Saturday, July 30, 2011

Why everyone needs vacation

It's summer,and that means that traffic is lighter (usually), getting work done is harder (because every given week, 1/4 of the people I'm trying to reach are out of town), and I stay at work later because it stays brighter longer.  Summer also means I try to get away for some R&R.

I love vacation.  The only thing I don't love about it, is how it is never long enough.  I've been away the past four weekends, and as great as that is, I think I'd probably take one nice long vacation over several abbreviated ones.  Although, let's be honest....beggars can't be choosers.  I've been able to go to the River, the Beach, hang out with friends, go to Colorado and see the mountains...

It looks like I'm right on the money.  Check out this article about happiness and putting your money where your mouth is.  It turns out, the memories that you build by going on vacation are worth far more than other material possessions.  (note: thanks for the heads up on the article, NT)

Friday, July 29, 2011

Horray!

Would you believe that as of today, my little blog has 10,198 hits?  I can't.  Even if people come across this blog because google sent them here when they were looking for something completely different- welcome!

Writing here has given me the ability to gain additional perspective in my life.  Further, the time goes by so quickly, so it's nice to have something to look back on.

Thank you for reading, commenting (especially you, Ma), and supporting me.

When you get what you want

Duke is my main man.  He's a 60+ pound, 6.5 year old standard poodle.  He's independent, loving, funny and stubborn.  I love my companion.  A few years ago, I thought it would be a good idea to get him a buddy.  Someone to keep him company while I was away for far too long during the days and nights.  I knew that getting a puppy would mean a year of hard time.  If you've had a puppy, you know what I mean.  They are utterly dependent on you like a new born baby. Plus, if you don't train them correctly from the beginning, you are in for a nightmare thereafter.

Anyway, flash forward to March of this year.  I had literally JUST been looking at getting another animal in February.  I was thinking of adopting so I didn't have the puppy issues.  The dog I inquired after went to another.  I was a bit disappointed.  A few weeks later, Metro started staying with me.  I didn't choose his name (in fact, I tried calling him Murphy to see if it would stick- it didn't.  Metro is set in his ways).  He needed a place to stay and Duke is thrilled. He has another dog to play with and harass.  I'm happy too.  Metro loves to snuggle where Duke does not.  Plus, he's the sweetest easiest dog, ever.  The boys are thick as thieves.  Don't even get me started about how they whimper when I take one away for a few hours for a vet appointment.

Isn't it great how things work out- better than you could have anticipated or planned for yourself?

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Waiting for perfection...a waste of time

Waiting for the perfect conclusion to anything, always seems to be the light at the end of the tunnel. The carrot you strive to achieve. I've learned though, that "perfection is the enemy of good."  That quote could be attributed to many, but according to Wikipedia, it is an aphorism or proverb which is commonly attributed to Voltaire whose moral poem, La Bégueule, starts


(In his writings, a wise Italian
says that the best is the enemy of the good)

Further, "the moral is that perfectionism is contrary to a satisfactory competenceAristotleConfucius and other classical philosophers propounded the principle of the golden mean which counsels against extremism in general. The Pareto principle or 80-20 rule explains this numerically. For example, it commonly takes 20% of the full time to complete 80% of a task while the last 20% takes 80% of the effort. Achieving absolute perfection may be impossible and so, as increasing effort results in diminishing returns, further activity becomes increasingly inefficient."

A few things here..... 1) My dad talks about what he calls the 80% Rule all the time. By his determination, if you have 80% of a task done, it's time to start moving on. 2) Perfection is rarely attainable, so why do we force ourselves to get there?The picture that you see here is from my new office in the building development I've been working on for five years. It is finally (almost) to fruition. It's taken forever. And there are about 30 things that should be fixed, or changed if I wanted perfection. But I don't have time (or money) to waste with that now. Now, I'm going to throw perfection away, and get my rear end in that new office with the big windows and the door I can close to leave people out of my way. That is is my brand of perfection.

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Nobody Bothers Me

How true I wish this was- for me.  But it isn't.  For some reason, lots of little things that I want to brush off my shoulders this week, are getting to me.  Well, I should be clear....I'm letting them get to me.  I'm certain its the stress, but it reminds me of this old commercial from a popular local Tae Kwon Do place.  The slogan has stayed in my mind for years:

Although I think it's fair to say, that the slogan infers "nobody bothers me" because you are able to kick the other person's a$$.  Now, that would be a great stress reliever 

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Quit being Crabby

Whenever I'm Crabby, or when you are Crabby... it's never about whomever we take it out on. Never.

