Growing Up

this was june of this year, and she already
looks older than this

My niece is 16 years younger than I am.  Actually, 16 and a half years.  I've helped raised her.  I'm her god mother.  I'd do anything for her- she' a part of me.

Now that she is 14 and a half going on 24 I feel the need to be present and available to help provide instruction, support and love when necessary.  Then again, she thinks she needs my help less than she ever did.  Talk about a conundrum.

The best part of her going through her teen angst with her is that I remember so vividly how awful it was for me.  I try to give her first hand accounts of why following in my footsteps is a mistake.  She may never listen, but I know one thing for sure-  I am damn glad I grew up and I'm not stuck in that morass any more.

Christmas Time is here

my christmas tree 2011

Days before Thanksgiving was even upon us, I felt like the rest of the world was trying to shove Christmas down my throat.  I simply wasn't ready yet!  But if there is one thing I know for sure, it's that the world doesn't stop just because I ask it to.

So, the day after Thanksgiving I went to the store, got some new ornaments to freshen up my fake tree.  My niece came over and helped me put it together.  It's a pretty good looking tree if I do say so myself.

I'll be working hard to stay in the Christmas spirit- full of cheer and good will.  It's a challenge given how overwhelming all the details surrounding the holidays require.

While I'm waiting for Christmas, I'll find solace in Charlie Brown.  He know's how confusing it all is.

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Roots

I have the privledge of being a part of a rich legacy of Greek ancestors.  Three of my four grand parents were born here in the US.  My great grandparents came here around 1914- almost 100 years ago.  I have a great grand father who fought in World War I, a grand father who fought in World War II and a father that fought in the Vietnam War for our country.  The ladies of my family have always been committed to helping those less fortunate.  They are known for their charity work.  Honor and generosity run in the genes.

In short, I'm proud to be a part of my family.

Last night my father was telling me about his father's family.  They are from the island of Cephalonia -he hasn't been back in almost thirty years.  He brought out these hand drawn family trees to describe who our family is.  I was mystified.  Sailors who fell overboard never to be seen again, a Priest who liked ladies more than he liked being a Priest, and lots of people with the same names.  There's a lot of intrigue when you start digging into a few centuries worth of history.  I loved it.  Knowing where I come from makes me a better person.

Be the change

Do you ever get the feeling that someone else came up with your brilliant idea right before you had the ability to act on said great idea?  I have.  Do you ever feel like you aren't able to do enough to help those who need it in a big way?  I do.  Daily!

Ghandi said, "Be the change you want to see in the world" which I believes you have to stand up and take action.  There is no time for excuses or hypocrisy.

This gentleman certainly found a way to "be the change" in a simple, yet creative way.  He gets the used soap from hotels, recycles it by breaking it down, has it reformed again, and brings it to Africa to help fight their simple problem.  Clean hands reduces the rates of deaths associated with diarrhea 40%.  As he says, "we're humans, we've gone to the moon and back, we can do this!"  Amen.

Small town

When I was younger I hated living in my boring small suburban home town. I wanted to be cooler. I wanted to live in a city where I could be more anonymous. That way, everyone wouldn't know my business. Now that I'm older my perspective has changed. This isn't the first (nor the last) time that my opinions changed with time, as I grow and re examine what I think I know to be true.

Today, at 9:30 in the morning I ran into my grand parents at the hair salon. I wasn't supposed to be there at that time but I moved my appointment last minute. I forgot that my grandmother has a standing hair appointment every Saturday morning. Plus, we use the same stylist and have for over 15 years.

What a treat to see them when I least expected! I could probably get my hair done closer to my current house, or even somewhere cheaper. However, todays surprise is one of the reasons why I like going back to my home town to get my hair done, my car washed, go to the bank, etc. It's familiar- and still my home.

Pain Inflicted Upon Ourselves

Being hard on yourself is unproductive long term.  There are so many other external factors out there in the world providing us with other reasons to be upset.  But most of us do it anyway.   I know I have, and I've done it for years for many different reasons.  When I was a kid, I didn't have coping mechanisms to deal with how  hard I was on myself, which meant I had to get my frustration and pain out.  The only way that made sense was by trying to physically hurt myself.

It makes me sad to read about all the children that inflict harm upon themselves.  They do it because they are hurt or afraid.  They do it because they feel like they have no other option and they need to feel relief.  It's an epidemic.  I completely understand where kids are coming from.  At least there is more visibility now to help the problem.

"One in 12 young people, mostly girls, engage in self-harming such as cutting, burning or taking life-threatening risks and around 10 percent of these continue to deliberately harm themselves into young adulthood."


This is the same demographic that goes on to commit suicide if they don't get help.  There isn't a lot I can do as an individual, but perhaps it we are exposed to the dangers that are out there, we can keep the information in the back of our minds .  Then maybe we can help if the situation arises.

