Feel Good Story

I love me some Olympics.  Love. Them.

Check out this feel-good story of someone taking tragedy, and turning into success.

What is a mom?

A mom can be more than someone that gave birth to you.

Check out this picture of inspiration- two moms, coming together to raise an Olympian.

Happy Olympics everyone!

Swearing

I admit it.  I swear.  A lot.  It's almost impossible to stop myself. Most of the time, (ok, all of the time), it's unnecessary.

Perhaps it's not exactly my fault.  It's fair to say that swearing is all around me.  The more I hear it, the more I do it myself.

This article proves it.  Washington, DC, the city where I live is the NUMBER ONE city for swearing in the country.  Validation!

Then again, swearing makes us all look bad.  According to the article,
 " Eighty-one percent of managers say excessive cursing makes people seem immature or unprofessional. About 71 percent worry about lack of control, and 54 percent say it makes the employee appear less intelligent."

Perfect Mate

"I know of no other way to perfection but love."
— St. Therese Of Lisieux

what I was looking for, and what I found, for the most part

I am the the type of person who aims toward perfection, but rarely achieves it.  The same is true with the love of my life.  


I planned for someone that I thought would be my person. I even kept a running list while I was looking for the right one.  The list was modified and grew over the years. 


People would tell me that I was being too picky and that I should modify my expectations or I'd never get married.  They were partially right.  The reality is N is everything I was looking for.  He's just not at 100% with every item on the list - then again, neither am I.   


That's the thing.  When I first met him, all I could think about was how it would never work out between us because of these very specific flaws.  Even though on paper, for the most part, he seemed perfect.  Overtime, I came to a place where all I could think about was how great he was, "warts and all" (that's a quote from Bridget Jones' Diary that I love).  He may not be perfect, but he's certainly perfect for me :)  Thank God I was wrong. 

If you can ....

If

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too:
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream---and not make dreams your master;
If you can think---and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same:.
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build'em up with worn-out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings,
And never breathe a word about your loss:
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings---nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much:
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And---which is more---you'll be a Man, my son! 

Rudyard Kipling

Kill them with Kindness

I think most things in life work better when you handle them with patience and kindness.

On the other hand, I just had a conversation with N to which he said, "kindness kills!"  He's more of a negative nancy than I am, and I couldn't help but laugh. But I get it.  Sometimes, life gets frustrating and it seems like there is no reason why we should be nice.

But I think a tad bit of kindness gets you further than negative energy.  I'll stick with that.

Eulogy Writing

I remember reading "Tuesdays with Morrie" years ago.  From then on I couldn't help but wonder what people would say at my living memorial.  My ego gets the best of me, I admit it.  But who doesn't like to hear why people think you're awesome?  It's pretty good stuff, I think.

On the other hand, I also consider what I would say in a Eulogy.  I would tell people how much I loved them and why.  I would talk about my love of animals and desire to live life without regrets, no matter how big or small.  Other than that, its all "butta" as they say.  Nothing else that I've accomplished really matters to me at the end of the day.  My education and career achievements are there, but I don't think anyone really cares all that much about them.  I certainly don't want that to define how people remember me.  I hope they will remember me for being a good and loyal friend, someone that could always make them laugh and lend an ear.

Take a look at this guy who left a Eulogy that will forever go down as one of the funniest and heartfelt ones I've ever read.  At least he let people know who he really was- then again, maybe some of them didn't really want to know.

Nora Ephron's Widsom

From an article on (of all things) Fortune.com- Even the business world had something to learn from a RomCom screenwriter/director.  It just goes to show you that you never know where you'll find the next piece of advice.  Keep your options (and ears) open!

Here's what Nora wrote in 2009 when I asked her to tell us "The Best Advice I Ever Got.":

Never put tomatoes in the refrigerator.

Location, location, location.

Life is too short.

Never run for a bus.

Don't learn how to iron or someone will make you do it.

Don't eat anything that's not worth eating.

You know as much about investing your money as they do.

Yelling at your children is no more effective than speaking softly.

Marry a man who was unhappily married to his first wife for 17 years.

Get a dog.

Relief

PRESS RELEASE:  

Duke is ok!  I just spoke to the VET and he told me that they found no malignant cells in his test results, and that he probably has some scar tissue which explains the mass that I still feel in the area of note.

A special shout out to all my friends and family who were lovingly concerned about Duke and me.  Metro (Duke's step-brother, remains un-phased, and never realized anything was going on to begin with, as usual).  

