Need a Laugh

When I see graffiti or someone's mark left in a public place, it reminds me that the person that left it and those of us that see what remains are joined together by our response to that art.  That is part of what a community is.  Experiencing the sights and sounds of a city, or a commute with the people around you whether you know them by name or not.

When I see funny as hell things like what this website shows, I feel this sentiment even more.  Some people are so damn funny and sneaky clever.  

If you need a laugh, click here now.  You won't be sorry.  

Today is Awesome!

I met my friend Allie during freshman year of college.  We were partying so it was just a brief introduction but something about her stuck with me.  The next fall, we happened to rush the same sorority (recall, I don't believe in luck/coincidence), and the rest was history.  We became insta-friends, roommates, study buddies, work-out buddies, drinking buddies, secret keepers...etc.  You name it, we did it.  We had fun the whole damn time.  There is nothing like an Allie laugh fest.  I always leave her feeling like I had an ab workout from all the non-stop laughing.  

(Allie Carroll, photo credit)

Allie is one of those friends who knows me so well. She's been through a lot with me as we grew older and more mature (for the most part).  She sent me flowers when I had to put my childhood pet down.  She helped me get back on my feet after my first horrible breakup with what I thought was the love of my life.  She'll come running if I need her, and vice versa.  She's a great life-long friend.  

That being the case, I saw the below post from Allie on FB this morning and it resonated with me. It made me want to find her and give her a hug. 

"Over the past few weeks I have been feeling down about the general attitude most DC/Metro area people send out to into this wonderful world. Between doors closing in my face, friendly hello's met with blank stares, and grumpiness winning out even over apathy, it started to become more than I could handle. I too felt the tight squeeze of jaded emotions start to take hold and had the scowl to prove it. That is when it happened, (see photo Allie took this morning above) an unexpected delight waiting for me on the morning commute! Let's all remember that even though we may just be "going through the motions" it is important to observe and notice the people and small surprises that are among us! This morning helped me to remember to keep moving forward with a sense of humor and a smile. Hope you are doing the same."

A shout out to my old friend Allie C-  you always leave me with a laugh and a smile stretching across my face.  Keep looking for the bright side of the situation, and I will too.  

Mucho Smoocho,
KG

Wasting Time

Recently I've felt like I don't have enough time for anything.  I feel like I have so much work to do that I don't have time for my friends which is something that makes me happy.  I don't have time for hobbies.  I don't have time for my errands.  I barely have time for N. That's what the weekends are for.

This article talks about what Americans really spend their time doing.  It's fairly obvious most of us spend our time at work and sleeping (about 17 hours).  Check out what we actually do in our spare time.

The average person spends 21 minutes socializing and talking.  At least I make use of my travel time by multi-tasking my socializing time at the same time.  Same goes for cooking and cleaning.  Multi-task or don't bother.  That's how I operate.

However, it strikes me that what my closest friends have told me is true.  I'm always so darn busy multi-tasking that I typically don't focus wholly on one thing.  That's a problem.  I'm working on it. It's just going to need more time.  Dammit.  

Who's Bossy?

I remember when Bossypants came out and I thought, "man, what a funny title to a book."  Then I thought to myself, "hm, maybe I'm a little bit bossypants."

This was confirmed today after a conversation with my therapist, B.  Have I told you I see a therapist?  I've been seeing this woman for over 7 years- it may even be 8.  It's one of my most successful relationships.  I've learned so much about myself through my time spent with her.  Somehow, when I admit problems or issues about my life, it seems as though I can handle them better after discussing them with B.

Today I was telling B that I feel as though I bring my bossiness into my relationship which causes some problems.  N brings his narrow mindedness to our relationship which causes some problems.  There's more to the story, but after I left my appointment I called up N to admit to him, or rather, acknowledge this short coming.  His response was, "Honey!  I could have told you that and saved you a ton of money!"  I laughed and then he told me he loved me and knows I'm bossy. He knows he's narrow minded and we talked about how we have work to do to communicate better.

That's one of the reasons I love him.  He takes something that is hard for me to deal with, and then makes me laugh about it as though it was never a big deal to begin with.

That's progress for this bossy girl.

Mistakes out Loud

I own my mistakes as an adult so much more so than I did when I was 20.  With each successive year I feel pride when I can admit my faults, apologize for them, and thereafter try to ensure that I don't make the same mistake again.  That is true human progress- for me anyway.

About two thousand years ago early Christians would admit their failings in a public setting.  That was how they confessed their sins.  I suppose their community would help them to make sure they didn't commit the same sins again.  In a sense, I think that is why I admit my shortcomings when they come up.