How much is enough

I've written before about how money can't buy you happiness.  It's apparent, although I can honestly say that because I've been in a position where I haven't had two nickles to rub together and I've been in comfortable financial positions.

Based on recent studies, it appears as though the magic number is $75,000, even in large cities like New York City.  Any more and the satisfaction levels flat line.

Further, the authors of the study "measured happiness along two axes—day-to-day emotional well-being and long-term "life evaluation." The key to the latter is setting realistic goals, but the key to the former is mostly having friends. “Emotional happiness is primarily social,” Kahneman says. “The very best thing that can happen to people is to spend time with other people they like.” (The "life evaluation" measure did continue to rise as income rose above $75,000, researchers note.)"  
*This also explains why people are so happy when they like the people they work with.  

Thank you world

Gobble, Gobble!  Happy Thanksgiving, my dear friends.  It's a shame that we tend to allow the start of the holiday season to obscure what today is all about- being thankful for God's blessings.

I was hanging out with my six year old niece after dinner.  I told her about a six year old I met in Guatemala when I was there a few weeks back.  Gaby is also six years old.  She's sweet, shy and full of joy.  After my niece heard about Gaby, she immediately pulled out her art supplies to make a Christmas Card to send to Gaby.  In it, she introduced herself and wished her a Merry Christmas. Then, she said she wished she could go to Guatemala to meet Gaby one day.  It was the very sweetest Thanksgiving gesture- ever.  It's even better coming from my six year niece and the reminder I needed to keep me on track.

P.S Yes, that is me with my cheesy grin in the picture. When I'm with kids, and especially when I'm helping others, I get this ridiculous cheesy grin.  I think it shows that is when I'm at my best.

Feeling Overwhelmed?

I'm certain I routinely use the word overwhelmed when I describe my life, what is going on and why I'm so darn distracted and busy.  However, I may have decided to ban that word from my everyday vernacular.  It's a crutch I lean on and simply don't need to.  As we know, life comes down to choice.  I've chosen to be busy.
I was reading a blog that suggested to....


"Back away from overwhelm. Because when you just utter that word, you cast doubt on your capacity to rise. You let angst flop on your couch. You fret that you might not have the resources to surmount obstacles or to seal the deal on your dream.

Ban "overwhelmed" from your vocabulary. Refuse it entry to your psyche. You’re bigger than that. Just be, you know, whelmed. Whelmed. Not at full capacity, rather, full of capacity."

Getting Stuck

Sometimes  i feel paralyzed.  I can't make a decision, or I'm too tired to move, or I'm overstimulated and can't focus back on the matter at hand, and I think- " blerg!  I'm stuck again!"

“One of the things I learned the hard way was that it doesn’t pay to get discouraged. Keeping busy and making optimism a way of life can restore your faith in yourself.”―Lucille Ball

According to this expert, if you are stuck, all it takes is starting with the easiest thing first.  That will get you going.  And as my dad is always telling me, "if you take care of the little things, the big things take care of themselves."  

Defensive

"Reject your sense of injury, and the injury itself disappears." -Marcus Aurelius


No one likes a defensive person on the other end of a conversation.  It's a waste of time.  If you are anything like me, you want to immediately tell the other person, "uh, the jig is up- we all know what is going on here."  If the attitude persists, I want to physically maim the other person.  I won't do it, but want to.  

Call me out

There's nothing like being called out about who you are in a friendly and loving way.  I got the below email sent to me from a colleague whom I'm very close to.  I laughed out loud immediately since I had just told her I wasn't all that much of a type of a Type A person.  According to the below, I was wrong.  


"Type A - KG

The theory describes a Type A individual as ambitious, aggressive, business-like, controlling, highly competitive, impatient, preoccupied with his or her status, time-conscious, and tightly-wound. People with Type A personalities are often high-achieving "workaholics" who multi-task, push themselves with deadlines, and hate both delays and ambivalence.

In his 1996 book, Type A Behavior: Its Diagnosis and Treatment, Friedman suggests that Type A behavior is expressed in three major symptoms: free-floating hostility, which can be triggered by even minor incidents; time urgency and impatience, which causes irritation and exasperation; and a competitive drive, which causes stress and an achievement-driven mentality. The first of these symptoms is believed to be covert and therefore less observable, while the other two are more overt.^[3] "

Loss of Inspiration

All of the sudden I have a billion ideas of things to blog about.   I feel like I need to get these feelings out or else they will burst out of me and I'll lose them.  I find it interesting that all of the sudden I feel compelled to evaluate, consider, communicate- where has that been hiding for the past few months?

Eureka!  I found it back in the part of my brain I've been too busy to access.  This is the part of my brain that I have to hide in order to be more productive and efficient in other ways.  This is the part of me that gets distracted and engaged in other thoughts and concepts.  When that happens, I get off course.  Since work has been all encompassing, I think I just put that part of my brain on vacation. Compartmentalism at its best.  But we're back in action now.

Hoped you missed hearing from me as much as I missed writing.

