You've probably seen this video by now, but seeing something hopeful amidst so much destruction and loss, is why these things happen. I'm certain of it.
The bad things happen to show us the HOPE that is STILL THERE.
Thursday, May 23, 2013
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
Think about living
Something cool and awesome from someone who is teaching those around him to live life to the fullest every single day. And now, he's teaching the world to as well. Our lives are short. They really are.
The next time you think about saying that spiteful thing that feels so great in the moment, or not holding that door open, or being mean spirited, or hateful- think about what would happen if that was the last thing that person remembered of you. That would suck.
Think before you act. Think about life. Memory Eternal, Zach!
The next time you think about saying that spiteful thing that feels so great in the moment, or not holding that door open, or being mean spirited, or hateful- think about what would happen if that was the last thing that person remembered of you. That would suck.
Think before you act. Think about life. Memory Eternal, Zach!
Monday, May 20, 2013
Freedom in Adulthood from the rat race
Watch what you worship. Part 2 of a speech I spoke about the other day about the boring reality of adulthood.
Here, David Foster Wallace continues to discuss freedom that you can have in adulthood, with (20:21 minute) attention, awareness and discipline. Moreover, to sacrifice for the people you love.
Here, David Foster Wallace continues to discuss freedom that you can have in adulthood, with (20:21 minute) attention, awareness and discipline. Moreover, to sacrifice for the people you love.
Saturday, May 18, 2013
The reality of adulthood
The most obvious realities in life are the hardest to understand....... what is life like day in, and day out? It's boring. This is truth. This is reality.
This is something I wish I knew a decade ago, but which I fully embrace in my own life today. I learned this lesson. There is something good to be found in each boring every day activity. It's there. But you have to look for it. Try to assume the best, not the worst. Trust that people's intentions are better, most often, than how you may receive their actions. Watch what happens. Last week, someone paid for my coffee in front of me in line at the Starbucks Why? I have no idea. But I paid it forward and paid for the car behind me in line. I felt like I won the lottery.
Like I said, there is good stuff all around us.
This is something I wish I knew a decade ago, but which I fully embrace in my own life today. I learned this lesson. There is something good to be found in each boring every day activity. It's there. But you have to look for it. Try to assume the best, not the worst. Trust that people's intentions are better, most often, than how you may receive their actions. Watch what happens. Last week, someone paid for my coffee in front of me in line at the Starbucks Why? I have no idea. But I paid it forward and paid for the car behind me in line. I felt like I won the lottery.
Like I said, there is good stuff all around us.
Friday, May 17, 2013
Make a slight change in your course.... now!
This is a great idea worth spreading, about folks in their 20's. I was just talking about this with my therapist today.... I am so thrilled that I am in my 30's now. My 20's were far too tumultuous, but thankfully, they brought me to where I am today. Which means, I really do like where I am now. I own whom I am. And I like myself better.
Take a particular look at minute 7:30 which discuses the crux of the issue which I have seen happen around me... if you put off living your life in your 20's, your 30's will be a hot mess. You can't experience everything you may want to, if you wait too long to get started.
From Meg Jay, herself:
1. Get yourself some "identity capital...do something!" minute 10:00.
2. The urban tribe is over rated. New things come from weak ties.
3. You can pick your family (and your friends). The time to start picking is now. Be intentional with love, and work; choose what you want, don't choose who wants you.
Take a particular look at minute 7:30 which discuses the crux of the issue which I have seen happen around me... if you put off living your life in your 20's, your 30's will be a hot mess. You can't experience everything you may want to, if you wait too long to get started.
From Meg Jay, herself:
1. Get yourself some "identity capital...do something!" minute 10:00.
2. The urban tribe is over rated. New things come from weak ties.
3. You can pick your family (and your friends). The time to start picking is now. Be intentional with love, and work; choose what you want, don't choose who wants you.
Thursday, May 16, 2013
2 days until I'm a married woman
It's pretty weird that I'm going to married in a few days. I've been thinking about what it would be like to be married since I was a kid. For most of my life, until I said yes to N, I never thought I'd find my person. It just seemed unattainable. Who would have ever thought that there would be a guy out there that would be the yin from my yang?
Definitely, not me. P, my best girl, had faith that I would find my person, as did my other best friends. They all sincerely believed that my guy would come. They kept up the faith for me, when I would slip up.
