Little Boys Can't Cry

Last week I was at my adorable baby niece's first birthday party.  There were tons of kids there.  I was overwhelmed by all the chaos, so I steered clear as much as possible.  While I was eating some birthday cake I observed the natives-  it was quite disturbing.  Numerous times, I saw dad's tell their sons to "toughen up," "HEY, that's unacceptable,"  "No whining!"  The girls did not get the same type of treatment.

I know this is reiterating what we already know is true, but seeing it in action made me sad.  No wonder boys grow into men who are afraid or unable to communicate about their feelings or problems.  They are told from a young age to suck it up.

If I ever have kids, I'll try to be fair about the gender stereotypes that parents typically enforce.  It seems like its an ongoing struggle not easily overcome.

Why being a woman is hard work

We still live in a man's world.  Period.  I barely consider myself a feminist by political standards - but I'm an absolute proponent that life should be fair.  I realize that makes me sound naive, but I'm allowed to be an idealist at times.

Men will never understand the challenges the women face.  We have to balance life in a way that men never have to consider.  We are continuously questioned and it is assumed that we are weaker.  I feel that it is necessary to understand the meaning of compromise in order to be a woman in the work place.  It's impossible to make it work otherwise.

When I look at my colleagues who have wives, I'm jealous.  I wish I had a significant other for that reason.  Because I know how much women manage, even if they are working full time themselves.  Women get stuff done, period.  We expect that life will be challenging and that we will have to wear multiple hats at all times.  Without help, I simply can't get my personal life in order.

Shoot, even the White House, with liberal leadership, experiences the gender inequality, according to this recent article.   Further, it was noted that,


"...Part of the problem is that women's worth is consistently undervalued by others. A March 2010 study by the American Association of University Women found that among postdoctoral applicants, women had to publish three more papers in the most prestigious journals, or 20 more in the less-prestigious ones, to be considered as productive as male applicants."

Too much stuff

Have you ever felt overwhelmed by your possessions?  Or perhaps, by the necessity to have things, put things places, get rid of things, fix things, get things, etc?  Consumerism!  Talk about a cluster f/$*it show.

I'm no hoarder, but I've been known to hold on to things long after their utility expired.  I have to force myself to donate or throw away at times.  Often, it's items that have sentimental value that are the hardest to deal with.  The physical remembrance shouldn't matter, our memories are the most important reminder we need in life.

Which brings me to my point.  What if we only had 130 square feet of living space?  I'm so beholden to my possessions I couldn't FIT into a space that small.  However, I feel sheer excitement when I think about the possibility of living in a small space- less space, less problems, less chores, less utility usage.  Less.  Which means more potential contentment.

Oh, by the way, this 16 year old kid, is taking into consideration smart living (as in environmentally friendly) and low cost living (so he doesn't get caught in a situation where he has a mortgage he can't afford).  Smart!

Dream Big

Have you ever shared a dream with someone?  A big dream- something that took a long time to achieve?   The hard work you put forth often left you feeling like there was absolutely no way it was worth it?  Or that the length of time (in my case over five years) felt like an eternity?

I have been scheming and dreaming and working hard to build something.   My dream has been to build an office building so my colleagues can have a great space to work hard in.

In fact, I have a drawing hanging on the wall in my office which I drew in crayon when I was 6 years old.  In the drawing I am standing next to my dream office building I would build with my dad.  Twenty years later, I started making my dream come true.  Technically, this is work.  But my heart has been in this project for a long, long time.

I wouldn't have been able to do this without the help of a lot of really talented people. If I had to do it over again, I would make some changes, but I wouldn't trade in the experience for the world.  Plus, I've been able to build this with my dad, which is really gratifying.

I moved in today, and it felt so great.  When my dad came in to visit me, I saw him taking in the view- me, sitting behind my big girl desk, working hard.  He was proud and excited. Automatically, without saying a word, we both raised up our hands and gave each other a high five and grinned like school kids.  Then we giggled.  Our dream is a reality.  Wahoo!

Unbelievably Rude

I woke up this morning frantic because I remembered calling my friend whom I was supposed to get together with and telling her to just meet me at our golf lesson- I was running late.  Somehow, I slept in til10:45 and I had to be downtown by 11AM.  I was running late.