Seasons Change

"Live each season as it passes; breath the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit, and resign yourself to the influences of each."  — Henry David Thoreau


(Note:  I wrote this in early Nov, and failed to post it promptly.  Now, it will be in the 30's at night and the 60's during the day).   Fall is my absolute favorite time of year.  However, this year, on the East Coast, and in particular, in Washington, DC, we have been rushing from Summer into Winter at a rapid pace.  That, my friends, pisses me off.  Why?  Because I'm getting cheated out of a fabulous Autumn with easy breezes, the crisp smell of leaves falling, warm sunsets, etc.  I love me some fall.  

It's another reminder that you can't always get what you want or need.  You simply have to need what you get and deal with it.  Life isn't always as perfect as you desire.  

Why I help homeless people.

Note:  this is me being all religious-y.  This is why I help homeless people.  This is why I don't try to evaluate if they really need the help, I just do it.  I'll let God worry about whether or not the person is trying to take advantage of me.  Did you know that 20-25% of homeless people suffer from mental illnesses, whereas the percentage of occurance in the rest of the  population is 6?  


Why am I telling you this?  Because I had a debate with a few people about the merits of giving generously, freely and cheerfully.  According to the Bible, "Each man (person) should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly, or under compulsion.”  In my experience, a lot of people don't think the homeless deserve to be helped.  I feel that is an ignorant approach to a very real problem.  


Which leads me to something else that I read which inspired this post:
“Christians love one another. They never fail to help widows; they save orphans from those who would hurt them. If a man has something, he gives freely to the man who has nothing. If they see a stranger, Christians take him home and are happy, as though he were a real brother. They don't consider themselves brothers in the usual sense, but brothers instead through the Spirit of God. And if they hear that one of them is in jail, or persecuted for professing the name of their redeemer, they all give him what he needs. If it is possible, they bail him out. If one of them is poor and there isn't enough food to go around, they fast several days to give him the food he needs. This is really a new kind of person. There is something divine in them." From a report given by a pagan official, Aristides, to the Emperor Hadrian (117-138 AD), who was seeking justification to outlaw Christianity

Smiling Big

While I was taking a break during work today, I showed a colleague some pictures from my trip to Guatemala.  I was in Guatemala last week by the way.  That is one of the reasons why I hadn't posted in awhile.  The other reason was that work has been even more crazy than usual.  As an aside, do you ever notice how much work you have to do before and after a vacation?  It makes it seem (almost) as though vacations are a waste.

So, back to the pictures- after she saw them she made a comment.  She recalled the pictures I showed her from my trip last year to Korea.  On that trip, I helped children learn English.  This year, I helped at an Orphanage.  My mission was basically to give the children some love.  The colleague said, "You know what KG?  I think you are at your happiest when you are on your trips.  I've never seen you smile bigger."

I was flattered.  I think she's right.  Check out that cheesy grin.

Sorrow Leads to Progress (unfortunately)

Men can't ignore sexual abuse any more.  When college football in the US gets involved with an unfortunate, horrific abuse scandal, our nation notices.  It can't help but notice the travesty.  And that may be the only good thing to come out of this horrible event.

Penn State, the school, and its Alumni and fans are embarrassed and upset to be associated with a former coach who is accused of abusing little boys he was supposed to be helping.  It appears as though it was at least eight separate young men.

I was proud to see that there is a facebook campaign amongst Penn State Alumni to donate to RAINN-  that is why our country is great.  Despite hardship, folks look for a positive way to take action, even if it simply means donating a few dollars.  At this point, they are already raised about $500K in less than a week.  And that, my friends, is impressive.

In addition, I really appreciate how outraged Alums are- check out Lavar Arrington going off about the situation, here:  

Gabby Giffords is the bravest broad around

When I think about Gabby Giffords, the Congresswoman who was shot through the brain last January, I get overwhelmed.  She was beautiful, smart, vibrant and well intentioned.  That much is obvious, despite your political leanings.

She has been to hell and is on her way back which is evidenced by the recent video report on 20/20 noting her progress.  She still has quite a way to go to recover, but her drastic improvement over the past 11 months is astonishing to the experts- a doctor even noted that sometimes you have to believe in "miracles" with regard to these matters.

What makes me irate, is that Sarah Palin's team published a map of the US and Gabby's district in Arizona was one of the locations where cross hairs were placed.  That is also the exact same location where someone first shot at her local District Office, and later, shot her and killed six other people in the process.  The heading of the graphic notes, "It's time to take a stand" and that is literally what was done.

Our political system is destroyed.  Our politicians are selfish- they care more about getting re-elected and stubbornly sticking to their guns in order to do so, rather than working together to help us.

High Five for everyone

Check this out.... this is a great way to start a day.  The smiles on people's faces are infectious.  You can't help but be happy when you see someone else going out of their way to put a smile on someone else's face.  Try it some time...and then tell me what happens to you: