Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Dreams never die

I always love reading a great human interest story- they make me so happy. This particular one is a great lesson proving that an old dream doesn't have to stay old.  The speed skater here took her childhood dream, spun it around, and is now, at 50, taking it to another level. 

Check the video out, and be inspired. 

Thursday, December 26, 2013

Marriage advice for newbies

I tell Husband that we need all the help we can get when it comes to advice to a lasting marriage.  My grandparents have been married for 66 years.  Sixty-six!  Thinking about 20 years is mind boggling to me. 

I forwarded him this list after I read it and told him to review, so we can learn from other people's mistakes and hard earned wisdom.

1. Marriage will teach you more about yourself than you bargained for. Consider this a gift.
2. Don't complain about the cooking when your spouse is the cook.
3. Never decide to get a divorce when you have PMS. (Same principle applies when you have the flu, jet-lag, or you're chronically under-slept.)
4. When people say marriage is hard, believe them.
5. Never start the day off nagging or complaining.
6. An unwillingness to quarrel about something doesn't mean you agree with it.
7. Establish early on whether the question "do these pants make me look fat?" is a true yes or no question.
8. Clean is a relative term.
9. Generosity may be the key to all happiness.
10. Most of your fights are living proof of your immaturity. The sooner you grow up, the happier you'll be.
11. When you think you've tried everything, know that you haven't.
12. Admit your shortcomings. They're obvious anyway.
13. Express gratitude often.
14. Give up all hope of being perfectly understood.
15. Being right will eventually lose its appeal.
16. Many of the things you fight hard for will turn out not to have been worth the fight.
17. Be the first to apologize. Really. It's not as painful as it sounds.
18. It's idiotic to stay up late arguing about being too tired to have sex.
19. Pay more attention to what you're doing to make things go badly and pay less attention to what your spouse is doing.
20. When your spouse's behavior is open to interpretation, ascribe the higher motive.
21. If you're going to complain about something, come to the table with a suggested alternative.
22. Hatred is perfectly normal under the circumstances. Don't freak out about it or take it too seriously.
23. Your definition of sexy will change over time. New definition: husband going out in the pouring rain to latch the slamming back gate.
24. Do not underestimate how irritating your spouse's slightly irritating behaviors will become over time.
25. If you want something, recognize and accept that it's your job to ask for it.
26. The louder your spouse yells, the quieter and calmer you need to be.
27. Disappointment is inevitable. Life gets a lot easier once you accept this.
28. Sometimes you're going to do your unfair share. It's not worth whining about.
29. Forget the nonsense about not going to bed angry. Get some sleep. Chances are things will look different in the morning.
30. There's no end to how much you can love someone if you let yourself.
31. Accept apologies graciously.
32. Being happily married is not the same as living happily ever after.
33. There are no guaranteed divorce-proofing moves. All any of us can do is be a husband or wife our spouse would be foolish to leave.
34. Don't kid yourself into thinking you have all the time in the world.
35. "In love" pales in comparison to love.

Wednesday, December 25, 2013

Merry Christmas to all!

For those of you celebrating this beautiful holiday, Merry Christmas.  I hope you are with loved ones and feel the warmth, joy and hope this day signifies.

Here are my lovely grand parents, who have been married for 66 amazing years.  My grandmother always explains to anyone who will listen that they've 'NEVER had an argument' in her Bostonian accent.  It's adorable.  My grand father just smirks in response, because he knows, as do the rest of us, they never argued because he lovingly went along with whatever she wanted. 

This Christmas, my grand mother is in the hospital not doing as great as we would like. She's still with us, after almost 95 years, and for that, we are blessed.  Watching her fight to stay with us, despite the many obstacles that have come in her path, is nothing short of inspiring to watch. 

Stay strong, friends.  As strong as my Nene.
 

Saturday, December 21, 2013

Glass Ceiling

My dad is a man's man who never wanted to admit there was a problem with the glass ceiling.  Until I started working with him, he didn't consider what it would be like if he was a woman.  Over time, and a series of talks where he would ask me questions and I would answer and challenge his opinions.  Now, at 65, I know my dad is quite a bit more open to my perspective.
 
In the work place, I was seen as bitchy and pushy, whereas men making the same requests would be seen as assertive.  It was never fair, but I learned how to work around it.  This advertisement is a reminder of the very real differences our society sees between men and women.    
 

Friday, December 20, 2013

End of life

A few days after thanksgiving my grandmother fell and broke her hip and her wrist.  She's almost 95 and we're into winter, which is not a good sign.  It's hard to wait and see what happens.  We thought we were going to lose her in the days after her fall, but as the true trooper she is, she's pushing through.  She's holding on, and NOT letting go.  The doctors are surprised she's held off as long as she has, now that it's 20 days later. 

Going through this process has introduced me to the challenges that people go through at the end of their lives. 

I read this article, and immediately thought of watching my helpless grandmother in the ICU.  All I wanted is for her to be at peace, and without all of those IVs going into her (there must have been 14 bags hanging around her that first day).  It was scary to see, so I'm certain it was scary for her to experience. 

"We are not helping these people by providing intensive care. Instead, we are turning their bodies into grotesque containers, and reducing their lives to a set of numbers monitoring input and output, lab values and vital signs, which we tweak to keep within normal ranges by adjusting our treatments, during the weeks and days immediately preceding their death. This is the opposite of what should be prioritized when a person is known to be nearing the end of their life without the hope of getting well."

Thursday, December 19, 2013

Men don't understand

Although my husband and I were trying to get pregnant, we were both surprised, excited, weirded out all at the same time.  He was distracted when I told him, on his way out the door to a job interview.  His response to me was a curt, "good job."  It wasn't close to the response I wanted, but he was more enthusiastic a few hours later when he got back home. 

I felt compassion from N when I had a rough bout of morning sickness one night during my 7th week.  In what felt like an immediate moment in time, I was forced to run to the bathroom to throw up three times in a row.  That was the only time I threw up, but it served the purpose to showing N that this whole pregnancy was real, serious, and shouldn't be taken lightly. 

I haven't yet gone through labor, but it's safe to say I'm already pretty freaked out by the prospect.  I know that I'll get through it, because I have to and millions of other women have before me. Men, on the other hand, never have, and never will.  The whole process isn't fair given everything in our lives changes, and nothing in their life does. 

Today I saw this, and felt vilified. 

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Strength from within

Most of the time I hate watching the news.  I only like to see the human interest stories.  In fact, love is more apt.  I love to watch the good things that can happen to people after they have experienced strife.  It gives me hope.

Reading this story about two brothers in Boston reminds me of how much I had growing up.  These boys not only survived amidst enormous challenges, they thrived.  I'm inspired by their courage and their fortitude.  I wish I could give them a fist pump and buy that one kid a north face jacket so he can fit in a little bit like the rest of the kids. 

It reminds me of what I read today about helping others.  " "Carry each others burdens, and in doing so, you fulfill the will of Christ in you." Gal. 6:2. Friends, let me ask you today, whose burdens are your carrying? Who are you encouraging and lifting up? Who are you helping to be all that God has created them to be? Friends, God wants us to lift the fallen, care for those in need. Who knows, you might be the only Bible someone might see today. Understand that when you go out each day not only focusing on where you want to be, but helping others get to where they need to be, remember me telling you that you are fulfilling the will of Christ in you."-Fr. Nicholas Louh
 

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Baby Fear

When I think about having a baby, this video captures what I think it will probably be like.  I'm fairly certain my husband is certain that it will be sunshine and butterflies.  I try to prepare him he's in for a rude awakening.  But we'll just have to wait and see.  Maybe our baby will be perfect. 

Monday, December 16, 2013

Time to let yourself embrace the season

I love Christmas, and the joy it brings people.  This made me smile.
 

Thursday, December 12, 2013

How do you plan for raising little girls?

We don't yet know if we are having a boy or a girl, although I can't help but think it's a girl.  If it is a girl, I'm worried already about how I'm going to raise her not to have body image issues.  I don't know anyone that doesn't have them. 

I read this and thought it was good advice to recall for the future:

1) There Will Be A Time When She Will Ask You “Am I Pretty?”

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By Katie Makkai

2) Remember Girls Don’t Just Simply Decide To Hate Their Bodies, We Teach Them To

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3) We Raise Our Girls To View Their Bodies As Projects To Be Constantly Improved

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By Caroline Heldman the Sexy Lie

4) Don’t Let Her Think Like This

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By Moonlight-path

5) It Starts With You

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By smittenby
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Jada

6) But We Know That Is Easier Said Than Done…

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If you know the origin of this meme let us know so that we can credit.

7)Remember… The Pressure To Be Perfect Is Purely For Profit

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Via Wang
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8) And Its Impact Is Very Toxic

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Via FamQuotes
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8) Sooo… Less Diets And More Riots

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By Crabby Girl
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By Canada’s National Eating Disorder Information Centre

 9) And Be A Badass Like These Three Rockstars:

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Via TheMetaPicture

9) Now Seriously…You Are Soooo Much More Than A Number

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Via Favim.com
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10) You Are Wonderfully Unique And Awesome Shaped

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By satvikshop.com

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By Now Foundation

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Via pyxifit

10) Focus On Health And Function Not On Weight And Shape. These Are Different Things

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By Go Kaleo

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11) And Remember Never To Talk About Other People’s Bodies And Appearance. In Particular In Front Of  Your Daughter

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Via Need to Know
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12) Tell Your Little Girl That This Is The Essence Of Beauty:

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Via hula-hips, quote by Steve Maraboli
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Via ThingsWeSay (source of text unknown)

13) Tell Your Little Girl That Every Girl Is Beautiful In Her Own Way


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By Camille

NYC Girls Project
By NYC Girls Project

14) And If You Are Still Not Smiling After All This Body Love… Well… Here You Go :D

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If you know the origin of this meme let us know so that we can credit.
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By Gr8 ppl, Gr8 Thoughts

15) Check Out Our Collection Of Body Positive Books for Girls And Women here

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Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Big News which leaves me bursting with joy

Have you ever had something so big and so exciting going on, that you can't think about anything else?  I have.  I've had this secret I've wanted to shout out about from the rooftops.  But I had to wait.

We have a baby on the way!  It still feels too good to be true, still, and I've had a few months to get used to the idea.  As soon as I found out about the baby, I was shocked.  Although we had been trying, I didn't think our timing was right that month.  I was also sad. I know how hard it is for so many other people to make their baby dreams come true, so my ease in getting pregnant seemed unfair in comparison. 

I wish that good didn't also come with bad, but that is the reality of our world, I have learned.  I absolutely don't want to look a gift horse in the mouth, so for now, I will say thank you to God.  Thank you for our very special blessing. 

 

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

How to locate your next friend

Finding common ground amongst a stranger is the easiest way to make a new friend.  Check out the video below which perfectly illustrates this fact. 



Friday, November 8, 2013

Love thy neighbor ... no matter what

This story proves that people are amazing.  This man let a stranger lean on him in his time of need.  I am so touched. 
Even more impressive, another rider "asked the man if he wanted [them] to wake the kid up, but he shook his head and responded, 'He must have had a long day, let him sleep. We've all been there, right?'"

sleeper

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Make someone's dreams come true

When the community sees an opportunity to make the world a brighter and happier place for a sick little boy, my heart sings.  Check this story out about how the city of San Fransisco is going to turn itself into Gotham.  As in Batman's Gotham.  The city is going to let this little boy feel like he's Batman himself. 

"On November 15, the Bay Area Make-A-Wish Foundation is turning San Francisco into Gotham City, and when trouble strikes that morning, the city’s police chief will call upon Miles -- aka Batkid -- to leap into action for a day of noble crime-fighting around town.
His first act of duty will be rescuing a damsel in distress from the cable car tracks in Nob Hill, followed by arresting the Puzzler for robbing a downtown vault. Miles will then refuel at Burger Bar directly above Union Square, but mid-lunch, he’ll get a call from the police chief directing him to look out the window. He’ll see a group of volunteers crying out for his help to save San Francisco Giants mascot, Lou Seal, who’s been kidnapped by Mr. Penguin in a convertible getaway car.
In a wild chase, Miles will free Lou Seal at AT&T Park and head to City Hall, where Mayor Ed Lee will thank him for his heroism and hand him the key to the city. Hundreds of adoring San Franciscans will be there to cheer -- and most likely hold back tears."

Monday, November 4, 2013

What is "normal" ?

This video proves that "normal" is in the eyes of a beholder, so to speak.  Watch it. 