This gentleman wrote a blog post about his mistakes.    I think it's pretty impressive to admit mistakes in such a public setting.  Good for him.

What do you think about this?  Do you need to share your faults, failings, sins, etc?  Does it make you feel better or worse?  How is this received from the folks you share with?

Our Protectors

I feel so awful for these folks who serve our country.  They do so much for so little.

"In 2010, for the second year in a row, more American soldiers killed themselves than died in combat. "

My father was in the Army. My grandfather was in the Navy.  My great-grand father was in the Navy and my brother-in-law is still in the Marine Reserves.  Serving our county is part of our family tradition.  I'm proud of it, as well as the sacrifices that our family has made to defend this country.  

These men and women need help dealing with the enormity of their responsibility.  They military needs to fund mental health programs.  They need to protect these folks that are protecting us.  

Men vs. Women

Men don't know anything about women.  For the most part.  Women don't know much about men.  We all agree about that.

At this point in my life,  I try to be honest about what I do and don't understand about everything, not just the opposite sex.

I know I'm not the only one who was frustrated by this situation with one of our representatives talking about rape, different kinds of rape (note:  there is only one kind!) and how rape rarely leads to pregnancy.  I immediately couldn't help but think that this is a situation whereby women need to tell men to just back off.  How could they ever understand what it's like to get pregnant?

Excuse the rant.  That is all.

Fall. Already?

It's August.  The Twenty Second day of August.  Today, I saw several leaves fall as I was looking out the window.  I saw the first falling leaf this past weekend and I grew dissapointed.  How is it possible that the beautiful lush green leaves I waited all winter for, are leaving me already?  

Time is moving by faster and faster.  

This time next year my life will be so different from what it is today.  Today is so much different than last year, or what I thought this year would be.  Time keeps moving.  I have to keep reminding myself that it isn't a bad thing.  

Sleep Study KG style

I've been thinking a lot about how much sleep I'm getting- or lack there of.  I used to be able to handle about 6 hours of sleep, no problem.  In college, I'd get about 3 hours or 4, have a full day, go out out at night and then stay up til 4 in the morning.  I can't believe I was able to rally like that.

These days, If I don't get 8 hours I literally can't get out of bed.  I need my sleep.  NEED IT!  My birthday is next month.  I'm feeling old.  Last year I found gray eyelashes.  This year, its the sleep.

While reading this article on NPR I thought of my own sleep predicament.  I probably violate most  of the rules that the article tells you to follow in order to get better sleep- from caffeine too late, to electronics too late (although I did move my TV from my room which N hates).

N just got a new job and now has to be in bed by 10PM to wake up by 5AM.  Which means we can't have our routine convo from about 10:30-11:30ish.  Perhaps this will finally give me a reason to get my act together and sleep earlier.  ZZZZzzzzzzZZZZzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZz.

Unhappy at work?

I don't think it's any secret that I've been pretty unhappy at work for a long time.  A long long time. Over a year.  When I come to think about it, my job is never what I envisioned I would make a career out of.  But here I am.

An opportunity came up for me to move to where N lives, and one of the reasons I decided to relent was because I wanted the change of pace.  I almost needed an excuse to force me to challenge myself.  If I didn't have that nudge I may be stuck in a job that I'm good at, but not very happy with for who knows how much longer.


I'm scared about the unknown coming around the bend for me, but excited too.  It was so interesting that I read this article last week - very timely.  The gist of the article is if you are unhappy at work you should do one of the three:

1. IF YOU DON’T LIKE YOUR JOB, CHANGE IT!
2. IF YOU CAN’T CHANGE YOUR JOB, CHANGE YOUR ATTITUDE
3. KEEP YOUR DREAMS ALIVE

It looks like I was better about #1 and #3 - but maybe it was too little too late.  Maybe I should have focused more on #2 when things got rough.  The most interesting thing about this is now that I have a new game plan for my future, work has taken a surprising turn for the best!

Flamingos

My mom has always loved Flamingos.  Always.  She even put up some yard art (in the backyard) of some Flamingos.  Check out this good parenting at work. Reminds of my mom in so many ways.  Love you, mom!

Happy Birthday, Julia Child

I love me some Julia Child.  I started watching cooking shows before I could even talk. I loved them.  I loved watching how raw ingredients would come together to create a beautiful and scrumptious looking meal.

Today, Julia would have been 100 years old.

I loved the movie about her life.  In particular, I loved the part of the story which showed her beautiful marriage.  Here's to you, Julia!  Thanks for making this world brighter!

