Forgiveness (part II)

I was with my best girl E driving today, which almost always leads to a meaningful chat.  The conversation steered toward forgiveness.  She had just read an article in "Oprah" about the health benefits of forgiving others. Life's not fair.  Bad things happen.  But holding onto a grudge, not forgiving doesn't do you any favors. According to the article, "Not moving on—hanging on to resentment and rage—is tantamount to having an existential tantrum."

How often have you heard the saying, "I'll forgive, but I won't forget?"  I think that statement is nonsense, and a cop-out.  Every time I hear someone say it, in my mind I'm thinking, "liar."  Are you truly forgiving, if you can't (or won't) forget?  I don't think so.  Because every time you remembered whatever it is that happened, the pain will still be there.

Long term, your best bet may be that the sting will lesson.  And perhaps you may be so informed by the incident you treat people better than you were treated.  But most people never forget, unless you are able to easily go to your happy place. 

Peace

I see and hear the peace sign used everywhere in many contexts.  My 6 year old niece LOVES having the peace sign on her clothes, backpack, accessories...everywhere.  I have used the word, "Peace!" as a salutation, giving light to the use in everyday hip hop culture (note:  I am not very hip hop, but just fell into using it for fun).  That context isn't necessarily used as a  plight to end conflict.  In fact, maybe it is.

Personally, I like thinking of all the peace signs as a reminder that inner peace and tranquility should be a personal priority in each of our lives.  Perhaps if that was a goal for us, then we wouldn't be so focused on perpetrating conflict and malice.

I was listening to NPR today and they were chatting about dinner party conversation topics.  A suggestion was the inception for the peace sign, which is why I am writing about it now.  The symbol is something I have taken for granted since I first noticed what the peace sign was in 1987-ish.

I'll never forget when my big sister brought home a peace sign necklace which had a huge peace sign dangling off of it.  Our mom, a devout Christian, heard that the peace sign was an anti-Christian symbol, and wasn't too happy about the situation.  It appears there is some validity to the similarity of the design itself and an inverted crucifix used to hang Christian martyrs upside down.  The actual "Peace" context used since the late 1950's was part of the campaign for nuclear disarmament and based from the naval code of semaphore - the code letters for N and D (nuclear disarmament).

It's important to challenge our pre-conceived notions. You never know how time will change our opinions.  Often, a tiny piece of seemingly insignificant information will inform a whole new perspective.

Celebrate your achievements

There are plenty of horrible days, bad things that happen to us, and negativity in the world.  So, when we have a great day, good things happen to us, and find some positivity, we need to celebrate it for ourselves and for those that are in our lives.  As Walt Whitman* says in "Leaves of Grass,"

I CELEBRATE myself;
And what I assume you shall assume;
For every atom belonging to me, as good belongs to you.

Check out this guy who knows how to celebrate after a successful wedding at Westminster.

* Coincidentally, while in London in 2006, a friend of a friend of a friend started babbling at a crowded bar about  how he went to Cambridge and was getting his PhD in History.  He was very confidant of his awesomness, which isn't necessarily a bad thing.  In his spare time, and more importantly, he was a musician.  While at the bar, divine inspiration stuck; he shouted in his British accent above the thundering noise in the bar, "I have a brilliant idea for a lyric"... and he sung to my best girl and me, "I celebrate myself!"

He then proceeded to text himself the lyric so he could remember it.  I never forgot his brand of crazy, and then I read the above BY WALT WHITMAN.  It turns out someone was plagiarizing and it took me five whole years to figure it out.  Guess we both should have paid more attention in English class.

Getting Bolder as we get Older

I get niblets of inspiration about what to write on this blog from....everywhere. In fact, I'll take little notes on a moleskin booklet I keep with me at all times.  Sometimes, in hindsight, my notes look like the crazy writings of an escapee from the insane asylum.  However, every now and again, I am able to decipher a gem, and relay it to you.

One such idea came from a conversation with my oldest friend.  The one that knows everything about me, even the things I forget.  And when I say everything, I mean it!
We were talking about how things that used to intimidate us when we were younger, don't really anymore.  It seems that as we get older, we don't have the luxury of being nervous or shy at awkward situations.  Just dive in, stare that elephant in the room right in the eye, and get on with it! The gist of our conversation was we both equally agree that living audaciously as we grow is the way to do it.  Life is too short, otherwise.

