I lost my temper today. It was pretty bad. I was baited, and then I did some baiting. It was an absolute moment of weakness on my part. No situation ever warrants losing your cool. In the end, you'll be left with regret- at least I am.
The reason I lost my temper is meaningless. I felt justified in the moment. I was at work, and I asked someone to do something nominal and he went from 0 to 60 in ten seconds. This is the type of person that always is right. Always. It never matters what the other person is saying.
Mind you, he works under me. Further, we both work under my father. Have I told you I work for my Pops? I do. I have for over ten years.
In that time, I have learned a lot. I mostly learned what not to do. I've learned how to be clear in order to get the desired results I seek. I've learned to take a few risks. I've also learned to watch my father's back. That's really what I see myself doing every day. I make sure no one is trying to screw him over- or I try to. Sometimes I'm more successful than others.
I always got the feeling this person was using my dad. He was telling Pops what he wanted to hear in order to get ahead, or worse, get what he wanted. Over time, I grew to distrust him so when he snapped at me today, I snapped back big time.
Pops has been calling me a pit bull for a decade- he proudly tells people that have never met me before that I have similar character traits to a pit bull. He warns them to never cross me. Today, he was right. I had enough and I attacked. I felt, in the moment, that I was finally able to defend my dad against this idiot. In the process I'm certain I embarrassed Pops, instead.
Pops doesn't need my help, I'm certain. I've noticed though, it's a funny thing.... getting older. You start taking care of your parents more. Being a care taker is part of the role you play as a grown child. Our parents have done enough already, haven't they?
Then again, I still need Pops. Maybe one of these days I'll learn from him how to not go all rage KaGe annually. After this incident he calmly told me to "use this as a learning experience and move one." That was all he needed to say.
I'm still learning.