And he did. He's here. He's not going anywhere. I'm thrilled.
To be clear, N isn't the perfect person I was waiting for. He is the best person for me and makes me so very happy. I'm so excited I can barely sleep, eat, or focus on anything! Horrah for wedding day!
Feeling very very very blessed, kg
Definitely, not me. P, my best girl, had faith that I would find my person, as did my other best friends. They all sincerely believed that my guy would come. They kept up the faith for me, when I would slip up.
And he did. He's here. He's not going anywhere. I'm thrilled.
To be clear, N isn't the perfect person I was waiting for. He is the best person for me and makes me so very happy. I'm so excited I can barely sleep, eat, or focus on anything! Horrah for wedding day!
Feeling very very very blessed, kg
Thursday, May 9, 2013
Women Can't Have it All ...and that's ok
Now that I am (almost) married, I am embracing the fact that I can't do everything, and I can't have everything. That means, that something has to give. I can't be the best friend, daughter, employee, fiance/wife at the same time. There is not enough time in the day!
Listen to this woman, who has struggled with this professional and personal dilemma In particular, if you are a mom, you have to realize that you won't be able to do everything no matter what. You can't be the most present mom and the best employee. Anne-Marie Slaughter made the choice to give up a very high esteemed job with the government in order to go back to being closer to home and more present for her family.
I get it. I don't judge her. I probably would have done the same thing. Hell, I moved two hours South to a smaller city, away from my family and my career trajectory in order to make N happy and have a more care-free life style. That was my choice, and after three months, I can say honestly, it was the best one for us as we start our new life together.
Listen to this woman, who has struggled with this professional and personal dilemma In particular, if you are a mom, you have to realize that you won't be able to do everything no matter what. You can't be the most present mom and the best employee. Anne-Marie Slaughter made the choice to give up a very high esteemed job with the government in order to go back to being closer to home and more present for her family.
I get it. I don't judge her. I probably would have done the same thing. Hell, I moved two hours South to a smaller city, away from my family and my career trajectory in order to make N happy and have a more care-free life style. That was my choice, and after three months, I can say honestly, it was the best one for us as we start our new life together.
Wednesday, May 8, 2013
Give it up. Now.
Source: I didn't write this. I read it and thought you should too.
1. Give up your need to always be right. There are so many of us who can’t stand the idea of being wrong – wanting to always be right – even at the risk of ending great relationships or causing a great deal of stress and pain, for us and for others. It’s just not worth it. Whenever you feel the ‘urgent’ need to jump into a fight over who is right and who is wrong, ask yourself this question: “Would I rather be right, or would I rather be kind?”Wayne Dyer. What difference will that make? Is your ego really that big?
2. Give up your need for control. Be willing to give up your need to always control everything that happens to you and around you – situations, events, people, etc. Whether they are loved ones, coworkers, or just strangers you meet on the street – just allow them to be. Allow everything and everyone to be just as they are and you will see how much better will that make you feel.
“By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond winning.” Lao Tzu
3. Give up on blame. Give up on your need to blame others for what you have or don’t have, for what you feel or don’t feel. Stop giving your powers away and start taking responsibility for your life.
4. Give up your self-defeating self-talk. Oh my. How many people are hurting themselves because of their negative, polluted and repetitive self-defeating mindset? Don’t believe everything that your mind is telling you – especially if it’s negative and self-defeating. You are better than that.
“The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive.” Eckhart Tolle
5. Give up your limiting beliefs about what you can or cannot do, about what is possible or impossible. From now on, you are no longer going to allow your limiting beliefs to keep you stuck in the wrong place. Spread your wings and fly!
“A belief is not an idea held by the mind, it is an idea that holds the mind” Elly Roselle
6. Give up complaining. Give up your constant need to complain about those many, many, maaany things – people, situations, events that make you unhappy, sad and depressed. Nobody can make you unhappy, no situation can make you sad or miserable unless you allow it to. It’s not the situation that triggers those feelings in you, but how you choose to look at it. Never underestimate the power of positive thinking.
7. Give up the luxury of criticism. Give up your need to criticize things, events or people that are different than you. We are all different, yet we are all the same. We all want to be happy, we all want to love and be loved and we all want to be understood. We all want something, and something is wished by us all.