Courage

This guy didn't quit.  He didn't let his team down.  He persevered, and I'm impressed to say the least.  He finished his 4 x 400 race with a broken foot- more specifically, a broken fibula.  Impressive team mate!  Good job Manteo Mitchell!

What is love?

"The way of the Church is LOVE; it differs from the way of the legalists. The Church sees everything with tolerance and seeks to help each person, whatever he may have done, however sinful he may be."
 ~Elder Paisios 

This is what being Eastern Orthodox is.  If you read the definition of "legalists" if offers a more in depth view of how Orthodoxy is different from Roman Catholicsm, or Protestantism.  Many of my friends have asked over the years- so here it is. The best summation I have read about the tenets I follow.

I am woman.... hear me roar!

When I was little my mom used to force me to listen to the oldies radio station- complete with 50's, 60's and 70's music. At the time, I hated it.  Now, I love all things classic rock, and have my mother to thank for it.  One of the songs that annoyed me the most was the Helen Reddy song "I am woman, hear me roar...."   Everything about the song was irksome to me.

Today, I can't help but think of another song that fits better when I think about how awesome the American women have done in the Olympics.  They are amazing.  They have won more gold medals than the men.  In general, they are impressive.  I love the team work and camaraderie I see amongst the women especially in the team sports, from Soccer, to Beach Volleyball, Indoor Volleyball, Water Polo, Track and Field... you can't win without being a selfless part of the equation.   You know what they say, "there's no "I" in tEam."

UPDATE:  US Women have won more medals than all countries in the world except four.  Now THAT is even more impressive. 

How to fight fair?

I'm writing this post not because I know the answer, but because it's something I'm working through.  N and I got into a disagreement.  Actually, he got mad at me for what I think was a stupid reason.  He figured out (a month after the fact) that I threw out an expired carton of eggs.  Note:  he was just going to use them today which would have been a month after they had already expired.
Nonetheless, the argument ended up being about me invading his space, changing things in his life, etc.
He had what I would consider (for lack of a better expression) a $hit fit.
If someone comes at me, I most often take a step back and don't engage.  If I'm pushed to far, I'll snap.  I didn't get to that place this time around.  However, when N came back from storming out to get a new carton of eggs to make breakfast with, he was ready to say he was sorry and move on.  I wasn't.  I don't rebound that quickly.  I never have.
This transition is a challenge, but I know its an inevitable part of the growing together process.  Patience, KG.  Patience.

Fear of Failure

"Fear of failure has one thing in common with all of our other fears: it is a feeling and not a fact."

Can someone please remind me of this when I get scared about not accomplishing something?  Please?  Because I guarantee I'll need to hear it again at some point. That point will probably be relatively soon.  

According to Terri Cole :

Knowing what is driving your behavior is key.

Answer the questions below about your fear of failure to help you gain clarity.

1. How is this fear of failure holding you back?
2. What would life be like if you did not have this fear?
3. Who are you afraid of disappointing if you fail?
4. How strong is your desire to release this fear?
5. If there were one step you could take to overcome this fear, what would it be?

Sometimes you have it, sometimes you don't

I got a sandwich today for lunch.  While paying, I realized I didn't have the proper change to pay.  In fact, I didn't have any change.  I apologized to the cashier for having to make $0.92 change out of the cash I gave her.  She said, "It's OK.  sometimes you have it, sometimes you don't, and when you need it, you usually don't have it." I said to her, "wow!  Isn't that a lesson in all of life?" The cashier laughed and agreed.

I love that life gives you this moments of life that are precious and instructive. They are everywhere if you are open to it.

Saving the day

When I was a kid, I was soccer (and field hockey) goal keeper.  I loved it.  I loved being a hero.  I loved saving the game.  I also hated to lose or feel like a failure, which is something that still stays with me today.

I remember one day I was at Soccer camp.  I was 14 years old and in a scrimmage.  There was a forward speeding toward me to my left and she took a shot to the left corner.  Somehow, I pushed off my left foot and bounded to the corner of the goal post and saved the ball with the tips of my fingers.  Everyone went wild.  It felt like a dream, and still does.   It's a great memory to think about when I consider being able to accomplish the seemingly impossible.

Take a look below at some amazing saves from other fabulous goal keepers.