Except that was a dream.  What wasn't a dream, was how mean spirited the golf coach was.  It was almost unbelievable.  I didn't know what to do.  I felt like this man was chastising me as though I was a petulant child who peed on his leg out of spite.  No matter what we did, he would criticize.  Mind you, I have only been playing for less than a year, and I'm not that bad.

I'll be honest, given that I went there to learn from an expert, the best thing I took away from the experience was laughter (because you better believe we laughed our rears off for the rest of the day, in disbelief because of this guys horrible bedside manner) and to choke up on my wedge when I'm using that iron on the ruff.  Other than that, I felt emotionally abused.

Where do these people come from?  Apparently, some people don't understand that you teach by example, not through intimidation.  Especially not for several 30-50 year olds who are your employer for 50 minutes of their precious time.

The world just got a whole lot smaller

I saw the most amazing thing a few days ago and all I could do was marvel at the beauty of the world.  The images (see video below) were time lapsed from pictures and turned into something that is absolutely one of the most stimulating pieces I have seen.  The birds eye view of our planet impresses me.  It also makes Earth seem quaint -almost.

Then again, I have at least 30 more places I want to go on my life list in the next 10 (or 20) years.  I better get on it.

Can you justify your mean

I was in a meeting at my church this past week.  Someone said something I found pretty repulsive.  He didn't want us to pray for people of other religions.  More specifically, he believes the doctrine of our faith, strictly adhered  to indicates that Priests can't pray for anyone of another faith at the alter.  Seriously.  That doesn't seem to be how I perceive my benevolent and loving God.

It's true- I pick and chose who I think my God is.  Do I think I'm 100% right?  I have no idea.  But then again, I don't think anyone else can say they do with absolute authority either.

What I'm wondering is if this gentleman is cleaving to some archaic interpretation to justify his frustration and anger at those who don't share his exact beliefs? If so, I don't think holding onto that approach is going to get us any closer to getting on the same page.  And that's my ultimate goal (or hope).

Good thing I didn't say any more than I already did from my soap box- I have a tendency of not being able to keep my opinions to myself when I feel like someone is picking on someone else.

Quick Rituals for a Better Day

Write an “Ignore List”

I'll admit it, I have to-do lists for my to-do lists, to re-priorize things.  I've even written things on to-do lists that I had accomplished along the way, just to bolster the sensation that I had accomplished more.  But that's what the crazy happens- I start getting obsessed with the to-do lists.  Not good.  

"Most people have a to-do list, but to succeed in today’s distraction-prone world, you also have to ask yourself: What’s not worth doing? Jot down what you’re willing to disregard—e-mails you have no intention of responding to, vacuuming, the guilt of not vacuuming. Review the list from time to time to make sure that nothing on it is getting your undeserved attention."  

This is from "Real Simple" a magazine which I love.  What a great reminder.  

80/20 Rule

I think I need to read this book, which was a recommendation from my friend:

"From the man who energised legions of people with the 80/20 phenomenon comes a proven, practical programme for anyone who wants to achieve extraordinary results without extraordinary effort. With his first mega-bestseller, The 80/20 Principle, Richard Koch applied a century-old economic principle—80 per cent of results come from 20 per cent of our efforts—to show companies how to drive business performance. The 80/20 Individual showed how to release the potential of the 80/20 principle in the workplace. Living The 80/20 Way applies Koch’s less is more and more with less ideas to your best 20 per cent in everyday life: how to get work you enjoy, how to build stronger relationships with family and friends, and how to unmask the mystery of money."


This certainly changes my perspective regarding effort, and how it's applied.  

Work / Life Balance

"The supreme accomplishment is to blur the line between work and play." - Arnold Toynbee


This is a great quote- but seemingly impossible! But when that line is blurred, the days go by a whole lot quicker.  And that, makes me a happy camper.  

Dog People

I'm a dog person- as soon as I see a dog I smile and instantaneously feel filled with joy and contentment.  Today, a friend sent me this link, and I was laughing and smiling.

Superpower: being single

I know that most people think that being single is akin to a death sentence.  I'd be lying if I didn't see where they are coming from.  Sometimes I get lonely, although its typically when I'm surrounded by couples and I don't want to be the only idiot that isn't paired off.  Other than that, I'm cool.  I promise.  If I want to be around people, I can call up family or friends.  These days I work 12 hours a day-ish, so there isn't a ton of down time left to mope around.  Plus, I don't mine the quiet and alone time.  I treasure it.

The truth is, when I honestly consider the challenges that go into making a relationship work, I start to run in the other direction in my mind.  Hell. to. the. no.  And then I read this article about being single.  It made me laugh.  It was written by someone who is obviously in my boat.  Wish he was single/available/real.  I'd snatch him up.  Or maybe I wouldn't.

A little manners, please!

I try to manage my expectations in life- but sometimes certain things annoy me so much, I can't help but get pissy about it.  For instance, people that are lacking in the manners department?  Why?  Where did you come from?  Go back there.

For instance, impatient people?  Daggers!  It reminds me of this crazy video I saw of a group of people jamming themselves onto a train in China. I can't believe that the wait was so bad that they would tolerate this type of behavior.  Next time someone is in a rush, I'm just going to let them go ahead of me.  Why not?

Walk it off

When I was 13 I was kicked in the mouth during a soccer game.   Here's what happened- I was a Goal Keeper, came out of the box, slid out to save the ball and while I was at it, tackled the oncoming Forward.  I saved the ball in a dramatic fashion.  I felt like a hero.

That incident reminds me of how I have to stay tough in life.  When a coach tells you to "walk it off" as a kid, in the middle of a game- you really don't have a choice.  You gotta get back in.  No time to get upset, or dwell on the pain.  Life moves on if you are, or if you are not ready for it.

I actually still have a small fracture in one of my bottom teeth.  It's a great reminder of how tough I can be when I need to be.

Keep Trucking

From a certain point onward there is no longer any turning back. That is the point that must be reached."
— Franz Kafka


Wait a minute- where is this "certain point" and when am I going to get there?  Isn't that what you are thinking after reading that quote?  Although, I think the point is, you have to keep pushing yourself until you reach the point of no return.  Until then, there is no other option.  

Sadness Revisited: 9-11

I could write 10 different posts about September 11th.  I won't.  It's far too sad, and our society hasn't really changed since 2001.  I realize I shouldn't expect more, but in the weeks after that horrific event, I had a bit of hope.  Then, all that optimism was mired by what I considered insincere patriotism- an Über Nationalistic response to a terrorist act on our own land.

On Saturday, September 10th, I was driving over a bridge from DC back into Virginia.  All along the fence, someone placed flags in recognition of the next day, September 11.  Something about the effort someone had made to put up all those flags touched me and I felt warm tears rush down my cheeks.  They were tears of happiness as well as sadness.  I was inspired by the people who placed the flags on the bridge, and sad for the reason why they had to put them up.

One story that brought tears to my eyes today was this one-  about a Masaii village who was so touched by America's loss in 2001, that they donated not one, but 14 cows to honor us.  (note: cows are their most precious possession).  When people give so much, yet have so little, it gives me perspective about how generous (or not) I am.

Acts of Kindess

This act of kindness touched me.  It seems like the ultimate way to go.  Helping someone out as your last gesture.  Soon after he offered to buy a little kid some cookies, he was killed.  It's a truly sad turn of events, but at least he went out with a bang that really mattered-  and I have to believe that the kid got more than cookies that day, he was taught a life changing lesson about how self-less a person can be.  
--------
But, minutes before he was killed, Officer Jeremy Henwood bought cookies for a 13-year-old he’d never met before. NBC’s Lee Cowan reports.
 http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/3032619/vp/44167629#44167629

What's in a name?

I have a pretty unique first name.  (Thank you ma!)

When I was a kid, I chose a very non-ethnic variant of my name so that I could fit in with my friends who had more traditional American sounding names like Lauren, Sarah, Catherine, Jessica, Nicole, Allison etc.  I just wanted to fit in.

By the time I was 18, I realized that I had a cool name, and being unique was a good thing.  My old friends from growing up still call me by my nickname which I'm not really all that fond of anymore.  Their position is- uh, we know you as X, we aren't going to just start calling you Y- that would be weird.  I get that.

For me, over time, people have called me many things affectionately (and otherwise).  The nickname I prefer from friends these days is KG (my initials).  My besties came up with a funny name which rhymes with my own which is a part of the female anatomy (funny, but not my preference).

My favorite nicknames are the ones from when I was the youngest.  My grand dad still calls me "Rosebud" and my mom calls me "Baby" (or "Bebitsa" in Greek, which means littlest baby) since I'm the youngest.  Every time I hear them call me that, my heart melts.  What name do you prefer?

Say something nice

I've had so many experiences in my life where my day is made brighter by something seemingly insignificant.  I saw the below video and knew immediately, that I would have been thrilled if I had walked by this scene.  Be nice to a stranger today!  It matters.  

Multiplicity

There is NOT enough time in the day to get done what I need to.  Plus, whenever I don't get enough done, I feel guilty.  Not to mention, if I focus too much on myself, I feel like I'm slacking at work.  Where's the balance?  The answer is, there isn't at this point. I'm not good at it.

Solution?  Multiple KG's.

Anyone know a scientist that can clone my awesome genes?  Please get in touch.  Thanks!

Art as inspiration

I was driving to work a few months ago and I stopped at a stop light right by my house.  I had just got my coffee at my 7-11 (you know, the one that I go to every morning that reminds me of "Cheers").  Immediately to my right at the bus stop was a startling scene:  a post which was covered in yarn.  It almost appeared as though it was a leg warmer, but on a pole.  I thought that the homeless looking lady that typically hangs around that bus stop had done it.

Flash forward a few months, and I see a post on my neighborhood facebook page.  Apparently, I'm not the only one that noticed the work.  Further, research revealed that this leg warmer is a trend from Canada.  "Yarn Bombing" is considered knit graffiti.  I'm serious.

To be fair, I was confused at first, but then I realized, anyone that tries to bring a bit more color and beauty to this work we live in should be appreciated. Thank you Yarn Bombers!

A lesson in Gratitude

Thank you.  More please.  Say it all the time. Right now.  Because bliss is your birth right. And the key to your life is gratitude   You need to give enough thanks.  With gratitude the universe is truly abundant.  Thank you, more please.  Thank you, more please.  

While watching a move, "Happy.Thankyou.More.Please" one of the characters recalled a lesson she learned from a cab driver regarding a way to experience the bliss innate in this world.  The monologue paraphrased above inspired me a bit.  You never know when you'll find your next tidbit of inspiration in the world.  It may be a cab driver.  Or someone you meet in an elevator.  Your friend. Neighbor.

Bad Habits

• "Habit is overcome by habit." — Thomas a Kempis
• "Habit converts luxurious enjoyments into dull and daily necessities."— Aldous Huxley

I think the quote-of-the-day omen struck me this week.  Both of the above quotes were sent to me within a few days of each other.  It left me wondering if it was a coincidence or a sign that I should examine all my habits.  Bad habits, more specifically.  It seems like those are the only ones that stick out to me.  Hmm- what is a good habit I have?  Maybe one of you can help me with a few suggestions.

I'm currently considering what inspires a habit.  Is it a more subtle form of a addiction? If so, the first quote seems apt.  In order to rid yourself of one irksome habit, you need to replace that need with something else all together.

hab·it

¹    [hab-it]  Show IPA

noun

1.

an acquired behavior pattern regularly followed until it has become almost involuntary.

I learned today (thanks to coworkers) that I whistle like my dad does- I assume I acquired the habit - involuntarily.  I suppose that isn't a horrible habit.  Unless you hate whistling.  Next up: an assessment of all my bad habits and what to do about them.  

Hilarity

The little things in life are really what keep me going.  This morning I was minding my business on my way to work, taking work calls, planning my day- in general, I was getting my work game face on.  I was almost there.  And then, I got a phone call from my bestie.  I had to screen her since I was already on a work call.

Less than a minute later I saw her car right in front of me!  I immediately realized why she was calling.  As soon as I could, I called her back, pulled up next to her and put my window down.  "heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!", I shouted.  Since that portion of the commute is bumper to bumper traffic, we actually had a brief conversation as we drove along.  Awesome.

Seriously- best morning surprise ever.  I love running into my favorite people when I least expect it.  It makes something mundane, exciting and fun.