 

Sunday, November 3, 2013

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Middle School sucks the life out of you

Poor Lisa Kudrow revealed she had a nose people because the mean kids at her junior high teased her and harassed her incessantly. 

I feel for you, girl.  Middle School sucks.  But look at you know!

Lisa's confidence was in tatters

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Who's got an eye?

People are opinionated.  We all know that. But taste is in the eye of the beholder.  Check out this artists work here:

Don't forget to leave your stereotypes behind. 

Give it some nelly: And this is the finished piece, flowers and all

Saturday, October 19, 2013

How do you talk to old folks

I found this video very hard to watch.  It felt awkward.  It felt forced.  But I think it was something I needed to watch about old folks and the importance of communication with them. 

 

Friday, October 18, 2013

Lifetime of Love

This is the inspiration I needed to see how much work it takes to keep a marriage going for the long haul.  My parents have said the main reason why they are together, and why their marriage is as strong as it is, is because God is at the center of their marriage.  They put their faith that He would take them through the bad times as well as the good. 

"Our marriage was like the ocean," Ralph explained. "I'm not trying to say big words, but you know how the ocean waves go up and down? At the bottom, God was there. And every time we hit bottom, God pushed us back up."

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Malala: Old person in little girl's body?

Is she an old person stuck in a 13 year old's body?  I mean, wow!  She is wise and patient.  She is full of love in the most impressive of ways.  Watch her now, and watch her as she changes the world.

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Erase the Stigma

This kid is right- if we wouldn't stigmatize depression and mental illness, more people would get help.  Mental illness is an illness.  Mostly, it's because your body's chemicals don't function as they should.  If you had a cold, wouldn't you try to get some medicine?  If you broke your leg, wouldn't you a cast? 

Help your friends, family and those around you by supporting them, not judging them.

 

Thursday, October 3, 2013

Why can't we all just get along - like these guys?

This is another great reminder from nature that two things that shouldn't work together, can.  Now, if only our politicians would keep that in mind, we'd all be far better off!



Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Create your own desitny

No one is going to invite you to make all your dreams come true. 

This woman is a hero.  She looked for a solution to a problem.  She didn't complain about the problem incessantly.  Muriel Steibert, the "First Lady of Wall Street" formed her own firm, when she realized there was no other way to earn the same amount of salary as her male counterparts.  Before she made the decision to branch off, she made 60% what men made.  While there is some income disparity between men and women, the gap is shrinking.  More woman go to college and professional schools.  There is still a way to go, but we need to use examples such as these to inspire us to move forward when faced with our own obstacles. 

I find that too often, people fixate on complaints.  That gets them no where.  Sure, in the moment it may feel better.  But then what?  Find a solution, or a series of small steps you need to take to position you for success.  Don't take no for an answer!
 

Sunday, September 29, 2013

Bullying

I'm pretty sure there were times when I went along with bullying, even if I wasn't leading the way.  In fact, I know it.  I remember I made fun of this girl's shoes in third grade.  To be honest, they aren't anything I would appreciate, even today.  They were blue felt like material with gold brocade on them.  I told this girl, (whom I soon thereafter became best friend's with) they were ugly.

Somehow, Dolly found out.  (Dolly is my mom).  She found out I made this girl cry.  She yelled at me!  She made me call the girl and apologize after school.  She made me realize how much of a B I was. 

Thank God she did! 

I didn't realize that you don't always have to say what you are thinking.  In fact, you shouldn't.  I also learned as I grew older that sticking up for the little guy, the defenseless, gave me far more pride, than laughing at someone else's supposed shortcomings. 

In college, when I should have known better, I got super angry.  This random guy was making fun of my friend.  Truth be told, I was inebriated;  I got so pissed, I punched him.  I'm not proud of my use of physical violence.  I point this out to exhibit how far I came- and I never would have gotten there if my mom hadn't steadied my course.   Thanks, Mom!

This poor girl wasn't so lucky.  People, especially kids, can be such D's.  Poor hairy Greek kid.  I wish she was at my elementary school and we could have laughed about how ridiculous being Greek is. 

Saturday, September 28, 2013

All we need is love

I'm not Catholic; I am an Orthodox Christian.  I am pleased to see who Pope Francis is.  As he shares his ideas, and takes action to spread love, understanding and kindness around the world, I am impressed.  I truly feel as though, he gets it.  He understands, and is willing to lead by example. 

The point of Christianity is love, and eternal salvation by attempting to be Christ-like.  That goes for all Christianity, despite the sect you follow. 

If we focus on what separates us, rather than what we agree on, we will never negotiate the chasm between us. 

 

Friday, September 27, 2013

Pay it forward, for those that can't any longer

I was terribly moved by the story of a kind hearted girl who is no longer with us, and the affect her life had on the world. 

Read here:

Friday, September 20, 2013

Why Honesty is the best policy

As I became older, I found that being myself, being authentic, felt better.  It came with challenges along the way, but I grew to like myself better.  I wasn't hiding from how I really felt.  I felt it freeing to be able to communicate and share with authenticity. 

This article popped up, and I immediately could relate. Here are the steps which note the "7 Things that happen when you are completely Honest"

1) People Will Stop Speaking to You
2) People Will Think You Are Going to Hurt Yourself
3) People Will Think You're Crazy
4) People Will Get Frightened
5) People Will Find You Entertaining
6) People Will Trust Your Advice
7) You Will Become Free
 

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Love vs. Infatuation

I found the title of this article jarring.  Then I read it, and couldn't help but relate.  I've only been married for four months.  But I already feel very differently about my husband than I did before we got married or even from when I met him almost four years ago.  A lot has changed. 

Infatuation is defined as:
in·fat·u·a·tion: [ in fàchoo áysh'n ]   1. temporary passion: an intense but short-lived and irrational passion for somebody or something

Love, as I know it now, is far different than I felt when I knew, that he was the one for me.  I know it will change even more over time.

As the article notes, "No, love isn’t an emotion or even a noun.  It’s a verb.  Better defined as giving.  As putting someone else’s needs above your own. Why wasn’t I getting reciprocal lovey-doveyness when we were first married?  Because it wasn’t for her.  It was for me.  An emotion I had in my chest. And even when I let it out of my chest, it wasn’t love.  Being sappy isn’t love.  Telling someone you love them doesn’t mean that you do. "

Monday, September 16, 2013

Another day, another tragedy

Today was a tragic day in Washington, DC.  I hate to focus on the evil violence.  I can't help but be sad about the tragedy.  Thirteen people including a gunman was killed today at the Washington Navy Yard.  It was a massacre.
I worked very close by for 12 years.  My company has done work at the site.  I have been there for a few meetings.  I have walked around that campus and around those city blocks.  I know someone who was there sheltering in place in the Medical Building.  My best friend's husband is a police officer who was thankfully not working there today. 