No appologies

Do you ever notice (especially if you are a woman) that you apologize for everything?  Even inane things that aren't your fault?  Why do we always take blame for things?  Is it to make the other person feel better?  Is it because we really feel like it's our fault?  Probably not.

This is nonsense!  Quit that tomfoolery immediately.  Only say you are sorry if you are mean, rude, trip someone, etc.  And never say you are sorry if you aren't.  You will just come off as insincere.

Forgiveness

“He that cannot forgive others, breaks the bridge over which he himself must pass if he would ever reach heaven; for everyone has need to be forgiven”  -George Herbert 

Anything that makes you happy is never lame!

I was lucky enough to get an email out of the blue from my cousin (through marriage) whom I rarely have the pleasure to see or catch up with.

This is the type of girl I'd be friends with even if there wasn't a familial connection.  She had randomly read, "Love is Letting Go of Fear" before I even met her, so it's fair to say that we both felt a connection when we started talking about life and what it's all about years ago.  

In an email to her I admitted that my new favorite hobby (aside from being horrible at golf) is my blog, which I feared she would think was lame.  She quickly wrote back, in her true awesome way, and said, "Anything that makes you happy is never lame!" What a lesson that I needed to hear.  Who cares if I'm lame anyway?

Generosity

Being generous is easier for some folks than others.  

I grew up watching how generous my parents were with their time and whatever they had to give to anyone who needed anything. Both of them are good people and through watching them, I think I continue to try to be at least a little bit as generous as they are.

Life has a way of proving to you that you can still be shocked by unexpected things like someones overly generous nature. In fact, today I was the beneficiary of someone going above and beyond to be generous to me.  It was a big and huge thing, not just a simple kind gesture like holding a door open.  I'm speechless and humbled and can't even begin to determine how to repay this wonderful person back.  And the truth is, it's the circumstances that surround this gesture that make this generous act that much more meaningful to me.  You know who you are and I will continue to thank you from the bottom of my heart.  I'll never forget it.  

Happiness Takes Work!

Happiness is not the absence of problems; but the ability to deal with them. - H. Jackson (Jack) Brown Jr.

Happiness is an attitude. We either make ourselves miserable, or happy and strong. The amount of work is the same. - Francesca Reigler

As long as we structure our lives in a way where our happiness is dependent upon something we cannot control, then we will experience pain. - Tony Robbins

Be Happy For those you love

"For the love of God and my sisters (so charitable towards me) I take care to appear happy and especially to be so"
— St. Therese of Lisieux

Admit when you don't know

Similar to admitting when you are wrong, it's important to realize when to admit what you don't know.  There is a power in it.  As Harvard Business School writes,
"Many managers are afraid to utter things like: "I don't know," "Would you help me?" or "I'm not sure I get it." But failing to admit when you make a mistake or lack knowledge makes you less effective. When you pretend to know everything, you miss opportunities to learn. And if you try to hide your ignorance or your errors, you'll lose peoples' trust. They know when you don't know something or make an error. Fess up when you're in those situations. Acknowledge your own limitations so others can do the same. And when you need it, ask for help and be open to learning."
I think it's fair to say, we are never too old to keep learning.  

Revenge

Has anyone mistreated you lately?  So much so, that all you can think about is plotting to get them back?

I have to admit that my thoughts have permeated around the concept of revenge a lot in the past 10 months.  It seems like it would be satisfying, and indeed my actions would be justified.
 
Plus, it's really exhausting and I'd rather place my efforts elsewhere.  In reality, the truth is:

"Living well is the best revenge" -George Herbert

VOTE FOR ME! VOTE FOR ME!

I entered a contest to win a $10,000 trip giveaway, which I probably won't win..but I would be SUPER excited if I did.  Please vote for me here!  

Laughter- Tina Fey Style

Tina Fey cracks me up!  Why?  Because she's nice and normal and highlights the awesomeness of the every day nerd, like myself.  I think those of us that love her see a little bit of ourselves in her.  If you watch 30 Rock you know what I mean.  If you had the opportunity to see her live at  her book signing tour like I did (see my pic over to the right!), you know what I mean.  In real life she is even more awesome than you could anticipate.

