Big Surprises

This is one of the best things I've seen- ever.  I loved it so much I watched it three times in a row.  This guy Isaac Lamb proposes to his girlfriend, Amy Frankel by gathering up 60+ of their friends and family and putting on a spectacle.

N technically asked me to marry him months after we already decided to marry each other and we had already started planning our wedding.  The proposal was a technicality after we actually had the ring.  Then again, I'm not big on surprises.  However, seeing this made me marvel at the prospect of being totally surprised and giving up control over a big event- like when  you will get proposed to.

Perhaps I should give in to surprises more often-  N would be happy.  But he'd also have to start coming up with some creative ways to surprise me :)

Demystifying "Opposites Attract"

I've heard that "opposites attract" my whole life.  The magnetism of people that are different creates a bond that can't be broken.  People that are in relationships like this typically repeat the cyclical pattern of fighting, making up, fighting, making up until they break up.

I think it's a waste of time, and the biggest reason for this misconception is that most folks are ignoring one simple truth- you can be with someone who is different from you in many ways, as long as you still compliment each other.

GIVE UP

Here is a list of 15 things which, if you give up on them, will make your life a lot easier and much, much happier. We hold on to so many things that cause us a great deal of pain, stress and suffering – and instead of letting them all go, instead of allowing ourselves to be stress free and happy – we cling on to them. Not anymore. Starting today we will give up on all those things that no longer serve us, and we will embrace change. Ready? Here we go:

1. GIVE UP YOUR NEED TO ALWAYS BE RIGHT

 There are so many of us who can’t stand the idea of being wrong – wanting to always be right – even at the risk of ending great relationships or causing a great deal of stress and pain, for us and for others. It’s just not worth it. Whenever you feel the ‘urgent’ need to jump into a fight over who is right and who is wrong, ask yourself this question: “Would I rather be right, or would I rather be kind?”Wayne Dyer. What difference will that make? Is your ego really that big?

2. GIVE UP YOUR NEED FOR CONTROL

Be willing to give up your need to always control everything that happens to you and around you – situations, events, people, etc. Whether they are loved ones, coworkers, or just strangers you meet on the street – just allow them to be. Allow everything and everyone to be just as they are and you will see how much better will that make you feel.

“By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond winning.” Lao Tzu

3. GIVE UP ON BLAME

 Give up on your need to blame others for what you have or don’t have, for what you feel or don’t feel. Stop giving your powers away and start taking responsibility for your life.

4. GIVE UP YOUR SELF-DEFEATING SELF-TALK

 Oh my. How many people are hurting themselves because of their negative, polluted and repetitive self-defeating mindset? Don’t believe everything that your mind is telling you – especially if it’s negative and self-defeating. You are better than that.

“The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive.” Eckhart Tolle

5. GIVE UP YOUR LIMITING BELIEFS

about what you can or cannot do, about what is possible or impossible. From now on, you are no longer going to allow your limiting beliefs to keep you stuck in the wrong place. Spread your wings and fly!

“A belief is not an idea held by the mind, it is an idea that holds the mind” Elly Roselle

6. GIVE UP COMPLAINING

 Give up your constant need to complain about those many, many, maaany things – people, situations, events that make you unhappy, sad and depressed. Nobody can make you unhappy, no situation can make you sad or miserable unless you allow it to. It’s not the situation that triggers those feelings in you, but how you choose to look at it. Never underestimate the power of positive thinking.

7. GIVE UP THE LUXURY OF CRITICISM

Give up your need to criticize things, events or people that are different than you. We are all different, yet we are all the same. We all want to be happy, we all want to love and be loved and we all want to be understood. We all want something, and something is wished by us all.

8. GIVE UP YOUR NEED TO IMPRESS OTHERS

Stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not just to make others like you. It doesn’t work this way. The moment you stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not, the moment you take off all your masks, the moment you accept and embrace the real you, you will find people will be drawn to you, effortlessly.

