Thursday, December 22, 2011

Smoke signals

When I was growing up- and really until a few years ago I believed that solving my problems on my own was the brave and adult thing to do. I believed that sharing my problems was the equivalent of a grave weakness and unacceptable. I didn't think it was appropriate to burden anyone, much less friends or family with my baggage. My pride kept me from what I needed the most which meant I was left alone and ultimately in silent torture for far too long.

 It's taken me about six years of concerted effort to open up. To learn to lean on people and trust that they would be there for me and that they sincerely love me. That being said, recently when I had a confusing few days that left me out of sorts I didn't pretend everything was ok. I shared. I asked for an ear. I sent out the smoke signal. And what I received back was something short of out of this world and quite frankly far better than I could have hoped.

I woke up a particular morning a few weeks ago with two emails and a text of support and encouragement (one was from halfway across the world). These besties love me and care about me. And that gives me the courage to keep persevering. I need to allow myself to believe that and let myself lean on them. I'm more than happy to return the favor.

Don't forget to ask for what you need. If you never get your needs fulfilled it's probably because you needed to verbalize the request to the appropriate person that could grant you the fulfillment of that request.