I found myself being what anyone could consider, bitchy a few weeks ago.  I lost my temper and am still angry at myself for it.  I was mad at one person and took it out on another.  The former- will never see eye to eye with me, and I should know better than to allow myself to get baited.

After I loose my temper and go all "raGe Kage," I'm reminded of the scene in "You've got Mail" when Meg Ryan's character explains she is finally able to say what she wants to say when the opportunity presents itself, and wish I had that power:
Joe Fox: I think you'd discover a lot of things if you really knew me. 
Kathleen Kelly: If I really knew you, I know exactly what I'd find: instead of a brain a cash register, instead of a heart a bottom line. 
[gasps] 
Joe Fox: What? 
Kathleen Kelly: I just had a breakthrough. 
Joe Fox: What is it? 
Kathleen Kelly: I have you to thank for it. For the first time in my life, when confronted with a horrible, insensitive person, I knew exactly what I wanted to say and I said it. 
Joe Fox: I think you have the gift for it. It was a perfect blend of poetry and meanness. 

Monday, July 25, 2011

Give Thanks

I was driving home today, and saw the license plate to the right.  I was in the middle of an internal diatribe feeling frustrated with a project at work that isn't going as smoothly as I would have planned when I originally took on the project five years ago.

When I took a few seconds to actually look around me, (which I should have been doing since I was driving), I noticed the license plate and felt guilty. "GVE THNX"

Great reminder.  Good thing there is vanity plates to remind me to stop and smell the roses.  And bumper stickers.  Those are great too.

Friday, July 22, 2011

Take it to the next level

Often, I take relationships for face value.  I make the mistake of assuming that they are stagnant to a degree.  It's a limiting perspective which doesn't take into account where the other person is coming from or what they might be thinking.

Let me explain a little why I started thinking about how relationships can evolve over time.  Last week I was leaving a meeting with someone.  That someone is my dad who also happens to be my boss.  I thought that I would get in and get out of working with Pops.  I figured that the job I took when I was 22 would be short lived.  A year, maybe two.  But probably, six months- max. I've worked with and for him for almost 13 years now, including those grueling summers during college.

I simply never could have imagined that I would want to work for my father whom I wasn't a big fan of growing up. He worked so much he was never around and I resented him and the job that kept him from me.
Over the years, we've both grown.  I've learned how to be assertive and pro-active.  I've learned to come up with my own solutions if I can.  I've learned to ask for help when I need it, and that there is almost never a stupid question.  I've learned to make tough decisions.  And I've also learned that working with family is the biggest challenge to my potential success as a professional.  But I've done it anyway.

My dad has softened, and learned to listen more.  He's a great boss because he gives me the opportunity to test my ideas, and thrive when I can. When I've made costly mistakes, he's forgiven me and taught me how to do better next time.  Working for and with him, is an experience which has made all the difference in my professional life.

After all the years we've worked together, I suppose I expected that our close relationship was as good as it is ever going to get- since it's really pretty great.  Pops is my friend and a confidant.  He's my golfing and fishing buddy, plus he's my biggest fan.  I really couldn't ask for more, nor would I have.  Which brings us back to the meeting.

I was driving us back and Pops revealed to me a valuable tidbit of information- to place in the recess of my brain for a rainy day.  What does that mean?  It means he trusts me a lot.  In an even bigger way.  He took it to the next level.  That's left me feeling pretty darn special- and lucky too.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Keep it real

This grandma really knows what it takes to live a good life.  I can't believe she had the b#(%s to do it.  I don't!  In fact, I think I've grown afraid of heights as I've gotten older.

I guess the key to getting old, is to continue to live like you are still young (at heart) :-)

Serenity Now

Today I'm experiencing frustrations with people who should stay out of my life/way.  I suppose that is similar to the same problem I was having yesterday, with regard to crazypants.  Here's the deal:

Many moons ago (over a decade), I met this boy whom I liked and dated casually.  It didn't work out.  A while later, I found out that an acquaintance of mine (who was very good friends with some of my good friends) started dating him which is why he ditched me.  Mind you, she knew I had liked this guy and was dating him.  After that, I chose to ignore her for breaking the unspoken ladies code of dating:  don't go sniffing around a dude that I have laid claim on.

Guess what I just got in my inbox?  A LinkedIn request from her.  Why?  I'm not sure.  She lives across the country and doesn't work in my industry, plus I haven't seen her for about a decade.  Weird.  I'm going to try to deep breathe and pray for some serenity.  That's all.