9. GIVE UP YOUR RESISTANCE TO CHANGE

 Change is good. Change will help you move from A to B. Change will help you make improvements in your life and also the lives of those around you. Follow your bliss, embrace change – don’t resist it.
“Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls” Joseph Campbell

10. GIVE UP LABELS

 Stop labeling those things, people or events that you don’t understand as being weird or different and try opening your mind, little by little. Minds only work when open. “The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don’t know anything about.” Wayne Dyer

11. GIVE UP ON YOUR FEARS

Fear is just an illusion, it doesn’t exist – you created it. It’s all in your mind. Correct the inside and the outside will fall into place.
“The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself.” Franklin D. Roosevelt

12. GIVE UP YOUR EXCUSES

Send them packing and tell them they’re fired. You no longer need them. A lot of times we limit ourselves because of the many excuses we use. Instead of growing and working on improving ourselves and our lives, we get stuck, lying to ourselves, using all kind of excuses – excuses that 99.9% of the time are not even real.

13. GIVE UP THE PAST

I know, I know. It’s hard. Especially when the past looks so much better than the present and the future looks so frightening, but you have to take into consideration the fact that the present moment is all you have and all you will ever have. The past you are now longing for – the past that you are now dreaming about – was ignored by you when it was present. Stop deluding yourself. Be present in everything you do and enjoy life. After all life is a journey not a destination. Have a clear vision for the future, prepare yourself, but always be present in the now.

14. GIVE UP ATTACHMENT

This is a concept that, for most of us is so hard to grasp and I have to tell you that it was for me too, (it still is) but it’s not something impossible. You get better and better at with time and practice. The moment you detach yourself from all things, (and that doesn’t mean you give up your love for them – because love and attachment have nothing to do with one another,  attachment comes from a place of fear, while love… well, real love is pure, kind, and self less, where there is love there can’t be fear, and because of that, attachment and love cannot coexist) you become so peaceful, so tolerant, so kind, and so serene. You will get to a place where you will be able to understand all things without even trying. A state beyond words.

15. GIVE UP LIVING YOUR LIFE TO OTHER PEOPLE’S EXPECTATIONS

Way too many people are living a life that is not theirs to live. They live their lives according to what others think is best for them, they live their lives according to what their parents think is best for them, to what their friends, their enemies and their teachers, their government and the media think is best for them. They ignore their inner voice, that inner calling. They are so busy with pleasing everybody, with living up to other people’s expectations, that they lose control over their lives. They forget what makes them happy, what they want, what they need….and eventually they forget about themselves.  You have one life – this one right now – you must live it, own it, and especially don’t let other people’s opinions distract you from your path.

Wealth

Don't over spend, that's what the smart people do. Check out how Warren Buffet makes it happen.  

"Although [Buffett's] home isn't shabby, the Happy Hollow neighborhood where he lives isn't even the ritziest in Omaha," real estate agent Christie Brandt told Forbes in 2003. "It's a pricey area, but it's not the most expensive. Buffett's house is a lot like Warren--it's very conservative and it's impeccably maintained." 

It's a choice

We all know that every day is comprised of thousands of choices.  We elect whether to be in a good mood or a bad one.  Of all the options that life throws our way, we can choose to see our glass as half full or empty.

I'm certain that we have to continue to work hard, every day, to choose the good choices.

While we have thousands of choices, we have millions of thoughts.  Our thoughts can send us soaring or spiraling in nanoseconds.  Choose the good thoughts!  This article highlights this very point.  

"Thoughts have power, great power – creative power, and if you manage to train your mind to work for you and not against you, you will find happiness. and you will be happy most of the time. "

Loyal Dogs

I'm wondering if my Duke would be able to pull this off- I'm hoping he'll figure out the whole loyalty /baby thing when (God willing) N and I have babies....until then, I'm waiting with baited breathe.

Waiting for the good stuff

I'm not great with being patient.  I try, but most of the time I want to jump right into the good stuff- RIGHT away.  I want to KNOW without a shadow of a doubt, that things are going to turn out the way they should.  This is ridiculous, I realize.