An article from someone who was at the event noted:
"she is so calm in public, so sweetly awkward and effortlessly funny. She's accessible, in a way that most stars aren't. Sure, actresses will talk about how they love to hang out in sweatpants and eat tacos in Self, but Fey is the kind of person you could not only imagine doing that with, but with whom that would likely be the activity of choice."


I'm looking forward to reading her new book, "Bossypants."   She's probably be the funnest mom ever based on the short essay she wrote to her daughter.

The best take away from appreciating someone like her is... find someone or something that makes you laugh.  It's good for your health!  

*Note:  She is half-Greek, which may explain a good portion of her awesomeness.  Plus, when I told her I was Greek as she signed my book, she said "Kali Nikta," or "Good night" in Greek to me! I died :-)

No one wins with Blame

"If you make it a habit not to blame others, you will feel the growth of the ability to love in your soul, and you will see the growth of goodness in your life."
— Leo Tolstoy


Sometimes we are wronged and the only sensible thing to do is to complain about it and appropriately blame whoever is at fault.  It simply feels better.  But soon thereafter, we are often left with a bitter pill.  Regret.  I've blamed others for mistakes and even gotten mad about it.  Thereafter, I wished I had simply kept my mouth shut and started to focus on a solution instead of focusing on what caused a problem to begin with.  


Don't blame other folks for your own mistakes, or worse, point out their mistakes and make them feel even worse.  

Appreciating other cultures

I have wanted to go to a Seder Dinner for a long time.  Why?  I'm not quite sure.  I think it was because it seemed like a cool party I wanted to be invited to.  Plus, I knew there was alcohol involved.

It's great to realize that other cultures can teach us so much about our own.  I appreciate what I learned about the Jewish culture.  But more importantly, I took away the beauty of the similarities that my Christian Greek Orthodox religion shares with the Jewish.

There were similarities of renewal and following a path to the ultimate Exodus (or salvation for us Christians), Spring cleaning (or a catharsis) and many more.  Of course, let's not forget the food. The Greeks and the Jewish folks are equally all about the food.

As I drove home, all I could think about was how silly it was that we all can't focus more on the strengths of the similarities we share in life, instead of the differences.  If we could, it would be a far more peaceful place.
*And below, a funny passover themed video for your viewing pleasure.

Say Thank You!

As I've already established many times, I think it's the little things that really make life great.  One of the little things that matters is saying, "thank you!" for things big and small.

Yesterday I got my teeth cleaned as I typically do a few times a year.  I have been going to the same dentist since I was about 12 years old.  And I really enjoy chatting with him, even though his hands are in my mouth most of the time.

He was giving me an update on his niece whom I know he loves very much.  He has actively participated in her life and helped to financially support her.  He gave gifts, helped pay for college and her wedding.  It was sad though, because when I asked how thankful she must be, he said that she never really said thank you.  I'm assuming someone never taught her the necessity to give thanks for the things, big and small, that you receive.  But as an adult, there really is no excuse.  I recognize this is an extreme case- but it just comes off as greediness.

Don't forget to say THANK YOU!

Happiness in America

It's hard to focus on ourselves sometimes, when we have work to place our attention on.  If you have ever been to Europe or met a European, you know their attitude about the work/life balance is a bit different.  This article indicates that Europeans are smarter than us! I kid.  They simply prioritize things a bit differently.

The good news is that statistics show Americans have a good handle on the reality of a work/life balance.  We have to work to make the money we need to survive.  Regardless of how many hours we work, we are typically able to maintain the same level of happiness.  Life isn't perfect, but even if it were, and we won the lottery, we'd still have issues.  Instead, work to live, don't live to work.

Do Good, Feel Good

Why is it that we ignore the most simplest concepts?  Do Good.  It's simply the right thing to do.

I've learned through great advice and later through experience that each of us has either time (volunteer), talent (your skillz) or treasure ($$$)  to contribute to the world.  If you don't have money to give- that's ok! You have plenty of other gifts to share with the world.  You just have to be open enough to give them.

Check these folks out at Catchafire.  They are a perfect example of what happens when someone comes up with a creative way to share their gifts.  Find  your venue or your cause and watch what happens.

The happier you are, the more you give.  The more you give, the happier you are.  And studies show that happy people who give, are more successful and less stressed.

Happy 6 Man

I went to get my oil/filter changed last week, and really would have rather been doing anything else. When I went into the shop my sister called and wanted to catch up.  We started chatting and a lady seated in the waiting area immediately chastised me for speaking inside while she tried to work.   I apologized and went outside. I had a great time speaking with my sister.  Was able to see a friend running down the street and give my regards. And since I was waiting outside I was able to help an old man in a wheel chair who was an amputee get inside the shop.

By the time I went inside the old man was speaking to a Mechanic and his personality filled the store.  I was trying to read a golf magazine, but was easily distracted by his booming voice and charisma.  Suddenly, he came over and started chatting with me.  In the past, I may have been irritated or too shy to engage in a conversation.  But for some reason I felt comfortable enough and had one of the best conversations with a person I'll probably never see again.
He told me about how he was in the Korean War and lost his leg there at the age of 20, just two months before he was scheduled to go home.  We shared our appreciation for Korea and the Korean people since I was there last summer and my dad served there in 1984 for a year.  He told me about how it was to lose his leg at such a young age and also how he was slated to join the Yankees and had a full ride to college.  But life (and a lost limb) got in the way.
Despite the hardships of this mans life, he was thankful to still have his life and lives each day to the fullest.   We spoke for about 20 minutes but I could have for hours.  My great-grandfather, grandfather, dad and brother-in-law all served our country.  Speaking to this man reminded me of how much these service people need to be appreciated for their sacrifices.
He was an inspiration!  He was open and loving.  And his optimism was infectious.  Even the crotchety lady from earlier started smiling and participating in the conversation.
Don't be afraid of engaging in a conversation with a random person.  You never know what you are going to get.  As I pulled away from the parking lot, I saw his license plate, "HAPY6MN."  Perfect fit.

Cheerleading....but not the kind my sister was

We have a duty to encourage one another. Many a time a word of praise or thanks or appreciation or cheer has kept a man on his feet. Blessed is the man who speaks such a word.  William Barclay

Have you ever given someone a high five?  Or told them that they could do it? Or shouted on a side line?  It feels good to give someone a little encouragement.  All too often we are focused on ourselves.  Or assume that another person doesn't need or want anyone to interject their thoughts into their lives. But a simple word of encouragement goes a long way.  I love to surprise random people with little tidbits of optimism. Seeing their look of gentle shock is reward enough because it means that they have been too jaded to assume that there is a kind word around the corner.  Give someone a high five or a word of encouragement today!  Tell me what happens :-)
*The picture is an actual instruction on how to give high fives. I know there are some of you out there that are what I like to call, High Five Challenged (you know who you are).  Simply look at the elbow of the other person's hand.  You will never miss!

Communication Styles

Have you ever walked away from a conversation wondering, how did THAT happen?  How didn't they understand what I was trying to say?  What is going on!?!

That happens to me often enough.  But I know I'm not alone and I find solace in that.  I was reading this article that discusses communication styles, the differences between men and women as well as how folks communicate from different cultures and parts of our own country.  Those differences really affect the outcome of a conversation dramatically.

Just as much as anger can get in the way of affectively dealing with a conversation, so can all the other things that affect communication like non-verbal communication*.  And that is really where things can go astray.

According to the very scientific Wikipedia:
*Nonverbal communication is usually understood as the process of communication through sending and receiving wordless messages. i.e., language is not the only source of communication, there are other means also. Messages can be communicated through gestures and touch (Haptic communication), by body language or posture, by facial expression and eye contact. Speech contains nonverbal elements known as paralanguage, including voice quality, rate, pitch, volume, and speaking style, as well as prosodic features such as rhythm, intonation and stress. 

However, much of the study of nonverbal communication has focused on face-to-face interaction, where it can be classified into three principal areas: environmental conditions where communication takes place, the physical characteristics of the communicators, and behaviors of communicators during interaction.^[1]

Who are you really angry at?

Do you ever get angry at someone?  Or maybe frustrated?  I was reading this interesting Harvard Business Review article about communication.  The desired audience is business managers who don't understand their staff.  But the concept is really about  any human interaction we have.

I think we allow ourselves to get the angriest at people we care about the most.  I do, anyway.  When you feel the anger brewing..take a step back and consider the situation from the other person's perspective.  Plus, what good is it going to do to loose your temper, or say something mean spirited?

The littlest thing goes a long way

"Too often we underestimate the power of touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around."
      - Leo Bucaglia

Give more than just what you Give

Dream big.  We are taught to do that as kids.  But as we get older, our pessimism gets in the way as well as our fear.  This gentleman took his own life experiences and created an opportunity for kids around the world.  The opportunity was to provide shoes to kids who don't have them. If fact, a billion people around the world, especially children, don't have shoes.

The best part of the video linked above is when he talks about giving the shoes.  They don't just hand out the shoes. They sit the kids down one by one and lovingly wash their feet and tell them how much they are each loved.  Wow!  That is giving big.  And giving selflessly.  I'm inspired.  Are you?

Don’t you know that God laid down the laws on almsgiving and charity not so much for the sake of the poor as for the sake of those very people who make an offering? St. John Chrysostom

If she can do this...

It's amazing how fearless the most surprising people are out there in the world.  It makes me feel weak when I consider what others are capable of accomplishing with much less than I have.  Please check out this video of a girl who is able to play the piano amazingly well with one hand that doesn't have any fingers.

She "Never never never" gave up!

Baby Steps

Kids are awesome.  I never expected they would bring so much joy to my life.  The first baby I fell in love with was my baby Niece and Goddaughter, Alexa (aka Eeta).  Now she is a lovely 14 year old young lady who is more like my daughter and a friend.  Then there was the adorable Andrew (13yrs aka Buddah), perky Mia (6yrs aka Pip),  joyful Max (2 yrs aka Tank ) and the most gentle happy-go-lucky baby, Melina (6 mos).  I absolutely love my sister's kids so much and don't know what I would do with out the joy they bring to my life.

That being said, I absolutely couldn't anticipate the joy that Lucia brings to my life now.  Lucia is my Bestie Carmel's baby girl.  I knew of Lucia when she was an almost inconceivable idea.  Carmel longed for her and I longed for this baby along with her.  I even prayed for Carmel's wish to come her way.  And amazingly, days after we finished our last grad school project... Carmel broke the news to me about Lucia's pending arrival in 8 more months.  While I was happy about all the other babies, this baby is extra special.  I was ecstatic when she was born :-)

I'm pretty sure there is little more triumphant than watching a babies first steps or babies crawling.  They change and grow so quickly.  As Ferris Bueller said, "Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." 

Check out the adorable Lucia on her first day of crawling.  I was tearing up like a proud Auntie watching it!

Who's too young for wisdom?

Let no one be slow to seek wisdom when he is young nor weary in the search of it when he has grown old. For no age is too early or too late for the health of the soul. And to say that the season for studying philosophy has not yet come, or that it is past and gone, is like saying that the season for happiness is not yet or that it is now no more. Therefore, both old and young alike ought to seek wisdom, the former in order that, as age comes over him, he may be young in good things because of the grace of what has been, and the latter in order that, while he is young, he may at the same time be old, because he has no fear of the things which are to come. So we must exercise ourselves in the things which bring happiness, since, if that be present, we have everything, and, if that be absent, all our actions are directed towards attaining it.- Epicurus


I don't have kids but I have a heap of nieces and nephews.  I love them to pieces.  But every now and again they can do something that is so irritating, I don't know what to do. I'm sure its the same with parents and their kids. You love them, but sometimes, you just need a break.  Consider this:  kids are tiny humans and bring a lot of value to our lives.  They have a great perspective unique to ours.  Keep your ears open and patiently wait for whey they have to say.   Every now and again, you'll be amazed.  

The good stuff

It is so easy to focus on the bad stuff.  Like the people that are mean/rude to you.  The horrible luck you have that leaves you with a flat tire, stuck in traffic, or when you lose a credit card.  Losing a job.  A break up.  Etc. Etc.

Consider this:  if you write down the good stuff that happens, no matter how small, you'll have a record to remind yourself of all you have when the bad stuff happens.  It could be a gratitude journal as I have done.  Or you can expand upon it further like a longer journal entry.
The lovely Gretchen Ruben suggests a "Milestone Journal."  Another great idea.

Animal Love

I'm a dog person.  I love my fella, Duke (see left), and everyone that knows me, knows it.  If you love animals then you will appreciate this video which shows how emotionally connected animals and humans can be.  It also shows us how much love pets can give us that is invaluable and unique.

Appreciate the small things

I never realized how much I used and needed my fridge, until it broke down unexpectedly.   A week ago I came home from being out all day to find wetness in the fridge and a weird smell.  The watery iciness was everywhere.  Uch.  Turns out there was no cold air coming out of the fan, and not only did I loose whatever food I had in the fridge, but I soon realized I had to deal with the prospect of fixing the problem.  Oh, and I had to clean everything up.  What a pain.

After speaking with my handyman, he basically told me that I'd be doing myself a favor by getting a new fridge.  I hadn't planned on the large expense.  I didn't have time to research the best appliance and where to get the best price from.  I didn't have time in my busy week to stay home in the middle of the day to wait for the delivery.  But I had to make the time, and it all got done.  Yesterday my new pretty fridge arrived.  I'd be withholding if I didn't tell you about the nuisance that is the new water line I need to get installed now so the ice maker will work.

BUT- it could have been worse.  And because I was so distracted by work, I didn't have time to be terribly annoyed about my bad luck (note: I don't believe in luck anyway).  Plus, I learned an important lesson about taking for granted every day luxuries like a dependable refrigerator.

Unexpected Kindness

I was at an event this afternoon, and found myself in a strange circumstance. I was having a normal conversation but  the thing that was odd about it was that we were having the conversation in English for my benefit.  The other four people speak another language (Greek) as their first language.  My Greek is laughable and below average at best.  But these three native Greek speaking folks went out of their way to carry on the conversation in English for my benefit.
How kind.  They certainly didn't have to.  It would have been understood if they rattled on speedily in Greek.  Afterward I was realized how generous it was of them to give up the opportunity to speak their native tongue in their second home here in the US.  And they did it for me.  If you guys are reading this, THANKS!

KG Update

Hello readers!  I'm pretty thrilled to know that so many people actually read my blog.  Thank you :-)

I've posted 108 times since I started blogging in December 2010.  And since that time, my readership has grown  far greater than I could have anticipated.  Would you believe that folks have viewed my blog from as far away as Russia, Algeria, Singapore, Brazil, Denmark, United Kingdom, Croatia, Canada, and of course, all over the US?  I can't.  But I'm really happy that the interweb has the magical ability to bring people together from all over the world.

I get excited to share my feelings and experiences with all of you and plan to continue to do so.  Doing this doesn't even feel like work.  It's fun.  I think this must be what folks talk about when they say if you have a profession that you are passionate about, its fun.  I'll have to work on making that happen in my real life.

Oh, and if you want to get an almost daily update from KG's Good Fight, "Follow" me down below on the right.  And send me a comment.  I love those.

Thanks again and happy spring,
KG

Inner Smile

The sincere smile comes from within.  I think it's rare if it comes easily to a person.  But with some effort, the inner smile transmits to the recipients of the heart.

Old school reference:  If you ever watched Ally McBeal, a character, John "the Biscuit" Cage practiced Smile Therapy.  I never forgot about it, and a friend, F, reminded me of it recently after seeing an earlier blog post of mine about positivity.

Sometimes, you have to fake it 'til you make it in life.  And this is an example of one of those times.  If you are feeling crappy and in a bad mood, try to relocate your inner smile to your outside self.  Start smiling to yourself.  Seriously.  Do it a few times for a minute or so.  The same affective result could be achieved by calling a buddy and laughing about nothing/anything.  What happens next?  Your mood will be lighter.  You will be able to smile easier.  Try it!

Art that moves me

I'll never forget the first time that a piece of artwork literally blew my mind.  It was one of the most amazing feelings.  I saw this work and had a physical reaction whereby I felt as though the artwork represented exactly how my emotions felt.  How could some artist who didn't even know me capture me feelings and mood?

Realizing you aren't alone and that your feelings and thoughts have merritt based on the idea that others experience similar emotions as you do, means a lot to a 15 year old.  And I'll never forget it.

