Paradox of Friends

Finding just the right fit- can be hard.  It's fair to say that I have met a good amount of girls over the years.  Most of them weren't/aren't interested in being more than.... non-friends.

I can easily recall the feeling when the "cool girls" in school thought I was terribly weird/ annoying/ un-cool.

It's slim pickings out there! However, I'm lucky enough to have a handful of awesome gals that mean the world to me.  And even though I may annoy them, they still love me anyway.   Success! I think the secret is to keep looking for the people that you can be 100% yourself with.

How to be a supportive friend

I have best friends whom I love like family.  I love them no matter what, "warts and all."  Sometimes we disagree, then, agree to disagree.  Sometimes we laugh.  Sometimes we help the other out.  I can be stronger for them if they need me to help them out with something.  I have the courage to be more bold because of their encouragement.  I believe in myself because they believe in me.  Often, we have faith and hope for one another when it's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

These are my soul mates.  They are my rock.

One of the hardest things to do for these special people, is support them when they are going through something devastating.  When I can't protect them or do them a favor.  When a joke can't help relieve the tension.  It's awful. I like to be able to take action to help make things a bit better.

That isn't always possible.  Sometimes, the only thing you can do, is say "I love you, I'm here, I'll do anything, and I know that will never be enough- but that's all I got."

Because- that's all I got.

Thanksgiving

It's true, I'm Thankful for all of you.  For those of you who make me laugh, , who love me, and who actually read what I have to say.

I'm Thankful!

Compliments

I was getting an acupressure treatment the other day (for S&G's), and the woman happened to be Korean.  She was an older woman, and when I mentioned to her I had been to Korea a few years ago, she was thrilled.  I told her a few of the words I know and she was impressed and happy to hear I was a fan of her country.

After she finished doing what she was doing, toward the end, she said to me, "You pretty.  Pretty girl."

I said heartily and cheerfully, "thank you!"  She didn't have to be nice, but she was.  And it felt so good.

Thank you, kind lady.  Thanks for making me feel special.

Turkey Day

In anticipation of the glorious Turkey that awaits me, I can't help but remind myself where they come from.  Whenever I stop to think about the animals that become my dinner I feel guilty.  I know they are yummy, but they are also so damn cute.  Check it out:

On Giving

The rich man is not the one who has much, but the one who gives much. For what one gives away, he keeps for all eternity.  St. John Chrysostom

If N were to read the above, or I ask him what he thought about it, he'd probably say it was a big conspiracy to get people to be nice/give away their money.  And then he'd call them, "suckers."  N and I have different perspectives on charity.  

I wonder what this lady below would say to my love.  She'd probably call him a fool.  This woman gave to children she didn't know.  She invested in their future.  Hopefully, they pay it forward.  If even one of them does, it was worth it. 

She's an inspiration.  She is a true steward to the human race.  

Angels among us?

As I get older, I can't help but think that those that leave us (through death) are still among us.  I realize that makes me sound a bit crazy, and that there isn't any discernible proof I have to offer.  It's a feeling I get from time to time.  When there are moments that something from the past, that I haven't seen, heard or smelled comes back to me- I feel like I know.  

I found it interesting to read about this gentleman who believes he saw:

“flocks of transparent, shimmering beings” that “arced across the sky, leaving long, streamer like lines behind them.” They were, he says, “silvery” and “scintillating.” After coming out of the coma, Alexander wasn't certain what to call these sparkling beings, but he did describe them as “winged” and “advanced. Higher forms.”

Dr. Eben Alexander, a Neurosurgeon, was in a coma for seven days, and the above was his experience.  He's a man of science.  That makes me that more interested in what he has to say.  Take a look at his article.   Whether spirits or angels, it doesn't matter to me.  What matters is that there is even a possibility to consider.  

You are never alone

I am such a sap for a great real - life story.  Maybe this video made me even more emotional because it was from one of my favorite places:  South Korea.  This poor boy, homeless and an orphan, wowed this audience, and now the world, to the tune of over 70M hits on youtube with his performance on Korea's Got Talent.

It was clear the quiet spoken boy experienced nothing by challenges in his life.  But he believed that he would never be alone ever again after that performance the response people had to his talent- and that is an unbelievable site to see.  Check it out:

Equality for Women -everywhere

‎"I want my commitment to ending girl marriage to be equal to my commitment to ending apartheid." - Desmond Tutu

There is so much in this world that I'll never know or experience.  One of those things is what its like to live in a place where woman don't have the same rights and privileges as we do here.  Reading about the plight of women in some parts of Africa completely frustrates me.  

Knowing that Mr. Tutu is on the case seems like eventually (and hopefully in not too long), this problem will be resolved.  

Gay Marriage Rationale

This is so true- and also so funny.  I know some of you may be wondering how I can reconcile being Christian and pro-gay marriage.  The answer?  I'm pro-marriage.  I'm pro-human beings.  I'm pro-love.  I'll let God work out the details.  Until then- I'll keep on loving (and laughing).

CollegeHumor's Favorite Funny Videos

Self Involved

"It is not accidental that Christ said, “Whoever loves himself more than me, even his own life, cannot be my disciple.” In other words, God asks us to cut off every relationship. Not to hate ourselves, not to reject ourselves, but to liberate ourselves from self-absorption, from our narcissism. It requires great courage to be liberated from the bondage of this world so that we fear nothing".  Fr. Maximos in the book “Night River: A Pilgrimage to the Heart of Christian Spirituality”

What is a Spiritual Life ?

"The foundation of the spiritual life is self-control and temperance, just as St. Paul advocated. This implies an ability to restrain our desires. That’s where we begin our struggle. We need practice. How can we become compassionate, charitable and loving if we can sacrifice nothing of ourselves? The commandments of God are the medicines that He offers for our cure. Honoring the commandments liberates us from the slavery of our passions and unbridled desires. When God said, ‘You shall not eat from the tree,” it was a commandment to exercise temperance. That is why before beginning his ministry Christ fasted for forty days and forty nights. To show that the first step in the spiritual life is to take mastery over your desires."  Fr. Maximos in the book “Night River: A Pilgrimage to the Heart of Christian Spirituality”

Thank you, Veterans

Thank you, Veterans.  Thank you for your courage and bravery.  Thank you for defending us and our country.  And a special shout out to my dad, my favorite Veteran of all.  You are my #1 hero.

Gender Rules

When I was little my mom didn't want me to play soccer because I was a girl, and she felt that soccer was a boys sport.  I was allowed to do ballet (and tap!).  I hated ballet and tap.  All I wanted to do was play soccer and be a Goal Keeper.

At 10 years old, I found my own team, tried out, made the team, found my own ride there - and went to my dad to get the $20 I needed for my uniform. He agreed.  I was thrilled and went on to play soccer on local, travel and High School soccer teams.  I wasn't the best, but I was OK for a minute or two.  In my 20's I coached a girls team for about five years which had a great impact on my life.  I still love soccer all these years later.

When I saw this video I was so proud of this little girl- she's playing tackle football, an aggressive sport that will really only tolerate girl kickers in some cases. There was a girl that played college ball.  In DC, there is a female high school football coach, even.

Who is to say what people are capable of if you eliminate the chance for them to even try?

Man can this kid play!  Who cares if she's a girl?  Check it out:

Maturity

"The day the child realizes that all adults are imperfect, she becomes an adolescent; the day she forgives them, she becomes an adult; the day she forgives herself, she becomes wise." 

--Alden Nowlan, Canadian poet, novelist and playwright

I'll be the first person to admit that I didn't get along with my parents while I was growing up.  I was mad at my Dad because he was never around (he worked over 100 hours a week up until a few years ago).  The brunt of the rearing came from my mom who had three girls with very big and different personalities to tend to.  

me and my bestie (i.e my mom:)

They weren't perfect (and still aren't).  There are things they did and decisions they made that I would never make were I in the same position.  But they loved us.  They provided for us and nurtured us.  As an adult my mother has apologized for any mistakes she made while raising us. My response to her:  nonsense! 

They did the best they could.  I know this implicitly.  I forgive them for not being perfect, and I have asked them to forgive me for the same very human mistakes I made.  

Have you ever met folks that still complain about the way they were raised, or mistakes their parents made 20, 30, or even 40+ years ago?  There are exceptions to what I'm about to say of course, but all I really want to say is, let it go.  Move on.  When you are a parent, do you think you are going to have it all figured out?  Doubtful.  

I can proudly say that years later, my mom is my best friend.  I absolutely would never have guessed that we would be as close and I'm thrilled I was wrong.  Love you, mom! 

money money money

The holidays are upon us- can't you tell? Now that the elections are over, the political campaigns won't be peppering us with their incessant ads.  In it's place- holiday ads.  In a few weeks it will be Thanksgiving and then Christmas will be here before you know it.

One of the most ridiculous things I see which contradicts everything the holidays is supposed to be about is Black Friday.  Instead of people getting into the holiday spirit, we see news stories about people slugging each other while trying to get a good deal on a big screen tv, or the latest game system.  Cyber Monday is no better.  It all leaves me feeling terribly greedy.

Let's try something different this year-  what about Giving Tuesday?  Have you heard of it?  It's a day dedicated to GIVING to a cause.  Choose any cause that means something to you.  It's a great opportunity to give instead of take.  Here's a worthy cause for you to take a look at.  

Black Friday…
Cyber Monday…
Help launch #GivingTuesday^TM!

Women for Women

These ladies are changing the world, not only the world that surrounds them in their local community, but globally as well.  They are courageous and strong.  They help each other.  They call each other sister.  Check it out:

HERE

Keep them Guessing

I voted today as I have in every election since I was able at 18.  I headed to the polls this afternoon with the hopes that the projected long lines would be shorter.  Luckily, they were.  I was happy to vote and get my sticker.  It reminded me of when I was a kid and my mom would take me to vote with her.  She would let me hit the "vote" button and I thought I had so much power.

As I walked into the building today I saw a woman in front of me who had two canes she was walking with.  I noticed she was having a rough time of it. She had a folding chair over her shoulder that was jostling around.   I approached her and asked her (very gingerly) if she could use a hand.  She gladly accepted my help and we chatted as we walked toward the entrance.

She was there to help pass out leaflets - and I know she noticed that I grabbed both of the sample ballots as I always do.  She looked somewhat confused as to why I would help her out, but said "thank you" several times.  I assured her it was not a big deal at all and wished her a good day.

Doing the right thing has nothing to do with politics or preferences.  I love the fact that I helped someone from the other side of the political fence today ;)

Get Out and Vote

Duke says he doesn't care who you vote for- as long as you do!  

GET OUT THE VOTE!

Worried about the future ?

"If we really fully belong to God, then we must be at His disposal and we must trust in Him. We must never be preoccupied with the future. There is no reason to be so. God is there."    Brother Roger of Taize

                      

I could drive myself crazy (and sometimes I do) when I consider the possibility of what will happen in the future.  Then, I stupidly try to plan around what MAY happen.  It's controlling.  It's foolish.  It's a habit.  

I know I'm not alone here, which makes me feel a bit better.  But I also know that while others are in my boat, we all continue to struggle with the problem of trying to control our futures.  While there are certain things we can control, there are many others we can't.  In fact, we can't control other people in our lives, which is often the source of our frustrations.

Example:  I wonder what N is going to do about his career.  I worry about how much time he spends (or wastes) on certain hobbies I think are stupid.  I angst over our unborn/ unconceived children and how we'll raise them.  I worry about how we'll ever agree about how to spend money.  

Clearly, there is no way I'm going to solve - on my own- our future problems.  Especially since N doesn't plan for the upcoming weekend, let alone a five year plan.  

My faith tells me it is foolish to waste my time worrying about anything.  If I'm truly faithful, then I should know that God will take care of things ultimately.  In Him, all things are possible.  Clearly, my Faith wanes.  

For those who just need some good common sense, repeat after me- "It's going to be OK.  Just Be!"