N didn't propose to me in a formal way with a huge surprise. There were almost no surprises surrounding the event. Nine days after we had our first date (after a 1.5 year break- its a long story), we knew. Well, I knew what he had known for two years. We were perfect for each other and were getting married.
It was out of left field to be sure. I'm pretty certain quite a few people in my life thought my behavior was erratic.
I found a ring I liked. He purchased it and had it sized. We already knew we wanted to be married so the official ring-on-my-finger engagement was a foregone conclusion.
I can't tell you how many people gave me funny looks when I said, "we're getting married!" with excitement and happiness. They'd say, "uh, where's your ring? Did he get down on a knee and ask you OFFICIALLY?" I felt deflated. And then I got frustrated. Why does my path have to be exactly like other folks? I felt like people were inferring that our engagement wasn't real or legitimate. Perhaps they thought N wasn't actually interested in marrying me, and the only confirmation of his intention would be after an expensive ring was on my finger.
Other people's expectations about how rituals and customs should proceed are applicable some times but not all. I had people say to me, 'but don't you want to be surprised by the official proposal?!" Nope. I didn't. I didn't need to be. I just wanted to marry him. That day. Immediately.
My response then (and still now) is that discovering N is the love of my life is the best and biggest surprise I'll ever have. That is all I need. Anything else is icing on the cake.
N teases me regularly about how he tricked me into falling for him. He'll say, "Love you......sucker! "
And he's right. I'm a sucker for him. Hook. Line. Sinker.
