withhold your reaction.  Try to love them a little!  That is what Jesus would do.  Period.  Any brand of Christian should (in theory) agree with that statement.  

My love to you all,
KG

Your own pace

My friend Wendy posted a few days ago about an article she read. It made me so sad to see it, but glad that this young man was being honest about the tough time he was having.  This guy is taking time away from the powerful Duke basketball team to mourn the loss of his sister.  She died while on her way to see him play in 2009.

It's also a reminder that everyone handles things in their own way and in their own timing.  You can't force someone to "get over it" even if you want them to.

May he heal soon...and go on with his life.

Always go to the funeral

This is such a great essay, and it makes so much sense.  It sounds like something my mother and father taught me, especially my mom.

" I remember two things from the funeral circuit: bottomless dishes of free mints and my father saying on the ride home, "You can't come in without going out, kids. Always go to the funeral." 

"Always go to the funeral" means that I have to do the right thing when I really, really don't feel like it. I have to remind myself of it when I could make some small gesture, but I don't really have to and I definitely don't want to. I'm talking about those things that represent only inconvenience to me, but the world to the other guy. You know, the painfully under-attended birthday party. The hospital visit during happy hour. The Shiva call for one of my ex's uncles. In my humdrum life, the daily battle hasn't been good versus evil. It's hardly so epic. Most days, my real battle is doing good versus doing nothing."

-by DEIRDRE SULLIVAN

Over the years I've been to so many funerals and wakes.  The one I remember the most is my grand mothers.  It wasn't during the ceremony I remember.  It was the after part.  My extended family got together and had a good time.  We laughed and enjoyed the memory of my unique and creative Grandmother.  We told stories about her and her sisters.  My dad and his siblings seemed sad but happy she was no longer in pain.  The conflict they always seemed to battle among themselves was put aside for the short few days.  

Oh boy how we laughed!  We laughed so hard I remember my cheeks hurting and my belly aching.  It felt good to have that joyful yet physical reminder to celebrate her memory.  

The other memory I hold close to me is of the funeral I never attended.  The daughter of my parent's best friends died when I was about 9 years old.  She was like a big sister to me, and babysat us often.  She was only 21 when she passed away leaving her bright future behind.  Her smile and laugh was infectious.  She had a way about her that just made people happy.  I will never forget her, or the fact that I was too scared to see her at the wake or funeral.  I still regret it.  

No more.  I always go to the wake at least.  I always get it up for those who suffer a loss.  N does too.  That's just how he is and I love we have that in common.  Just showing your face has to be enough for that moment, when nothing else is.  

New Friends in Unexpected Places

Back in August, I went to N's friend's wedding.  I only knew a few of his friends who were there.  In the beginning of the evening everyone offered the obligatory introduction of them self and explained how they knew the bride and groom.

We met this girl who was sitting across from us whom I was immediately drawn in by.  I probably talked to her for hours that night.  She seemed like a kindred spirit, and it felt like we both needed to have that conversation.  It felt as though both of us were going to leave that evening taking away something each of us needed.

At one point I thought to myself, "oh no, she's going to think you are weird for talking to her so much!"  That was my new friend anxiety kicking in.  At some point the thought crosses my mind that some one may be faking being nice to me and they don't really like me after all.  I think this is a hang over from high school.

By the end of the night, I can say with certainty, that I didn't annoy her too much.

I consider Wendy a friend even though I met her only once.  I keep up with her through the particularly poignant blog she writes about being a young Widow.  She's strong and inspiring.  I'm thrilled to have made her acquaintance and even more happy that I followed my hunch and got to know her better that night.

Compassion

Learn from a living embodiment of compassion.  A great teacher no matter what religion you follow. Check this out which was amazing.



Video streaming by Ustream

Progress for Equal Rights

I have a good friend who is gay.  She is not only a good person, but a great one.  I love her.  We've been friends since the Spring of our Freshman year in college.

I'm ashamed to say that I think the attitude I projected at the time forced her to wait over three years to tell me she was gay and in a happy relationship.  That is three years more that I could have been a great friend to her.

It still makes me sad, although we have both moved onward and upward and are great friends.  Shoot, that was 15 years ago!

When I hear about progress such as this group, it makes me happy. The group is working to breakdown the barrier against gay athletes.  I know that even greater equality is around that corner, and that makes me happy.

Fight like Cats and Dogs

You have to read this.  Just one look at the picture is enough to warm a cold heart on a cold day.

I hate loosing my temper, but you all know it happens.  I go all rage KaGe a few times a year when everything that I bottle up explodes in a not so pleasant way.  It's not an attractive quality of mine.  When I see an example of opposites attract, like the above puppy and kitten, it reminds me that if you push aside your differences with someone, at the end of the day, you are just two mammals trying to get a little warmth from this cold and sometimes lonely world.

What's your Passion?

Do you hate it when people ask you what your passion is?  In particular, in terms of determining what to do with your career?  Check this out.....   Although I do take issue with not having a business plan for your calling.  In particular, if your calling includes taking risks with money.    Other than that, there are some good points included in this list.

Seven Myths About Finding Your Calling

Myth #1: Callings Come with Business Plans

This is horse manure. I could never have written a business plan for the way in which I’m called to serve on this planet. All you can do is follow the hot tracks one step at a time, each time getting closer and closer, honing in on your purpose until everything in your being says “YES!” (Usually followed closely by “Hell no!” Don’t worry. That phase is temporary.)

Myth #2: You Only Get One Calling

Nope. Sometimes callings show up with expiration dates. You do what you’re here to do. You complete it. And then you’re called to do something else.

Myth #3: Only Chosen People Have Callings

If you think callings are a luxury reserved for Divinely chosen, extraordinary people, you’re totally off base. Well, sort of. The reality is that every single one of us is a Divinely chosen, extraordinary person with a calling just waiting to be fulfilled. Own it. Claim yours. The planet needs you desperately.

Myth #4: Callings Must Come with Paychecks

Some people are called to be stay-at-home moms. Others are called to volunteer to do food distribution at a refugee camp in Africa. You don’t have to get paid for fulfilling your calling. (Though it sure is nice when you are!)

Myth #5: If You’re Following Your Calling, Life Is Easy All the Time

You don’t want to be going upstream, but even if you’re flowing downstream, you’re still likely to hit some rapids. Finding your calling definitely leaves you feeling like you’re in the flow more often than not, but that doesn’t mean you won’t hit your rough patches. If anything, the challenges just reaffirm your commitment to fulfilling what you’re called to do, reminding you how much what you’re doing matters.

Myth #6: Finding Your Calling Means You Have to Quit Your Stable Job

Sometimes finding your calling requires you to take a leap of faith and quit the job that isn’t your calling. But callings aren’t all or nothing. There’s no reason you can’t pay the bills with a stable job that doesn’t necessarily light your fire while fulfilling your calling on the side. 

Myth #7: You Must Have a Breakdown to Find Your Calling

For many, a breakdown precedes a breakthrough. But it doesn’t have to be that way if you’re listening to whispers from the Universe. You don’t have to wait for the proverbial 2 x 4 to thwack you upside the head. I was sound asleep before finding my calling, so I needed my Perfect Storm to blow through and shake me out of my complacency. But you don’t have to wait for the Universe to smack you. You can voluntarily leap out of your comfort zone and into your calling, if you’re self-aware and brave enough to do so. (More power to ya if you are!)