8. Give up your need to impress others. Stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not just to make others like you. It doesn’t work this way. The moment you stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not, the moment you take of all your masks, the moment you accept and embrace the real you, you will find people will be drawn to you, effortlessly.
9. Give up your resistance to change. Change is good. Change will help you move from A to B. Change will help you make improvements in your life and also the lives of those around you. Follow your bliss, embrace change – don’t resist it.
“Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls” Joseph Campbell
“Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls” Joseph Campbell
10. Give up labels. Stop labeling those things, people or events that you don’t understand as being weird or different and try opening your mind, little by little. Minds only work when open. “The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don’t know anything about.” Wayne Dyer
11. Give up on your fears. Fear is just an illusion, it doesn’t exist – you created it. It’s all in your mind. Correct the inside and the outside will fall into place.
“The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself.” Franklin D. Roosevelt
“The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself.” Franklin D. Roosevelt
12. Give up your excuses. Send them packing and tell them they’re fired. You no longer need them. A lot of times we limit ourselves because of the many excuses we use. Instead of growing and working on improving ourselves and our lives, we get stuck, lying to ourselves, using all kind of excuses – excuses that 99.9% of the time are not even real.
13. Give up the past. I know, I know. It’s hard. Especially when the past looks so much better than the present and the future looks so frightening, but you have to take into consideration the fact that the present moment is all you have and all you will ever have. The past you are now longing for – the past that you are now dreaming about – was ignored by you when it was present. Stop deluding yourself. Be present in everything you do and enjoy life. After all life is a journey not a destination. Have a clear vision for the future, prepare yourself, but always be present in the now.
14. Give up attachment. This is a concept that, for most of us is so hard to grasp and I have to tell you that it was for me too, (it still is) but it’s not something impossible. You get better and better at with time and practice. The moment you detach yourself from all things, (and that doesn’t mean you give up your love for them – because love and attachment have nothing to do with one another, attachment comes from a place of fear, while love… well, real love is pure, kind, and self less, where there is love there can’t be fear, and because of that, attachment and love cannot coexist) you become so peaceful, so tolerant, so kind, and so serene. You will get to a place where you will be able to understand all things without even trying. A state beyond words.
15. Give up living your life to other people’s expectations. Way too many people are living a life that is not theirs to live. They live their lives according to what others think is best for them, they live their lives according to what their parents think is best for them, to what their friends, their enemies and their teachers, their government and the media think is best for them. They ignore their inner voice, that inner calling. They are so busy with pleasing everybody, with living up to other people’s expectations, that they lose control over their lives. They forget what makes them happy, what they want, what they need….and eventually they forget about themselves. You have one life – this one right now – you must live it, own it, and especially don’t let other people’s opinions distract you from your path.
Tuesday, May 7, 2013
Happy Facts.... I dare you
See if this doesn't make you a bit happy....... (thank you buzzfeed)
And the voice of Mickey Mouse and the voice of Minnie Mouse got married in real life...
Wayne Allwine and Russi Taylor.
Image by Stephen Shugerman/Getty Images
10. A group of flamingos is called a flamboyance.
Image by Fernando Camino/Cover/Getty Images
17. A chemical called oxytocin is released when people cuddle, helping to heal physical wounds.
Source: Chrissy Wainwright/Creative Commons / via: wainwright
18. Cows have best friends.
According to scientists at Northampton University, cows have BFFs and are stressed out when away from them.
Monday, May 6, 2013
Give a little
There are so many ways to give.... in person, by donating funds or things you don't need anymore, and even your resources. There is even a way to give of your time when you are in need of a bit of a distraction.
Check this option out... you can just answer some easy questions, and you give grains of rice to people in need. Over 99 billion grains of riced have been donated!
This one: if you have some sort of skill sets, you can micro volunteer. Virtually. Ex: you can give your social media, branding, marketing skills to a non-profit that could use a hand.
How to get help for your organization: An Overview
Check this option out... you can just answer some easy questions, and you give grains of rice to people in need. Over 99 billion grains of riced have been donated!
This one: if you have some sort of skill sets, you can micro volunteer. Virtually. Ex: you can give your social media, branding, marketing skills to a non-profit that could use a hand.