N, my man piece, is far more patient than I am.   I love that about him, but it also aggravates me in the moment. He's willing to wait out pretty much anything.  He waited for me for almost two years.  He kept all my emails (all of them!) from when we first met.  He eats slowly.  He's methodical in his pain staking approach to accomplishing a task.  He's thorough.

He's the type that under promises and over delivers.  A few weeks ago he kept telling me he wouldn't be able to make it up to visit me until Sunday.  I was itching for him to come on Saturday, but he said it wasn't going to happen.  He arrived on Saturday evening.  He worked hard to finish everything he needed to do the WHOLE time in order to make it.  I was thrilled.

Hopefully some of this will rub off on me in time.

to forgive an....ex?

I had a conversation with a girl friend about ex boyfriends.  Actually, I had two conversations today with two friends about exes.  Interesting how the thought of them creeps up from no where.  So tonight I was asked if I would want the one particular guy whom I dated a decade ago, to be happy.

Nope.

My friend told me (correctly) that I am an a-hole.  She couldn't believe it because of how much I speak about forgiveness on here.

But here's my caveat- he never asked for forgiveness.  Never.  He never regretted how mean he was to me.  How he hurt me and mistreated me.  So I still harbor resentment and anger.  Is it foolish and immature?  Sure.  But there are a few things I haven't completely let go of.  I'm a work in process- i'll get there one day.

I forgave this guy-  why?  Because he apologized via text and email several times.   He was clearly an idiot and admitted it.

I forgive my friends and family for offenses minor and major, because I love them.  And they love me. I assume I'm not alone here, but would like to hear that I'm not.

Optimism Bias

There are a lot of studies out there analyzing the differences between optimistic and pessimistic people.

“Whatever happens, whether you succeed or you fail, people with high expectations always feel better, because how we feel — when we get dumped or we win employee of the month — depends on how we interpret that event.”- Tali Sharot

This TED video is a great piece on how optimism affects outcome.  My dad is like this- he believes good things will happen, so they do, even if I may think they aren't as great as they could be.

"Are we born to be optimistic, rather than realistic? Tali Sharot shares new research that suggests our brains are wired to look on the bright side -- and how that can be both dangerous and beneficial."

GIVE UP already!

Here is a list of 15 things which, if you give up on them, will make your life a lot easier and much, much happier. We hold on to so many things that cause us a great deal of pain, stress and suffering – and instead of letting them all go, instead of allowing ourselves to be stress free and happy – we cling on to them. Not anymore. Starting today we will give up on all those things that no longer serve us, and we will embrace change. Ready? Here we go:

1. GIVE UP YOUR NEED TO ALWAYS BE RIGHT

 There are so many of us who can’t stand the idea of being wrong – wanting to always be right – even at the risk of ending great relationships or causing a great deal of stress and pain, for us and for others. It’s just not worth it. Whenever you feel the ‘urgent’ need to jump into a fight over who is right and who is wrong, ask yourself this question: “Would I rather be right, or would I rather be kind?”Wayne Dyer. What difference will that make? Is your ego really that big?

2. GIVE UP YOUR NEED FOR CONTROL

Be willing to give up your need to always control everything that happens to you and around you – situations, events, people, etc. Whether they are loved ones, coworkers, or just strangers you meet on the street – just allow them to be. Allow everything and everyone to be just as they are and you will see how much better will that make you feel.

“By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond winning.” Lao Tzu

3. GIVE UP ON BLAME

 Give up on your need to blame others for what you have or don’t have, for what you feel or don’t feel. Stop giving your powers away and start taking responsibility for your life.

4. GIVE UP YOUR SELF-DEFEATING SELF-TALK

 Oh my. How many people are hurting themselves because of their negative, polluted and repetitive self-defeating mindset? Don’t believe everything that your mind is telling you – especially if it’s negative and self-defeating. You are better than that.