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Crazypants Strikes Again

I feel that those of you who have been reading for a while, recall when Crazypants invaded DC back in March.  Guess who texted me today, around 3:47 PM while I was in the middle of my busy work day?  Crazypants.   I was dumbstruck, yet again.
I felt myself audibly exhale then read and re-read the text from the a$$-clown.  Meanwhile, the old horrible trail of texts that he had sent me back in March could be seen above the new text from today.  I was forced to re-examine everything that happened all over again.
If you recall, I placed a V-Block on his number so he couldn't get in touch with me.  It appears as though the V-block expired and opened up permissions for him to contact me. What did he have to say?  He said shortly:
"Wanted to give u my deepest apology for my behavior earlier in the year! Good luck & Best Wishes"
I was outraged.  Perhaps I should have been happy that he apologized.  But I couldn't (can't) focus on that yet. I'm still annoyed/pissed/angry.
The best part of this, is the response I got from my best friends.  They all immediately responded with support and frustration.  Several offered to drive the eight hours to where he's from to either a) give him the one digit solute b) TP his house (an old favorite of ours) or c) Sprinkle his belongings with something disgusting I won't reveal here.  Needless to say, the girls gave me a chuckle.  Thank God for best friends.  They make the bad stuff come off as laughable.

Treat your relationships right

“Eighty percent of life's satisfaction comes from meaningful relationships." Think about it...when you look back at the end of your life what will really matter? Five words...the quality of your relationships. So here's the question: If your relationships are the most important part of your life, what are you doing to make them all they can be?”  Brian Tracy


Some days it's hard to be the best version of ourselves- we all know that.  But that shouldn't mean we let ourselves take our frustrations or pain out on those we care about the most.  Harness that anger and channel it toward resolving your actual issue.  It's not only the nice thing to do, but the fair thing to do as well.  

Monday, July 18, 2011

One day

Given how much stress I've been feeling...all I can think about is how I want to go to ...here:

Anyone? Six hour trip.  Then we can head over to Europe?

A girl can dream, no?

Facing Fears

“There’s nothing better in the world than a little bit of scared to get you doing the right thing. Fear can make you faster, smarter, stronger, absolutely.” 47-year-old Laird Hamilton


Hamilton is a big wave surf legend, and faces his fears in a way I can't even contemplate.  See the amazing video below to see how he can harness his fears into something worthy of a word much greater than "amazing" captures.   



Thursday, July 14, 2011

shut yo mouth!

I had a conversation with a good friend this evening about an old friend she has that went on a week long quiet retreat.  It was so quiet that the participants couldnt say anything to eachother for any reason.  It may sound innefficient or weird or purposeless, but I get it .
When I was in Korea last year, one of the best parts about the trip was that I had a break from my need to communicate verbally.  When the option is taken out of the equation you start to realize all the stupid things you say and begin to wonder why you do.
I think you can learn more from the quiet than the noise- check it out and let me know how goes

Monday, July 11, 2011

Facing Fears

“There’s nothing better in the world than a little bit of scared to get you doing the right thing. Fear can make you faster, smarter, stronger, absolutely.” -- 47-year-old Laird Hamilton



Facts of Life

Theme songs from 80's TV shows are stuck in my head.  From time to time they creep back up, and all I can hear in my head is the same song over and over again. It leaves me feeling happy to a degree because I recall memories from when I was a kid.  Today, I started singing the theme song to the show, "The Facts of Life."  The words are great:
You take the good, you take the bad, 
you take them both and there you have 
The Facts of Life, the Facts of Life. 

There's a time you got to go and show 
You're growin' now you know about 
The Facts of Life, the Facts of Life. 

When the world never seems 
to be livin up to your dreams 
And suddenly you're finding out 
the Facts of Life are all about you, you. 

It takes a lot to get 'em right 
When you're learning the Facts of Life. (learning the Facts of Life) 
Learning the Facts of Life (learning the Facts of Life) 
Learning the Facts of Life. 

End Credits 
You'll avoid a lot of damages 
an enjoy the fun of managing 
the facts of life; 
they shed a lot of light 
If you hear them from your brother, 
better clear them with your mother 
better get them right, 
call her late at night 

You got the future in the palm of your hands 
all you gotta do to get you through is understand 
you think you rather do without, 
you will never make without the truth 
the facts of life is all about you 

Saturday, July 9, 2011

Hail Storm

I was recently on a trip out of town and needed a rental car.  As I've been instructed over the years, I opted to waive the insurance coverage.  The very nice, but firm sales associate gave me the hard sell to buy the additional coverage since my standard carrier doesn't overlap with this rental company.  Her hard sell annoyed me but she pressed on.  She wanted me to be sure I understood that in the region, hail storms were often possible and the hail could potentially damage the brand new vehicle.  I still waived coverage.  She practically shook her head at me and I left annoyed.
Minutes later I was on the road and the rain started.  15 minutes later the hail came.  What an idiot I am! I should have listened when I had the nudge.