This awful turn of events reminds me of the Mr. Rogers quote:

“When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, 'Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping,'" Fred Rogers, Mister Rogers Parenting Book.

We can focus on the bad stuff or the good.  Like some colleagues helping their blind coworker escape today.  That is the good stuff. 

May God be with the families of the victims, and may their memory be eternal!

Sunday, September 15, 2013

If you are an American - you're an American

I got shivers and teared up by the end of this video. This is what patriotism is.  In my opinion, those people who defended the Muslim man, are what my country stands for.  It is why we are great.  It is how the United States became a super power in less than 150 years, and still are today. 
 

Saturday, September 14, 2013

How to turn hate into love

I don't use the word "hate" in my every day vernacular.  Hate is a very strong word.  In my mind, I equate "Hate" with wanting something, or someone, eradicated.  I use it so sparingly, when I do, I feel a twinge of pain when I use it. I can only think of one person that I actually hate, other than those who commit brutal crimes against humanity. 

Martin Luther King, Jr was an amazingly loving leader.  He said, "hate cannot drive out hate...only love can do that. Hate multiplies hate, and violence multiplies violence in a descending spiral of destruction… Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into a friend.”

MLK, Jr. makes it seem like a simple solution.  My life's goal is to turn my hate into love.  Hopefully, I will have a long life to work on that goal, because I am certain I will need the time to make it a reality. 

In my daily devotional, Father Luke Veronis speaks on this topic.
"To cultivate such divine love in our hearts doesn’t come easy. It demands a strong desire on our part, and a willingness to struggle with a disciplined effort. Our Lord Jesus Christ is ready to fill our hearts with this love, but He will never impose it upon us. He offers it freely, but we have to open up the door of our hearts and receive it. In order to open up our hearts, that means we have to break down the walls which hinder divine love – the obstacles of hatred, fear, insecurity, self-righteousness, arrogance, pride and self-centeredness. Breaking down these walls may be painful and scary. We often get used to the barriers we set up in our lives which hinder God’s love. Christ came to free us from these obstacles, however, and once the walls come tumbling down, He will fill us with His divine love!
 
Loving one another, forgiving one another, sacrificing for one another, and showing mercy and compassion to one another – these are the ultimate qualities of any authentic Orthodox Church and any true Orthodox Christian."
 
It's a long road, but I'm headed down it with the arsenal of God's love fulfilling me.  I love YOU, team.  Thanks for standing by my side on my journey. 

Friday, September 13, 2013

Just say it

How often do you say, "I love you?" To your family, or even your friends?  I used to be a bit more inhibited about sharing my feelings.  It made me feel far too exposed.  As I grew more confidant with age, I didn't care anymore.  I wanted to be bold.  It made me feel even more confidant if I was able to own my feelings and say them loud and proud.  These days, I tell my good friends I love them.  Proudly.  I tell my sisters and my parents.  I tell my husband.  Often and with sincerity.  You never know when it may be the last time. 

The below is a great example of why it is important to say "I love you." 
 

Thursday, September 12, 2013

Seeing your love with Fresh eyes

When I haven't seen N in a few days, it makes me appreciate him all over again.  Although I miss him when I am traveling for work, I think it helps our relationship a bit. 

However, I saw this video and couldn't help but think this is taking it to the next level.  Who wouldn't love to hear compliments like this from your husband?

 

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Never Forget

I'm overwhelmed by the remembrances of people today in honor 9/11.  No one forgets where they were that day.  I was a Senior in college.  I was dumbstruck and scared.  I was overwhelmed. 

Today, I honored the fallen and their memories, but watching the below two videos which capture the spirit of that day.  The experiences show what is great about our country.  About patriotism.  About lending a hand because you feel that is the right thing to do, not because you are told to.  Memory Eternal!
 



A Man's Man

My husband thinks he's getting a bit chubby.  To be honest, I can't tell the difference in how he looks unless he doesn't shave for five days, and in that case, I think he looks particularly attractive.  Especially when he chops wood, or breaks out his chain saw.  He can split wood like a lumber jack.

While reading this article, I couldn't help but relate.  I have always loved me a mountain man.  It was always something I was attracted to.  It appears as though I am not the only one. 

Husky guys are a  "rare breed betwixt normal weight and overweight: The husky man. Be he pale and doughy from a regular schedule of mainlining quesadillas and watching Pawn Stars, or simply genetically destined to be larger than the average male, I am on that shit faster than you can say “BMI index.” Were you teased as a kid for being chubby before you had your growth spurt and evened out? You're probably sensitive to people's feelings, and therefore a great boyfriend, and therefore panties = dropped. "
"....the major draw of the Husky is his personality. By definition, they’re laid-back, comforting, chill, drama-free, masculine, and don’t judge you when you eat a lot. In fact, they want an eating partner. That’s probably part of the reason they’re dating you in the first place."

Truth. 

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Mommy beauty

Now that I am done with planning my wedding, which was quite overwhelming and time consuming, I can't help but think of what's next.  For most people, that means babies.  I think it probably does for us as well, when the time comes. 

As a planner, that means I think about babies, and what it means to be a mom, more often than I would have ever before.  I think about the details.  I think about what it will be like to give birth.  I think about what will happen with my body.  I think about how I won't be able to be as selfish with my resources as I am now.  It's a lot to think about. 

I read an article a few days ago about the torture women's bodies go through with pregnancy.  One photographer has decided to take photos of the carnage, to show the beauty within the wreck.  The beauty is the babies.  Look how joyful and loving they are. 

Check this out:  Article   (Jade Beall photos)

 

Is binge eating related to mental disorder?

I'm not terribly sure if I suffer from binge eating.  I know I like to eat certain things.  I think I seek a certain feeling when I eat sometimes.  I think that it can be related to my emotions.  I'm still working it all out, but found this article interesting.

Scientists are doing research on binge eating and electro -shock therapy.  It seemed to help some fatty mice who were part of the study.

How much you want to guess that this is the next new diet trend?

Read Here: 

"Although problems with binge eating affect many people, there aren’t really any good treatments for those that suffer. Binge eaters might go to therapy or a weight-loss program; they might take antidepressants. But, these things don’t work especially well for those seeking help. Many scientists have wondered if there could be real differences in the reward centers of the brain in those who have trouble with binging.

So, scientists have tried deep brain stimulation — yep, that’s shocking the inner-brain — in mice to help curb binge eating. And, weird as it may sound, it worked!"

Monday, September 9, 2013

Adult Bullying

Watch this.  Then, tell me what you think.  It does come down to bullying.  Whose job is it to be the arbiter of noting the obvious.  Does this woman need to be reminded of her weight issues?  No.  She doesn't.  She knows!  
She is brave.  Very brave. 
 

Saturday, September 7, 2013

Be Kind! That's an order

If I said it once, I don't care if I say it again, be nice to people.  No matter what. 

If someone doesn't hold the door open, don't embrace that person's anger, take it and let it die by giving love to the person behind you.  Hold the door open for them.  With a smile.

Don't let mean people break you.  It's not worth it.  The fact that they are mean or rude has nothing to do with you, almost always.  Don't internalize it.  Don't worry about what you did wrong.

Be kind.  Do the right thing.  Love a little.  What's the worst that could happen?
 

Friday, September 6, 2013

So Busy - I'm so busy

How often do you hear this excuse for anyone you know?

I'm too busy.  I'm so busy.  Sorry, I'm too busy.

It's kinda BS.  Big time. 

Read this article: here

Thursday, September 5, 2013

marriage is tough


It doesn't take a genius to figure out that marriage is tough.  Every where you look people talk about the divorce rate and cheating. They talk in hushed whispers about so and so's marriage that is ending for this or that reason. 

I heard from several people, including men, that "marriage is tough, but worth it" in the days leading up to my wedding.  Ain't that the truth! It was stating the obvious, but I found it interesting that men were telling me this morsel of insight, not just women. 

What I've learned so far in 3.5 months, is that every day is a choice.  Just the same as it was pre-marriage.  Only now, I have to decide if I'm going to be the best version of myself for my husband as well as for myself.  Am I going to give more, or  take more?  Am I going to hold my tongue, or let it go?  I choose N.  And when I do, I am almost far happier than electing to be more selfish.  If I feel I need something from him, I ask.  It's becoming more simple and easier. 

I saw a friend re-post someone else's post about marriage which triggered this post. see below:

"I've found myself in the middle of some conversations about marriage lately. Dean and I have clocked 17 years. Still at the starting gate in some ways, but in it long enough to have weathered some tornados and humbly grateful for the grace of God to have emerged on the other side intact. Thank you, dear God.

I've been in it long enough to find myself in attendance at weddings--in the part where the pastor makes mention of how marriage will be "hard--" and wanting to jump up from my seat and say, "The word, 'hard,' is best suited for a math problem. Tell them that marriage is so painful in places that it will make them want to run screaming in the other direction! They will want to leave! They will slam doors and throw things! They will just want the pain to stop. You know the scene in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom when that nasty witch doctor rips out the heart of that guy? Like that! Gruesome. Ugly. Like surgery with open eyes and no anesthetic. Excruciating. Lonely. Hopeless. This is what you're in for, people. Put it in your vows--you heard it here!" At which point, I would sit down and, no doubt, regret such an outburst as the awkwardness engulfed me and the bride and groom would sprint toward the back door.

 ......

For anyone out there looking for Mr./Miss Right: there is no perfect match for you--not in the way you know the word, "perfect." Tim Keller is right--"You always marry the wrong person." This is how God intended it. It's the only way marriage can be used as a refiner, a shaper, a chiseler of self...a holy and unique chance to cling to God as you find yourself dangling in the thin air of your own inadequacies.... If you married someone "perfect," you would have no need of God or the shaping process.
....
Marriage is a beast and a bounty. Those faint of heart need not apply. Because the work required is tremendous--but so is the reward.

Amen.
Leslie Beckham Douglass

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Guilty

I got my first blackberry in 2004, and have had a smart phone ever since.  It's hard to be disconnected, ever.  Being good at my job means being proactive, not reactive (unless I need to be). 

My friends gave me a lot of crap over the years because I wasn't focused on them.  I wasn't present.  I try to disconnect more.  I try not to immediately stare at my phone when it vibrates or dings.  Now, when they can't reach me readily they assume something is wrong.  Nope. 

This video is a good reminder of why I need to focus on being better about my goal of being present when

 

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Awkward Years

Want to see something awkward ?  Check out this link.  It reminds me of how awkward I felt from 4th -9th Grade.  I felt weird.  I felt like I didn't fit in.  I felt ugly.  I felt stupid.  I hated that I matured too early, and it showed.  People teased me.  I got made fun of for being chubby a few times by boys.  One time, a kid called me "Free Willy."  Like the whale.  Honestly, I wasn't THAT chubby. But it still stings. 

People talk about bullying these days often.  I can't help but wonder if it will ever go away.  People can be mean-spirited.  Which means kids learn it from somewhere.  They learn it from us, the adults that shape them.  Be a leader.  Be kind.  See the beauty that exists in the world and focus on that. 

 

Monday, September 2, 2013

You think you had a bad day?

I'm reminded of my selfishness and lack of perspective when I check out people like Adrianne Haslet-Davis.  She is a professional dance instructor who lost a limb in the Boston Bombings back in April.   She's 32, like me.  Check out the video. Check out how pragmatic and upbeat she is despite her loss.

Hero.

As the linked article notes, "New mantra: If Adrianne can overcome the loss of her foot, if Britney can get through 2007, then by golly, I can _____ ____ ______ ___!!!!!!! (Fill in your own blanks here.)"  
I am totally with them on that one.  If she can do it, I wonder what I could accomplish on my darkest day?

Sunday, September 1, 2013

Saturday, August 31, 2013


I have loved Anne of Green Gables for years. When I was a little girl, I would watch Anne of Green Gables on Public Television riveted for hours.  I wouldn't want to take my eyes away from the TV.  I couldn't wait to see what the courageous Anne would come up with next.  I loved how she was a great friend to her "bosom buddy" Diana.  I loved how she saved Diana's sisters life, who had the croup.  I loved how she got Marilla to fall in love with her, and softened her in the process.  I loved when Matthew got her a dress with "puffed sleeves." I love love loved when she stood up to Gilbert, and then went on to marry him.  I love me a happy ending. 

Anne taught me how to be more awesome.  I'm not the only one.  Every time Anne comes up in conversation, her fans are like a groupies and kindred spirits themselves. 

So it makes sense that I loved this list of 10 reasons why Anne is awesome. 
1: How to Read
“Have you read them all?” a friend recently asked. Yes. The eight Anne of Green Gables books; the three Emily books; Pat, The Story Girl, The Blue Castle. I have read them in trees and in airports and in my mother’s lap and in every bedroom I’ve called mine. My whole life, I have read L.M. Montgomery’s novels like scripture before sleep, opening to random pages to see what familiar phrases of comfort leap out at me. “Scope for imagination.” “Bosom friend.” I feel about Anne of Green Gables like Huck felt about rafts or Proust felt about madeleines or like Virginia Woolf felt about closing her bedroom door: escape, pleasure, self worth. Exquisite in both story and sentence, the Anne books built me as a reader, which is to say: they built me
2: How To Recognize A Love Story
I love a book with a rip-roaring plot but in these, my favorite books, there’s surprisingly little plot. In the beginning of the first volume, an orphan, Anne Shirley, is adopted by a lonely brother and sister, Matthew and Marilla Cuthbert, who live at Green Gables, a small Prince Edward Island farm. In the remaining chapters and volumes, Anne grows up; that’s all. There’s never a Voldemort to battle or a secret garden to find. Anne’s relationship to her clever hazel-eyed suitor Gilbert Blythe, in its deepening incarnations from rival to school chum to spouse, gives a loose narrative shape to each of the first six volumes. But Montgomery stages the Anne–Gilbert dynamic so that it is both deeply stirring and completely secondary. The central pleasure of the novels come from Anne’s picaresque adventures as she meets people — sometimes kind people (Matthew Cuthbert), quite often curmudgeonly antisocial people (Old Mrs. Barry), almost always Canadian people, regularly sad and damaged people (Marilla Cuthbert) — and teaches them to see the world differently. All of these characters, in their ways, fall in love with Anne. She helps them discover that they are not bereft of hope or humor but rather are, in Anne’s iconic phrase, “kindred spirits.” So rather than a single dramatic or romantic plotline, the novels’ many episodes work to reinforce, over and over again, the central lesson that healing human connection — which is to say, love — in many forms, is possible.
3: How To Do Magic
More invested in minutia than grand narratives, the Anne books are unusual in their storytelling pleasures. Many of the YA series I’m drawn to focus on the emotional experience of a young central character who learns that the world is more dramatic and magical than expected — think the hidden, escapist worlds of Harry Potter, The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe, or The Wizard of Oz. Under the mundane surface of life, these books promise, there is epic adventure awaiting a hero! But while Harry and Lucy and Dorothy offer heroism, they offer it only when the right contexts, and the right mentors, present themselves. Anne, however, has no Dumbledore or Aslan to initiate her into a larger understanding. Instead, Anne herself is the portal — the tornado, the wardrobe — who helps the characters around her understand that the “mundane” world, itself, was always already full of deep magic.
4: How To Do Things With Words
What the Anne books share with these other novels, though, is a sense that part of the world’s deep magic comes through language. Consider again the names “Marilla Cuthbert” and “Gilbert Blythe” — how perfect they are, how evocative; the strong acerbic consonants of “Cuthbert,” the just-this-side-of-believable romantic breeziness of “Blythe.” Let’s not even get started on “Ruby Gillis” or “Charlie Sloane” or “Windy Poplars.” But it’s not simply the names the author gives that matter to Anne of Green Gables. It’s those bestowed by characters, too. Harry Potter receives a vocabulary lesson (“muggles,” “Hogwarts”) before he gets his owl and wand; in the Anne books, readers know that Anne herself is the bearer of magic because of her tremendous ability to name. Anne of Green Gables is like a rural Canadian book of Genesis with Anne as a more enthusiastic Adam, naming to connect rather than command. “Oh, I like things to have handles even if they are only geraniums,” Anne explains to Marilla. “It makes them seem more like people.” Naming and narrating, in all Montgomery’s novels work as ways to extend the human and as ways to love.
5: How To Be Alone
These skills are all the more important to Anne because she has been deeply lonely. “What a starved, unloved life she had had, a life of drudgery and poverty and neglect; for Marilla was shrewd enough to read between the lines of Anne’s history and divine the truth.” Anne of Green Gables begins as Anne, for the first time in her 11 years, finds a real home. Montgomery is careful, though, not to sentimentalize Anne’s unhappy childhood. Its sadness is real but also normal. Many characters in Montgomery’s novels live with a profound sense of isolation. As a child, I was not unhappy, but I too felt isolated and different; I think lots of voracious readers do. And while I love escapist fantasies of being whisked away into an alternate universe, I’m so grateful to have learned from Anne the trick of using words to anchor myself to the land around me, to the everyday, and to other people.
6: How To Be Amused
Montgomery novels aren’t all isolation and earnest redemption. The Anne books are funny, deeply so, but the dry, warm humor can be difficult to pin down. Comedy lurks in repetition and diction and tacked-on clauses. Take, for example, our barbed first introduction to Marilla: “She looked like a woman of narrow experience and rigid conscience, which she was.” Or the titles of the first three chapters: “Mrs. Rachel Lynde is Surprised,” “Matthew Cuthbert is Surprised,” and then, inevitably, “Marilla Cuthbert is Surprised.” To me, those chapter titles are the soul of wit. What happens in this chapter? Oh! Another minor character experiences a minor emotion! It’s like what Dickens might have come up with if he’d grown up on a farm; Montgomery both mocks and savors the small scale of her novel’s rural scope. Montgomery also taught me the understated humor of using a slightly too long word (“dispatched”) or a strangely old-fashioned one (“personage”).
7: How To Be A Critic
Yet despite the humor and compassion, Anne, at times, has troubled me. In angry adolescent moments I was harsh in my criticisms of her, feeling betrayed by the discovery that the character I’d loved wasn’t someone I wanted to be. After all, Anne is smart but would rather be pretty; she worries too much about her red hair; her imagination never gets her anywhere but married. If you want to read a century-old series about rural Canadian girlhood, why not instead read Montgomery’s Emily of New Moon books? These feature a similarly imaginative girl with a stronger sense of irony and ambition. Emily, unlike Anne, takes gleefully little responsibility for reconciling with the small-minded people around her. In a world that already pressures us to be friendly at all costs, do we really need Anne’s example of relentless generosity? Realizing the gap between Anne and myself opened up a space for me, as a reader, to ask hard questions about even the books I cherish — and finally to move beyond these sorts of questions, realizing that expecting every character to be a role-model, a perfected version of myself, wasn’t the sort of feminist or reader I wanted to be.
8: How Feminism Is In The Details
So is Anne good for us? Is she a heroine who, in a familiar and too-easy formulation of women’s literature, “empowers”? Staging the question in this way makes it hard to see the rich drama of perspective the Anne books offer. What the novels have to say about life, and about womanhood, are very different than what the “feminine to the core” Anne might say herself. Narrative perspective, as much as plot or character, can shape a text’s social outlook. And through their lyrical prose, the Anne books offer up the daily experiences of rural women — baking a cake, hosting a tea, gossiping with a friend — as worthy subjects of our best language and closest attention. As such, they are profoundly feminist texts, even if they don’t comply with a standard narrative of “empowerment,” because they insist that the lived experience of women matters, across class and geography and age.
9: How To Be Queer
Moreover, if the youthful Anne is breathlessly fascinated with chivalric romance, the novels themselves celebrate a wide spectrum of belonging: belonging to ourselves, to our communities, to the land and the places that we are “of.” This sort of belonging goes beyond obligatory friendliness to a deeper ethical position. The novels tie the phrase “kindred spirits” to another key word: “queer.” “I felt that he was a kindred spirit as soon as ever I saw him,” Anne tells Marilla in her first use of the phrase, and Marilla replies, “You’re both queer enough, if that’s what you mean by kindred spirits.” My point is not that the Anne books anticipate our contemporary understanding of what the word queer might mean, but rather that they provide a vital reminder that the past had its own rich understandings of fluid and complex attachment. The world of Montgomery’s novels is far less attached to rigid ideas of family, it seems, than we are. Anne is “a queer girl,” as her “bosom friend” Diana describes her, because she believes in loving ties beyond blood and law — ties of the spirit, based on sensibility. She gets “queer funny aches” at the beauty around her; she loves her friends and her geranium and Gilbert Blythe. None of these loves are antithetical to each other; in the Anne books, you can have it all.
10: How To Have It All
My claim finally is not that the Anne books are the best novels, or even the best Montgomery novels. What I’m saying is that they are wonderful novels. More, I think the Anne books’ philosophy of broad inclusiveness offers not only a way of thinking about the world, but also a way of thinking about reading. It is unnecessary, they remind us, to feel that we must choose Anne or Emily, sincerity or snark, or even classic or contemporary YA. Attachment doesn’t work that way, and shouldn’t. When I talk about loving Anne with dear friends who also love Anne, we are not advocating particular novels so much as we are describing loving words, loving the past, loving names, loving Megan Follows, loving and being loved by your friends even when they don’t fully understand you, loving reading in the corner at a slumber party while everyone else watches TV, loving a long walk, loving, most of all, the ability to find a sense of place. What we are saying is that Anne was our wardrobe, our tornado — our portal to the capacity within ourselves to make the mundane world magical. “Dear old world,” Anne murmurs, in what is to me her most important moment, “You are very lovely, and I am glad to be alive in you.”

Friday, August 30, 2013

Courage from a Teen

This girl has courage.  Chutzpah!  And its for a great cause. 

And that old guy is beating up on her for standing her ground.  For having an opinion.  Which is nonsense.
 

Thursday, August 22, 2013

Another reason to be genuine

This woman is a hero.  Everyone thinks so, including me.  One of the reasons why, is because she wasn't afraid to share her truth. 

Sometimes we have life experiences that we would rather shut away forever.  The braver thing to do is to use those experiences to relate to other people when they need to know that everyone has challenges. 

Antoinette Tuff , YOU are awesome. 

When something stupid makes me giggle

I like the word "hootenanny."  It's not used enough, is it?  Whenever I hear it, it makes me want to giggle.  Maybe because the first part rhymes with "toot."  Clearly, there is a lot of maturity going on over on this end of the screen. 
"Scuttlebutt".  That is another good one.  /giggling/
-------------------------------
Hootenanny:  is a Scottish word meaning 'celebration' and / or 'party'

Scuttlebutt:  Gossip.  rumors about somebody's activities, often of an intimate and scandalous nature

Monday, August 5, 2013

Life is Beautiful

This morning I was out on the deck watching our boys (aka, our dogs) play in the yard.  Even though it's the middle of the summer there wasn't any humidity.  It was bright and clear.  I could hear the leaves rustling a little bit with the slight breeze.

I was already considering how beautiful the day was looking, and instantaneously, a little hummingbird flew into my line of sight.  It buzzed right over the flower box, and hovered.  Hummingbird fluttered around and moved closer to me and just stared back at me for a few seconds.  And then, he sprinted off like wild fire.
I was tickled pink.  That bird just made my day.  I'm glad I took a few moments out of my day to take a look at what is all around.

All I could think to myself as I smiled, "life is beautiful!"

It is.  It really is.

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Saying I'm sorry never gets old

I love me some feel-good stories.  They make my frowns turn upside down.  Check this out and there is some more via the link too:

1. This picture of Chicago Christians who showed up at a gay pride parade to apologize for homophobia in the Church.

This picture of Chicago Christians who showed up at a gay pride parade to apologize for homophobia in the Church.
(Michelle Gantner / Maladjusted Media

… and the reaction from the parade.

... and the reaction from the parade.

Monday, July 29, 2013

Friends Checking In

"KG.  how are you doing? I don't wanted to hear you being sad, it makes me sad.   You are the ray of sunshine for people. Well, obviously, it's OK to feel sad if you need to feel sad.  But I don't want you to feel sad."

This is a paraphrased VM left by a good friend a few days ago.  After I let my friends know (and anyone that reads my blog) that things have been challenging for me, they have been reaching out to support me.  I've had visitors, calls, texts, and emails.  I feel loved.  I love them.

I use this blog as a tool to sort through my feelings.  Most of the time, I have upbeat positive messages to relay to myself.  I do it as a reminder, so when the rough times come, I have something to toggle back to.  I didn't mean to be melodramatic last week.  Sometimes, I need to know that I am loved.  I need to hear it.  I hear you!  Thank you, thank you, thank you.




Tuesday, July 23, 2013

PMS - the myth, the reality

Guess what?  I can be a raging... not nice person a few days EVERY month.  I'm serious.  I know it's hard to believe, but if you cross me, on those few days, you are asking for trouble.

Men don't get it.  And how could they?  They don't understand that our bodies turn against us.  We can't control our mood, our body temperature, our need for chocolate (or whatever your go-to pms food is) our anger, our overall annoyances at those we love the most.  PMS is not for the faint of heart. 

So, why did some man elect to get involved in a discussion about feminine hygiene products?  Idiot.  He should have known this would lead to disaster. 

Check out the response below.  Those Brits sure know how to do sarcasm and wit better than most. Good for you, Maxipad Company.  Excellent work!

 

Monday, July 22, 2013

no mirrors - no appearances

I read this blog post about a woman who went on a mirror diet.  She just didn't look in a mirror for a long long long time.  A month.

Doesn't that kind of sound like a vacation from yourself, including your insecurities and fears?

Check it out here:

What she found:
"What I didn’t realize until I was unburdened from some of my self-imposed (and likely invented) expectations was exactly how much of my energy was going into appearingAppearing to be interested, appearing to be womanly, appearing to be a professional lady, appearing to be pretty. No wonder I'm exhausted." 

Sunday, July 21, 2013

Love Your Neighbor (Greek Style)

The Bible says to "love your neighbor."  Get it?  It isn't easy, and no one ever said it was. But we have to try. 
"The Greek language u
ses three words for love. It talks about eros. Eros is a sort of aesthetic love. It has come to us to be a sort of romantic love and it stands with all of its beauty. But when we speak of loving those who oppose us we’re not talking about eros

The Greek language talks about philia and this is a sort of reciprocal love between personal friends. This is a vital, valuable love. But when we talk of loving those who oppose you and those who seek to defeat you we are not talking about eros or philia

The Greek language comes out with another word and it is agape. Agape is understanding, creative, redemptive good will for all men. Biblical theologians would say it is the love of God working in the minds of men. It is an overflowing love which seeks nothing in return. And when you come to love on this level you begin to love men not because they are likeable, not because they do things that attract us, but because God loves them and here we love the person who does the evil deed while hating the deed that the person does. It is the type of love that stands at the center of the movement that we are trying to carry on in the Southland—agape."

Martin Luther King, Jr.

==========================================================
For further reading, there are at least five words for love in Greek.  It's a far more descriptive language than English. 

* Eros (ἔρως érōs) is passionate love, with sensual desire and longing. The Modern Greek word "erotas" means "(romantic) love". However, eros does not have to be sexual in nature. Eros can be interpreted as a love for someone whom you love more than the philia love of friendship. It can also apply to dating relationships as well as marriage. Plato refined his own definition. Although eros is initially felt for a person, with contemplation it becomes an appreciation of the beauty within that person, or even becomes appreciation of beauty itself. It should be noted Plato does not talk of physical attraction as a necessary part of love, hence the use of the word platonic to mean, "without physical attraction". Plato also said eros helps the soul recall knowledge of beauty, and contributes to an understanding of spiritual truth. Lovers and philosophers are all inspired to seek truth by eros. The most famous ancient work on the subject of eros is Plato's Symposium, which is a discussion among the students of Socrates on the nature of eros. 

* Philia (φιλία philía), means friendship in modern Greek, a dispassionate virtuous love, was a concept developed by Aristotle. It includes loyalty to friends, family, and community, and requires virtue, equality and familiarity. In ancient texts, philia denoted a general type of love, used for love between family, between friends, a desire or enjoyment of an activity, as well as between lovers. This is the only other word for "love" used in the ancient text of the New Testament besides agape, but even then it is used substantially less frequently. 

* Agapē (ἀγάπη agápē) means "love" in modern day Greek. The term s'agapo means "I love you" in Greek. The word "agapo" is the verb "I love". In Ancient Greek it often refers to a general affection rather than the attraction suggested by "eros"; agape is used in ancient texts to denote feelings for a good meal, one's children, and the feelings for a spouse. It can be described as the feeling of being content or holding one in high regard. The verb appears in the New Testament describing, amongst other things, the relationship between Jesus and the beloved disciple. In biblical literature, its meaning and usage is illustrated by self-sacrificing, giving love to all--both friend and enemy. It is used in Matthew 22:39, "Love your neighbour as yourself," and in John 15:12, "This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you," and in 1 John 4:8, "God is love." However, the word "agape" is not always used in the New Testament in a positive sense. II Timothy 4:10 uses the word in a negative sense. The Apostle Paul writes,"For Demas hath forsaken me, having loved (agapo) this present world...." Thus the word "agape" is not always used of a divine love or the love of God. Christian commentators have expanded the original Greek definition to encompass a total commitment or self-sacrificial love for the thing loved. Because of its frequency of use in the New Testament, Christian writers have developed a significant amount of theology based solely on the interpretation of this word. 

* Storge (στοργή storgē) means "affection" in modern Greek; it is natural affection, like that felt by parents for offspring. Rarely used in ancient works, and then almost exclusively as a descriptor of relationships within the family. 

* Thelema (θέλημα thélēma) means "desire" in modern Greek; it is the desire to do something, to be occupied, to be in prominence.

Friday, July 19, 2013

Lending a hand

I like helping other people.  I really do.  It makes me happy to help people, especially those I care for. Perhaps I enjoy the response I get from people when I do them a favor, and in that way, it is far more of a selfish act, than a truly selfless one.

Nonetheless, I had a fulfilling day helping a good friend out.  She had what was an overwhelming task at hand.  We tackled her organization project together and an hour or so later, we were done.  Bedrooms organized. Ready for guests.  She was thrilled and appreciated the help.

After, I wondered how much I knew I would get out of the project from the appreciation I would receive from the recipient? Did I do it because I knew that I would get accolades out of it?  How genuine was the favor?  If I'm being honest, I think that I hoped (deep down) that my friend would be happy, I would make her life easier, and even deeper down, that she would love me for it.

She loves me anyway.  I didn't have to do anything but I did it anyway, because I love her.

There you have it.  I did the favor anyway, not just for self-gratification.  I think that is the most important and primary take away.

Screw it all.  I'm going to help out people whenever and however I want.