“The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive.” Eckhart Tolle

5. GIVE UP YOUR LIMITING BELIEFS

about what you can or cannot do, about what is possible or impossible. From now on, you are no longer going to allow your limiting beliefs to keep you stuck in the wrong place. Spread your wings and fly!

“A belief is not an idea held by the mind, it is an idea that holds the mind” Elly Roselle

6. GIVE UP COMPLAINING

 Give up your constant need to complain about those many, many, maaany things – people, situations, events that make you unhappy, sad and depressed. Nobody can make you unhappy, no situation can make you sad or miserable unless you allow it to. It’s not the situation that triggers those feelings in you, but how you choose to look at it. Never underestimate the power of positive thinking.

7. GIVE UP THE LUXURY OF CRITICISM

Give up your need to criticize things, events or people that are different than you. We are all different, yet we are all the same. We all want to be happy, we all want to love and be loved and we all want to be understood. We all want something, and something is wished by us all.

8. GIVE UP YOUR NEED TO IMPRESS OTHERS

Stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not just to make others like you. It doesn’t work this way. The moment you stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not, the moment you take off all your masks, the moment you accept and embrace the real you, you will find people will be drawn to you, effortlessly.

9. GIVE UP YOUR RESISTANCE TO CHANGE

 Change is good. Change will help you move from A to B. Change will help you make improvements in your life and also the lives of those around you. Follow your bliss, embrace change – don’t resist it.
“Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls” Joseph Campbell

10. GIVE UP LABELS

 Stop labeling those things, people or events that you don’t understand as being weird or different and try opening your mind, little by little. Minds only work when open. “The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don’t know anything about.” Wayne Dyer

11. GIVE UP ON YOUR FEARS

Fear is just an illusion, it doesn’t exist – you created it. It’s all in your mind. Correct the inside and the outside will fall into place.
“The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself.” Franklin D. Roosevelt

12. GIVE UP YOUR EXCUSES

Send them packing and tell them they’re fired. You no longer need them. A lot of times we limit ourselves because of the many excuses we use. Instead of growing and working on improving ourselves and our lives, we get stuck, lying to ourselves, using all kind of excuses – excuses that 99.9% of the time are not even real.

13. GIVE UP THE PAST

I know, I know. It’s hard. Especially when the past looks so much better than the present and the future looks so frightening, but you have to take into consideration the fact that the present moment is all you have and all you will ever have. The past you are now longing for – the past that you are now dreaming about – was ignored by you when it was present. Stop deluding yourself. Be present in everything you do and enjoy life. After all life is a journey not a destination. Have a clear vision for the future, prepare yourself, but always be present in the now.

14. GIVE UP ATTACHMENT

This is a concept that, for most of us is so hard to grasp and I have to tell you that it was for me too, (it still is) but it’s not something impossible. You get better and better at with time and practice. The moment you detach yourself from all things, (and that doesn’t mean you give up your love for them – because love and attachment have nothing to do with one another,  attachment comes from a place of fear, while love… well, real love is pure, kind, and self less, where there is love there can’t be fear, and because of that, attachment and love cannot coexist) you become so peaceful, so tolerant, so kind, and so serene. You will get to a place where you will be able to understand all things without even trying. A state beyond words.

15. GIVE UP LIVING YOUR LIFE TO OTHER PEOPLE’S EXPECTATIONS

Way too many people are living a life that is not theirs to live. They live their lives according to what others think is best for them, they live their lives according to what their parents think is best for them, to what their friends, their enemies and their teachers, their government and the media think is best for them. They ignore their inner voice, that inner calling. They are so busy with pleasing everybody, with living up to other people’s expectations, that they lose control over their lives. They forget what makes them happy, what they want, what they need….and eventually they forget about themselves.  You have one life – this one right now – you must live it, own it, and especially don’t let other people’s opinions distract you from your path.