I feel like I can breathe easier.  How did Duke trick me into falling in love with him?  I thought we had an arrangement.  We were supposed to be strictly friends.  No attachments. No love.  I guess I thought we'd be friends with benefits.  Not so much.  

Huzzah for Duke!

Big Mouth

Do you recall how yesterday I told you about poor Duke and his cancer scare?  

After his appointment I went over to my sister's house to drop something off.  She's never been a huge fan of animals (I have no idea how we share DNA sometimes), so she doesn't understand how emotionally connected you can be to them.  I told her about Duke and she did seem somewhat concerned.  However, her babysitter who is about 20 years old laughed.  She's fearful of dogs and her immediate reaction was to laugh about Duke's misfortune.  She clearly didn't understand how big a deal this fear is for someone like me.

I gave her a pointed look and told her that it was mean and not ok to laugh about Duke.  I told her he's like a a member of my family.  I also told her if she has problems with animals, that's her problem, not mine.  I was PISSED.  I was rude.  I was kinda harsh.

My sister called me the next day and said in passing that the babysitter felt bad she opened her mouth without thinking.  I don't really feel bad for opening my mouth.  Do you blame me?

Coulda Shoulda Woulda...

Duke (left) and Metro (right) helping me work from home

It's fair to say that I have a long lasting love affair going on with animals.  Big time.  Further, I got Duke when I was going through some rough times, and he always seemed to know how to distract me from my blues, or show me that he loved me and would never leave my side.  Sometimes, I think Duke thinks that it's his job to take care of me (which is really bad dog parenting as I'm supposed to be in charge at all times).

Anyway, you can imagine how awful I felt when I went to a routine vet appointment this past weekend and found that my boy had lost 10 lbs in 6 months, or 20% of his weight.    I immediately asked him what was going on and expected an answer back.

As I pet him, I immediately found a tennis ball sized growth on his neck.  I panicked.  N was with me (he's also a huge pet lover), and immediately went into KG support mode.  The vet checked Duke out and said it may be a reaction to an infection or maybe even.... cancer, which is my worst fear. I just heard about an acquaintance who had to put her 6 year old pit bull mix, Bella, down a few weeks ago because of a fast growing cancer. May she rest in peace!

After the doctor took the sample of the area, he found what appeared to be an infection as a result of an insect bite.  The pathology reports come back in a few days so i'm still worried.

Those 15 minutes were the worst.  I started crying.  N was worried for me and told me we would do whatever we needed to help Duke.  I kept wondering how I didn't notice sooner, and thought about how awful a mom I was.  All the coulda, shoulda, woulda inner dialogue just hasn't really quit.  I can't change the past but my mistake can inform my future.  I'm going to be more observant to ensure that my fellas that can't speak to me are understood as best I can moving forward.  Besides, I doubt they would even consider living with regret.

My love affair with Fleetwood Mac

I love me some Fleetwood Mac. I have since I was in elementary school when I didn't even know who they were and my mother forced me to listen to "oldies" radio stations, which typically highlighted music from the 50's, 60 's and 70's.  I loved to hate it, and then I just plain loved it. 

One of the highlights of my adult life was seeing them live in concert for the first time.  I was so enthusiastic about the experience I purchased tickets for my three best friends to come with me because I didn't want to experience it alone.

Interestingly, I found the below quote I emailed myself from an industry news blast back in 2010, which I saved.

"Malcolm Gladwell (Tipping Point, Blink, Outliers), middle, with Colliers US CEO Dylan Taylor and Global CEO Doug Frye at Lincoln Center, where he told 400 Colliers International executives and clients that organizations can learn lessons from...wait for it...rock band Fleetwood Mac. Speaking at a celebration of the launch of the new Colliers International, Malcolm told the band’s story, from its humble British beginnings and rise to its acclaimed Rumours album, and drew the lesson that Fleetwood Mac wasn't an overnight sensation—it took the band a decade to make it big. First lesson: The 10-year rule, ie, no one (excluding chess wunderkind Bobby Fischer) has been a grand success without 10 years’ incubation and apprenticeship. Second: adversity is good—you become hungry and work harder. Third: you have to risk yourself in pursuit of something bold and innovative. Finally, make a commitment to talent—the seeds of a great organization."

I love Malcolm Gladwell's books, and I love his theories behind some of life's most understated yet obvious life lessons. Business management/life lessons from Fleetwood Mac?  Yes, please!

Dive In

I procrastinate sometimes.  There, I admit it.  I also get really excited about a new project and then throw all other responsibilities aside.  So, in theory, I'm still being productive, but in a totally inefficient way.  Some may call that ADD.

Recently, a few projects were thrown upon me to resolve. There were messes that needed cleaning up.  I love projects like this that almost no one would want to take on..  Further, I love the feeling of helping someone who is overwhelmed by the disorganization.

The challenge is that I need to slow down.  Not dive in to all aspects of the whole project at once, even though the diving in is so satisfying.  Slow down, KG!

Introverts

1/3 to a 1/2 of all people are introverts.  I think it's fair to say that there is a general bias against these type of people.  Extroverts get all the glory (like my dad and my big sister).  There is a clear bias against these people that don't rush to be the center of attention. To be clear, it's not shyness, which is a fear of social judgement.


Introverts feel they are most alive when they are in low-key environments, not when they are sharing open space offices, or doing group projects.  It seems like these days schools and work places are geared toward people that are extroverts, which doesn't leave a lot of room for introverts to communicate their ideas.

Think about it, is giving someone the time and space to think a bad thing?  I don't think so.

No regrets!

You have to watch this video.  I was immediately drawn in because the speaker talks about regretting the tattoo she got when she was in her late 20's.  I"m in my early 30's and still debate whether or not I should get one.  Just one.  Of something significant and special.  I know I already mentioned my thought process in the past.

Anyway, the topic is all about regrets and not regretting having them.  Regrets can be useful.  Her logic makes sense, especially for those of us that obsess over mistakes or the possibility of making a mistake.  Watch this, you'll thank me.

animal love

I love animals.  All kinds from fish to birds to dogs and pandas.  I love them so darn much, I can't help myself.  I even think they may have their own sort of souls.  I have no proof of this, but I can't help but think I may be right.  Especially when I think about the dogs in my life.  

My dogs know me. They know when I am happy and sad.  They know when I need love and attention.  No two dogs are the same.  They each have their own personalities.  

My dog Duke will check on every person in the house to be sure they are OK.  He'll sniff our foreheads right in the center.  That is his verification process.  Then he'll patrol the house to ensure there are no intruders trying to harm us.  Then he'll rest a bit.  Awhile later, he'll repeat the whole process.  If Duke checks on me and he notices that I am not doing well, he'll sniff a little closer and nudge me a bit and then lean in.  It's like he's hugging me.

Here are some examples of other animals showing their emotions

Stupid Smart

What is stupid smart you may ask?  I'm going to tell you, but you should read this article first.  And keep in mind that there are different kinds of smart out there.

I'm sure I've mentioned that all people are different and that there are different strengths people have out there.  I'm good at organizing.  I love to see chaos and create order out of it.  Seriously.  For other people, its math or science.  And others yet, it may be working with their hands in some creative capacity.  I have a friend who has the ability to focus intently on anything with so much care it's as though she can drown out the rest of the world and study/memorize/accomplish, anything. Seriously.  I'm jealous of that skill.

My point is that focusing on your shortcomings isn't going to get you far.  In fact, they may not even be shortcomings after all.  They may just be - who you are.

Have you found the right one? Mr. Right?

Before I knew N was my person, I always wondered how I would know if the person I would want to be with was indeed the right one.  The annoyingly easy answer is, you just know.  The truth is, you have to trust your gut which can be one of the hardest things in the world.

Someone tried to quantify it here: The article gives you a list of things you shouldn't be doing if you are in the right relationship, like snooping, lying, cheating, etc.  It seems obvious, but it's worth a read, I think.  

Picky Eaters

I used to be a picky eater.  I admit it.  My best friends still tease me for being a picky eater.  For the most part, I don't consider myself as much of a picky eater any longer.

When I went to Korea on a mission trip, I didn't have the ability to choose what I eat for two weeks.  I had no option but to be open to what was offered and be happy about it.  The experience opened up my eyes.  Now, I'll at least try something once.  Plus, I've re-tried things I thought I hated again.  In some cases, they are at least tolerable, like certain fishes.  Lobster! Yum!

Seriously, why didn't my mom read this book when I was little?  I am totally going to pull a French mom on my kids.  Well, a Greek mom is probably more apt.  Then again, I was absolutely OK eating stuffed grape vine leaves as a kid, and all the kids in the lunch room thought I was crazy pants.