Friday, July 8, 2011

Boomerang

"If you would be loved, love and be lovable." - Benjamin Franklin


I've learned you have to put out what you want to get back.  It's simple.  You put out the good, you get good.  If you put your negativity out there, you probably are going to get that back.  

Peace

"Whoever is seeking peace should be ready for struggle" Christian Orthodox Nun


I think I have an idealistic approach with regard to peace.  The meaning of the world always leaves me with this tranquil idea of what it means, and how you get it.   But the truth is, that you often have to work to achieve peace in your life.  So, in truth, the path to peace is indeed wrought with challenges. 


You have to fight to get to the good places in your life, I've learned through my experiences.  They almost never come easily or for free.  There is almost always a cost.  However, it is always worth it!



Thursday, July 7, 2011

Fix What you Can

I love the idea of strangers helping me find meaning in my life.  A simple idea can lead to extra ordinary results. This post-it note movement offers notes of encouragement for folks to find around Singapore.

This simple concept to the left reminded me of a conversation I had with a friend.  She's been facing tribulations and feeling stuck.  At a certain point, you have to cut your losses, and move onto the things you can control.

If you put your focus on something that may actually change as a result of something you are able to act upon, the rewards will come quicker.

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Wanting less

"My greatest skill has been to want but little." - Henry David Thoreau


"To want but little?" Are you kidding me? I want a lot more than a little almost always.  Another area where I could use some improvement.  Then again, who is to say what Thoreau's definition of a "little" is?  


Anyone have any tactics on how to want less than I do?  Perhaps I must appreciate and focus on what I do have. 




Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Anxiety

"Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Let the day's own trouble be sufficient for the day." Matthew 6:34


If I let myself, I will start a day thinking about a small problem, and then another problem, and then a concern that needs tending to, a person I need to catch up with, an errand that should have been done yesterday, an emergency that will inevitably come up during the day, and by the time I got to bed at night- all I've done is worry.  


What a waste of time.  I have to remind myself to do more instead of worry more.  Then, I will have less to worry about.  

Sunday, July 3, 2011

No one is Perfect

"Every saint has a past, every sinner has a future" - Oscar Wilde

It's unfair to assume that your life is all that different than anyone else.  Or, that your problems are more challenging than anyone else's.  Everyone has problems.  No one is perfect.  Period.

Cut yourself some slack the next time you are mad at yourself for a mistake you made.

Good Deeds

"As our self-interest diminishes, our anxieties disappear, and then comes quiet and firm joy, which always diffuses us with a good spiritual disposition and a clear conscience. Every good deed helps to kindle this feeling of joy within us." — Tolstoy

Saturday, July 2, 2011

The spread of happiness to China

One day I'll get to China.  Until then I'll learn about the foreign land that I've thought about since I was a kid.  The furniture I had as a child was from China.  The oriental hand painted art raised curiosity in my mind.  Who painted the furniture, who crafted it, how did it get here?

As other countries are measuring the Gross Domestic Happiness index within their borders, China has begun to take notice.  The goal according to the Premier is to bring people more happiness and dignity.  The new greeting of choice amongst Chinese is now, "Are you happy?" instead of "Did you eat today?"  Quite a shift in priorities.

In Communist China, authorities are concerned that the shift in the economy will affect the stability of the people. For instance, additional in balance of wealth is a threat to the masses.  Given the lack of choice in China, I'm curious how the imposed authority affects wellness.  Further, after watching a documentary about democracy in China, I wonder how the constraint affects people.  The documentary  called, "Please vote for me"  examines this concept of democracy (choice) for a class monitor position in a 3rd grade class.  Instead of the child being chosen by the teacher the movie shoes each of the three candidates campaigning for the win.
It appears that despite how hard politics may steer people away from achieving their happiness, it is always a concept people will strive for.  Not even a Communist government can stop it.

Friday, July 1, 2011

The future is coming...

Future!
You can't stop progress- it comes whether we want it to or not.  While watching an interesting video by Bill Ford, great grand son of Henry Ford, I was impressed by the concept of how much innovation has affected society.

Smart public transportation is coming- it's the wave of the future.  Be prepared to get on board with change.  It's coming and your support is imperative!