Looking on the bright side

I was looking out the window of my office the other day, and I saw a grouping of balloons flying up... up... and away- right before my eyes.  Take away the environmental hazards associated with errant balloons flying around, and you may feel what I did.  Which is a feeling of hope, and awe and joy.  I felt like it was a little symbol of happiness that was inserted into my otherwise mediocre day.

Thank you, world!  I needed that :)

Crazy Laughs

Sometimes I say outlandish things because -I can- and because it makes people laugh. So does, N, my man-piece (aka. fiance).

This is what he did to me in the middle of the frozen foods section of the grocery store a few weeks ago.  I was laughing too hard to be embarrassed.

Go ahead and do it- put yourself out there and make someone laugh today!

Misconceptions

By now most of you know that I'm a fairly faithful person.  It's important to me, and guides me in my life.

When I hear people that are disappointed in their faith, I feel sad for them. It always seems like outside factors affect their ability to appreciate their religion for what it is supposed to be.

I read this article about how much perceived judgement and hate force most people, especially young people, away from Christianity.

"When asked by The Barna Group what words or phrases best describe Christianity, the top response among Americans ages 16-29 was “antihomosexual.” For a staggering 91 percent of non-Christians, this was the first word that came to their mind when asked about the Christian faith. The same was true for 80 percent of young churchgoers. (The next most common negative images? : “judgmental,” “hypocritical,” and “too involved in politics.”) "

I'm an Orthodox Christian, so I can speak with certainty about my faith alone.  What I know for sure is that my faith is one of love.  It's one comprised of sinners of all kinds- it doesn't matter what they are.  They are all equally judged by God.  That being the case, I'm going to let Him take care of that leg work, and I'm going to love everyone as much as I'm possible, no matter where they are coming.  That is what Jesus taught us to do, and our goal, as Christians, is to attempt to imitate his life as much as we are able to.

I know that there are people out there that are mean and judgmental.  But I hope that folks keep in mind that there are others that strive not to be.  My approach is a far more liberal interpretation than the conservative one mentioned in this article- but you know what they say about opinions, everyone has one.  Just for kicks, if anyone is interested, here's another article from the gay christian perspective.

Jesus hung out with (and LOVED!) prostitutes, criminals, tax collectors - all the folks that were shunned by normal society.  Who do you hang out with?

Relationships

How many good friends do you have?  How many relationships did you have that simply don't exist anymore?  I ask because I think we've all been in the position where we look around us and all of the sudden someone who used to be so present in our lives, isn't there any longer.  We may have lost touch.  They may have moved away.  Perhaps they got into a relationship and now they are far too busy with their new life.

When it happens it is sad- unless it's not.  Sometimes, you may not even notice until it is too late and irreparable damage is done.  Then again, according to studies, we only have a fixed amount of capacity to manage the number of relationships in our life.  That number is 150.  So you either trim the fat and get rid of some of that excess baggage in your life, or you step it up and realize you have the capacity to serve the relationships you have better than you are.

Phonies

I could have a 10 part series on phonies- although I'd probably save a lot of time and just tell you that I think it's a waste of time for people to be anything BUT AUTHENTIC.

That being said, we find frauds everywhere we look.  Even in restaurants.  I read this article this morning and I was aggravated beyond belief.  Why on earth do we tolerate this?  It's absolutely unacceptable.

What am I talking about?  Restaurants will say they are selling you Chilean Sea bass, but in reality, they are supplying you with a cheaper fish.  

Tolerance

From President George Washington's letter to the Hebrew Congregation in Newport, Rhode Island, 18 August 1790.


"The Citizens of the United States of America have a right to applaud themselves for having given to mankind examples of an enlarged and liberal policy: a policy worthy of imitation. All possess alike liberty of conscience and immunities of citizenship. It is now no more that toleration is spoken of, as if it was by the indulgence of one class of people, that another enjoyed the exercise of their inherent natural rights. For happily the Government of the United States, which gives to bigotry no sanction, to persecution no assistance requires only that they who live under its protection should demean themselves as good citizens, in giving it on all occasions their effectual support."