How to get help for your organization: An Overview
I. Brand your Sparked Community instance so that it looks just like your website or intranet.
II. Invite your strategic communities; these are philanthropic or civic groups that your company has an interest in supporting.
III. Onboard your employees and launch.
Saturday, May 4, 2013
Someone I know Died tonight
Death is sad no matter who it is, how old they are, if you liked the person, or didn't. It's just sad. It's the most sad for those of us still left in this place we live in, where people can be purposefully hateful, mean, rude or cruel.
A girl I know passed away. She's just 33. She has(d) beautiful bright sparkling blue eyes. Blond hair. Pretty. Super smart and accomplished. Greek-American! Excellent family. She was healthy and in great shape. Her brother is N's good friend, which is how we met. To see her you wouldn't have noticed that there was something scary going on inside of her. I know more of her and her struggle with this incurable illness through her brother and his girlfriend. They agonized over her illness and did everything they could to support her, love her and keep the faith for her.
Her big brother gave her his bone marrow, no questions asked. He wasn't even a 100% match, but they said that it may help, so he did it. She was in the best hospital in our country with the best doctors. They couldn't save her. They couldn't even figure out what to do to help her.
Her mother never left her side. I'm serious. Never. Left. Her. Side. That woman is amazing. I only visited Catherine twice in the hospital, but each time I watched the mom trying to do anything she could around the room to keep herself busy. I think she was trying to not look as scared and upset as she was. Both times I visited, Catherine and her mom asked about my upcoming wedding. I made them laugh about funny little shenanigans that were happening with the plans. We talked about finding Catherine a nice Greek boy once she was all better. She was trying to learn Greek while she was in the hospital as a distraction. We laughed about how awful both of us were with the language. We agreed that appreciating our culture was better late than never.
I so very much hoped that I would get to know her even better when she got healthy. N and I asked her to come to the wedding if she was having a good day, and it seemed like that may have been a possibility back in late February when we asked her. Just last week I sent her a card. I had sent a few over the past few months because I figured getting something through snail mail may be at least a little break from a boring day. At first I thought to myself, "what do I write to a girl I barely know?" But then I realized, it didn't matter. She could be any one of my friends. She could be anyone I know. She is a person who needs love and joy. So I wrote to Catherine some words of encouragement and faith.
She had faith. She was tough. She was courageous. She knew something bad could happen. But she pushed. As a side note, I also talked with her about insurance companies who were trying to refuse coverage for her medical care, which sickens me. She was too smart for them. They were trying to screw her over and she pushed back.
Catherine will never get her beautiful wedding she and her mother joked about with me. Which isn't fair. She won't have children. She won't have a husband who loves her implicitly. She won't get to see her big brother get married in a few years to my friend. She won't ever be as good a friend of mine as I hoped she would be. It's all not fair.
This decline of her's started in December, as an effort to once and for all cure her. Now it's May 3rd. The last six months of her life were in a hospital where she fought to find a way to live a better life, with out pain. The only way she found painlessness was through passing into the other place. That is the only silver lining I can see in this awful turn of events. Catherine is free from pain. Her family doesn't have to see her in pain. It's still not fair.
My best friend P asked me yesterday how I reconcile a situation like this- where God lets someone pass away who is a good person? It's back to the old predicament I have struggled with: Why to good things happen to bad people and bad things happen to good people? It's not fair. Life is not fair. God never promised that life would be fair. He never promised anyone wealth, health, or answered prayers, if you believe in Him. He only promised His love and eternal paradise in His Kingdom.
Which means that the bad things will happen to all of us at some point. But the good things will too. You have to keep your eyes and ears opened, because they may not be what you expect they will be. God's answer to your prayer may be different than what you expected. A good thing that may happen to you in the long term which may seem like a bad thing in the short term. Every single thing that happens in our lives is an opportunity to place our faith in God, that through Him, everything will be OK. The good and the bad. The awfully unfair things, too. Like Catherine passing away.
I don't understand it now, but there is a plan. I may never know anything about this plan, but what I do know is that I can love Catherine's family for her from here. I can give them a big hug when I see them. I can remember how awesome she was with them. I can pray that she is painless and free and happy!