Masters Of The Saves - The best home videos are here

Respect

I've had a few incidents transpire in my personal life which left me feeling disrespected.  What is respect?  According to webster's, its:: 

1. a relation or reference to a particular thing or situation<remarks having respect to an earlier plan>

2

: an act of giving particular attention : consideration

3

a : high or special regard : esteemb : the quality or state of being esteemedc plural : expressions of high or special regard or deference<paid our respects>

Then I saw this article and this video speaking about how much the great sprinter Usain Bolt respects another country, that he stopped giving an interview in order to wait for the conclusion of the US' national anthem to finish playing.  That is respect.  That is class.  I'm glad it's still out there.  

Greatness (part II)

Yesterday I wrote about a clever marketing campaign that left me hopeful.  Here's another look at the campaign from a much more sincere place:

And here's some more information about the jogger:

Greatness

I love clever marketing campaings that leave me feeling uplifted and hopeful.

During the Olypmics is easy to be amazed at what these athletes can achieve.  The point of this message is that"greatness is for ALL of us" and also that "greatness is wherever someone is trying to find it."

Gotta keep on pushing!

Twice the Joy

I had a convo with a great friend a little while ago.  I was telling her about the challenges that I am experiencing of late.  I was telling her that since times are tough for me right now, I try to focus on the good stuff.  But it's hard.  I realized if I didn't have N in my life I would be pretty miserable.  It's scary for one person to make such a difference in my life.  Being vulnerable to N's love has opened my world up to increasing amounts of joy.  

My friend said her father says, when you find your person, you experience "half the sorrows twice the joy."  It seems like its true.  It also seems like its worth it.

Another way to say the same thing:

“Joy shared is twice the joy. Sorrow shared is half the sorrow.”
—Swedish proverb

Poor people problems

Source: Bureau of Labor Statistics

Credit: Lam Thuy Vo / NPR

I tell my sister she has rich people problems, and that I have middle class people problems (a friend of mine came up with the funny term).  Then I read this article and I thought about poor people problems.

No money for education or retirement.  It's sad and scary and it makes me feel awful about their prospects for the future.

How can they (or their children) ever get out of their station, if they can't invest in education or their future?

Sadness.  I wish there was a way to make it better.  Then again, we don't live in an egalitarian or Utopian society.

Plastic Surgery

I'm not quite sure how I feel about plastic surgery.  It's elective surgery, which I understand.  However, I have known women who had breasts that were far to large for their frame, so they had breast reductions.  I get that.

I know some folks who got implants, because they had very small breasts.  I even understand that.  

I'm not sure how I feel about a 14 year old getting surgery to "fix" ears that stick out.  I understand bullying is horrible and I'm sure she was probably made fun of mercilessly.  But who knows if she may have grown into them in a few years after she finished maturing?  

I hope I don't have to confront this issue with any children of mine in the future.  I'd be paralyzed with wanting to fix their problems, punch the kids that made fun of them, and tell them to stay strong and wait.  

Why I don't talk about my wedding

Holy Moley.  I think I was born with some lady genes missing.

I'm getting married, which is wonderful and exciting.  I absolutely want to be married to N, but I am not interested (nor have I ever been) in the wedding itself.  This is confounding to most people, especially other women.  I wasn't the type of girl who planned a wedding when I was little.  I wasn't even sure I'd ever get married.

There are many reasons why I don't want to talk about my plans.  The first is that people have opinions.  You know what they say about opinions?  They are like a$$holes, everyone has one.  I realize that most people aim to keep their opinions to themselves. But they don't. Most often, a slight hesitation is all that I need to see before I get offended and assume that someone thinks my taste in ....anything is awful, wrong, uninspired, etc.  Plus, everyone wants to know about the dress.  I'm tempted to roll up in a red taffeta dress with sequins just to shock them all (or spite them).

Another reason I don't like to talk about my wedding is that I never wanted to have a big huge wedding ordeal.  I wanted N and I to have an intimate exchange of vows between us in front of God and the people we care about the most.  That isn't an option for me.  I hate being the center of attention, and always have.  But I'll be walking down an aisle in front of 300+ people.  I'm not really looking forward to that.

I would rather make all my selections and then show people what I have chosen, if I chose to show them.  Weird?  Probably.  True?  Yes.  Do I mean to offend anyone?  No!

What now?  Do I apologize for feeling the way I do, or change?  I don't think so.  I'll try to be nicer, but I'm in a place where it doesn't seem as easy to be nice about something that annoys me so much.

Dilettante

I had an old friend basically just tell me she's a phony.  A dilettante.

I don't think it's a fair statement.  This friend is talented and cool and awesome and quirky in all the best ways possible.

However, I absolutely admire her ability to not take herself too damn seriously.  Good for you, friend!