If our first President could figure this out over 222 years ago, why are we -as a country- still struggling with the concept?  

Not to, to tattoo ?

Almost everyone I know has a strong conviction about tattoos.  Some hate them.  Some love them.  Some don't care.

I think they can be cool.  I think some of them are ridiculous.  I think some are tacky.  I think some of them are works of art.  Like any work of art, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

I decided to wait it out until it feels right, one way or another.  I know what I'd want to get, and there is a reason why.

Kyrie Elesion, or   is Greek for "Lord have mercy," which is one of the most succinct prayers Christians have been using for two thousand years. It means a lot to me.  I want to be forced to commit myself to what it means, no matter what.  I'm not the only one who feels the same way.  Because when I goggled it, there were many others who had the same bright idea, to put their tattoo in the same location.

In fact, other Orthodox Christians place a tattoo signifying their faith on their hands, and have for centuries.

I don't want to let the opinions of others influence me.  I want to do this for me, and I want to be proud of it.  I also want to be able to cover it up if I chose to :)

When you are on your deathbed...

When you are on your deathbed, you are NEVER going to say, "man, I wish I had worked more!"  It's just not going to happen.

I think it's something to keep in mind when you are having a bad day at work.  Sometimes (a lot of times), I feel overwhelmed about the responsibilities I have.  I get anxious.  Then I reconsider my feelings and I know that I'm being foolish.  It's not worth it.

When I'm on my deathbed, or when I'm older and retired, I'm going to think about how I wish I had taken more chances, had more fun, laughed more, loved more, told people why they are so awesome to me-  so WHY WAIT?

According to this article, I'm not alone.  Most people, studies show, regret the below:

• wish they'd had the courage to live a life true to themselves, not the life others expected of them
• wish they hadn't worked so hard
• wish they'd had the courage to express their feelings
• wish they had stayed in touch with friends
• wish that they had let themselves be happier

Why moms are awesome

When times are tough my mom (pretty much the only person who comments EVERY time I post here) is always there for me.  Always.

This video below reminds me of what parents, especially moms will do for their kids.  Anything.  Absolutely anything it takes to protect the babies they love.

Tomorrow is Mother's Day.  Be sure to call up your mom and tell her you love her.

Where did that come from?

Ever wonder where an idea from?  Or where a saying originated?  I've often thought I was the genius who came up with some funny saying- and then I realize I stole it from a movie.  Idiot!

I saw the below and it reminded me how much we owe to those before us, in more ways than one.  Today, we should appreciate Shakespeare for shaping our culture and our language.

Negotiations in Relationships

I'm beginning to learn a bit more about what negotiation means in a relationship.  To be more clear, I'm speaking of romantic relationships.  I've negotiated with my friendships for over Thirty years, and I'm pretty good at it for the most part.

But coming to terms with how to incorporate someone else's life into my own, and vice versa is requiring a whole new level of perspective.

Repeat after me:  YOU HAVE TO GIVE A LITTLE.  Both people have to.

Reminds me of a song from one of my favorite movies.

My Religion

In case you were wondering where I'm coming from, and why I mention my spirituality from time to time, this is why- this is what it's about.  My faith is why I am able to be patient and kind (most of the time).  My faith is why I go the extra mile for those I love.  My faith is a large part of why I am who I am.

Perspective

Thoughts on perspective.  Simply thought provoking.  Watch it:

Never Give Up!

A great example of someone fighting the good fight- never give up!

Think Different

A blogging/internet friend of mine (who has since become a very good friend whom I talk to almost every day) wrote about the below video on her blog here.  It moved me, just as it moved her.

Starting Fresh

 I think there is something to be said for fresh starts.  I'm not great at them since I'm known for holding onto my baggage.  But there is a utility in dropping off a heavy load.  Leave it where it lays.  And then, run for the hills as fast as you can.