God be with you, dear Catherine. I hope you are running marathons in the bright warm sun and living it up on that long long vacation you deserved. Say hi to my friend Ellen. Say hi to my Grandmother and Grandfather. Say hi to my puppy Coco. Say hi to my Thea Kay.... she'll crack you up. Ellen will too. May your memory be eternal!
A girl I know passed away. She's just 33. She has(d) beautiful bright sparkling blue eyes. Blond hair. Pretty. Super smart and accomplished. Greek-American! Excellent family. She was healthy and in great shape. Her brother is N's good friend, which is how we met. To see her you wouldn't have noticed that there was something scary going on inside of her. I know more of her and her struggle with this incurable illness through her brother and his girlfriend. They agonized over her illness and did everything they could to support her, love her and keep the faith for her.
Her big brother gave her his bone marrow, no questions asked. He wasn't even a 100% match, but they said that it may help, so he did it. She was in the best hospital in our country with the best doctors. They couldn't save her. They couldn't even figure out what to do to help her.
Her mother never left her side. I'm serious. Never. Left. Her. Side. That woman is amazing. I only visited Catherine twice in the hospital, but each time I watched the mom trying to do anything she could around the room to keep herself busy. I think she was trying to not look as scared and upset as she was. Both times I visited, Catherine and her mom asked about my upcoming wedding. I made them laugh about funny little shenanigans that were happening with the plans. We talked about finding Catherine a nice Greek boy once she was all better. She was trying to learn Greek while she was in the hospital as a distraction. We laughed about how awful both of us were with the language. We agreed that appreciating our culture was better late than never.
I so very much hoped that I would get to know her even better when she got healthy. N and I asked her to come to the wedding if she was having a good day, and it seemed like that may have been a possibility back in late February when we asked her. Just last week I sent her a card. I had sent a few over the past few months because I figured getting something through snail mail may be at least a little break from a boring day. At first I thought to myself, "what do I write to a girl I barely know?" But then I realized, it didn't matter. She could be any one of my friends. She could be anyone I know. She is a person who needs love and joy. So I wrote to Catherine some words of encouragement and faith.
She had faith. She was tough. She was courageous. She knew something bad could happen. But she pushed. As a side note, I also talked with her about insurance companies who were trying to refuse coverage for her medical care, which sickens me. She was too smart for them. They were trying to screw her over and she pushed back.
Catherine will never get her beautiful wedding she and her mother joked about with me. Which isn't fair. She won't have children. She won't have a husband who loves her implicitly. She won't get to see her big brother get married in a few years to my friend. She won't ever be as good a friend of mine as I hoped she would be. It's all not fair.
This decline of her's started in December, as an effort to once and for all cure her. Now it's May 3rd. The last six months of her life were in a hospital where she fought to find a way to live a better life, with out pain. The only way she found painlessness was through passing into the other place. That is the only silver lining I can see in this awful turn of events. Catherine is free from pain. Her family doesn't have to see her in pain. It's still not fair.
My best friend P asked me yesterday how I reconcile a situation like this- where God lets someone pass away who is a good person? It's back to the old predicament I have struggled with: Why to good things happen to bad people and bad things happen to good people? It's not fair. Life is not fair. God never promised that life would be fair. He never promised anyone wealth, health, or answered prayers, if you believe in Him. He only promised His love and eternal paradise in His Kingdom.
Which means that the bad things will happen to all of us at some point. But the good things will too. You have to keep your eyes and ears opened, because they may not be what you expect they will be. God's answer to your prayer may be different than what you expected. A good thing that may happen to you in the long term which may seem like a bad thing in the short term. Every single thing that happens in our lives is an opportunity to place our faith in God, that through Him, everything will be OK. The good and the bad. The awfully unfair things, too. Like Catherine passing away.
I don't understand it now, but there is a plan. I may never know anything about this plan, but what I do know is that I can love Catherine's family for her from here. I can give them a big hug when I see them. I can remember how awesome she was with them. I can pray that she is painless and free and happy!
God be with you, dear Catherine. I hope you are running marathons in the bright warm sun and living it up on that long long vacation you deserved. Say hi to my friend Ellen. Say hi to my Grandmother and Grandfather. Say hi to my puppy Coco. Say hi to my Thea Kay.... she'll crack you up. Ellen will too. May your memory be eternal!
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