I thought of this after I located a nest of baby Robin's nesting in my hanging planter by my front door.  I was super exhilarated to spot them, and then immediately concerned that my close proximity to them would endanger them.  I started praying that the momma Robin wouldn't abandon them.

However, it seems like the babies are coming along.  Another two have hatched within the last two days.  I think it is the coolest turn of events ot have happened at my house.

It only takes 20 seconds of courage, right? Give it a try.

Just be Solid.

Don't be great.  Just be solid.  This comes from an article about graduates and I couldn't agree more.  

You MAY be great in the future, but there is so much outside of your control, you would be setting yourself up for failure.

Charles Wheelan also notes:
On his first piece of advice: Your time in fraternity basements was well spent.
On his second piece of advice: Some of your worst days lie ahead.
Don't make the world worse- (use your talent for good not evil) 
Marry someone smarter than you are. 
Help stop the Little League arms race
Read obituaries -to get clues about how people get to where they end up
Don't model your life after a circus animal
Your parents don't want what is best for you-They want what is good for you
It's all borrowed time


On his final guidance to graduates: Don't try to be great.


I think that is the best advice.... 

Anxiety and Spirituality

"I love what St. Paul says in Philippians, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." Phil. 4:6-7. Friends, so soften when we face anxieties and worries, we spend hours and hours trying to figure how to solve them, how to resolve the problem. But many times, those worries and anxieties are totally out of our control. No matter how much we think about, we can't solve it. And the more we think about them, the more we try to solve problems that are out of our control, the more we lose our peace. Too many people today are walking around without any joy, because they are allowing their anxieities and worries to dictate their joy. 


But my challenge for you on this Monday is to do like St. Paul and not be anxious, but present your problems to God.Tell our heavenly Father what you are facing, what are your anxieties, and then tell Him how thankful you are for all He has done in your life. Listen, always ask yourselves when those worry and anxiety thoughts come to your mind, how much control do I have on this anxiety? If the answer is, "I don't have any control," then realize that thinking about it, will only take away precious time on this earth. Leave it at the footsteps of God and realize that no matter what you are facing today, no matter what is out of your control, it is not out of the control of God to resolve it. No matter what comes AGAINST you, it is not greater than our God who is INSIDE of you."
-Fr. Nicholas Louh
St. John the Divine Greek Orthodox Church

Marriage Advice from Others

I think I may have mentioned how now that the world knows I'm getting married I get a lot of unsolicited marriage advice.  Everywhere, Everyday, even from my termite man, which I recently reported to you.  

"Don't undercut your spouse in public (rip them up in private)" - This sage advice came from a random lady I spoke to on the phone through work today.  I've never talked to her before, and I'll probably never talk to her again.  But she was sweet and nice and made me laugh in the middle of a work day.  She told me about her failed marriage and some mistakes she made.  The biggest mistake was staying with her ex-husband as long as she had. But she was still proud of her marriage simply because it produced her daughter and thereafter, two grandsons.  

While I would never look forward to conflict or getting into an argument with N, I think she raised a great point. I'm a big joker, and it would be really easy to use N as bait for a joke here and there.  But it's not fair or nice to use those vulnerabilities against him.  

Play nice, KG.  Play nice....

Do you want to feel connected?

We are connected.  To each other. To our universe.  Just by being alive.

Check out this most astounding fact about our universe:

What is family?

Family means different things to different people.  To some people it means those whom you share a biological connection with.  To others, its the people you choose to surround yourself with, to share your life with.

I think it is both.

I have the family I was born into.  My father, mother and two sisters.  There are my best friends whom I have shared my whole life with- the ins and outs of every single little detail that has brought me to where I am today.  And now, there is the man that I will marry and hopefully, one day, the children we will have.  That will be my newest family.

When I saw the picture above complete with a father, mother and baby puppies, I couldn't help but think that those animals have the most innate understanding of what family is defined by.  Family is defined by support, kindness and generosity of care.  We could learn a lot from them.