Find some artwork, go to a museum and see what happens.  Maybe you'll find yourself moved or inspired.  It's possible!

Something peaceful....

Someone pointed me in the direction of "Nest Cams."  What is it? It's a live camera up in an mama Eagle's nest in Iowa.  You can watch and hear the life unfolding for an Eagle couple who just gave birth (ahem...hatched) three hatchlings.  Adorable.  Hearing them coo and seeing the Daddy Eagle bring home the bacon (read: fish) is exciting and calming.

I don't think I'm the only one watching this who is left with a feeling of peace.  There is typically an average of about 130K other people doing the same thing in the middle of the day.  If I'm on a call at work, I throw up the Eagle fam on my monitor and watch what they are up to.  The Mama is protective and loving, always making sure the babies have something to eat.  At night, she rests with her head bowed low while the babies are snuggled beneath her wings.

Could you find anything that isn't fiction and yet still as sweet?  If you need a little release, watch this for a few minutes.  It's the simple things that nature provides that bring me happiness.

No wonder Bald Eagles were Endangered for so long-their habitats were devastated for centuries.  Good news: as of 2007, they have been downgraded and listed as "Threatened."  Progress!

The math of happiness

So many people ponder the mechanics of happiness.  Even mathematicians.  I was reading this article about Happiness from a scientists perspective and found it compelling.

But I think we're smart enough.  We don't need math to prove to us the benefits of striving to lead a happy and positive life. Right?

Great Teams Exist

The only way to really know what a great team feels like, is to be apart of a really bad team at some point.  I know this from personal experience.

When you are a kid, they teach you that there is no "I" in "TEAM."  We're supposed to work together in order to accomplish a goal.  But as you grow up, you are forced to work in teams that you don't choose to be a part of.  In fact, you may rather work on your own than be a part of a team where you get stuck doing most of the work.

My work week has been particularly challenging.  We're working on a crucial project and the outcome can dramatically affect our future as a company.  In my ten years of working at my firm, this is the first time I can honestly say I feel like I'm a part of a synergistic team-like experience.  It feels great!  We're all still a bit stressed and anxious.  But since everyone is working very hard, I don't feel like I'm in this alone.

I find myself wanting to go the extra distance to be sure that I do as great a job as I can.  Plus, I want to be sure to help out my work buddies with their assignments in any way I can.  And the novel part? Everyone else is doing the same thing.  We were able to complete a massive project in an unbelievably short amount of time because we worked together and made a little extra effort unselfishly.  Now I know we can handle whatever comes next for our growing company.

It's a choice

"We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked from hut to hut comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man, but one thing: the last human freedom – to choose one’s own attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way."  
Viktor Frankl, a Nazi concentration camp survivor

I had a particularly stressful weekend because of my work load.  I was trying to focus on the end game and not worry about the details.  "Stay the course, KG," I told myself.  And then I got home Saturday evening to a broken fridge.  The kind of break that requires you to spend way too much money to replace something you hadn't planned on.  Talk about a bummer.  


I was frustrated and annoyed. Particularly because I simply didn't have the time to worry about resolving the problem.  The good thing was, I made a choice.  I choose not to let that additional burden affect my mood.  I had bigger fish to fry, as my dad likes to say.  


That was my choice.  And it felt good to make it.  Chose your choice.  You have the power to choose the attitude you have.  

Quality Friends

"Associate yourself with people of good quality, for it is better to be alone than in bad company." 
- Booker T. Washington


By the time I got out of college, I thought I had enough great friends.  A small group of folks you can actually count on is all you need, right?  And how would I meet more people anyway?  I was closed off to the prospect that there was more good things up ahead, not to mention more awesome people.  About ten years later, I'm so happy I was wrong.  I was so very very wrong.


I've been blessed enough to make friends of friends.  And I've found friends in Grad School.  And recently, I found friends at Church.  These are quality people I have met that I never could have planned on.


When I was younger, I resisted the prospect that I would ever be friends with anyone I met at church.  It simply wasn't possible.  I was convinced I had nothing in common with anyone I met there.  In hindsight, I think I was scared that church friends wouldn't really like the real me with all my bumps and bruises from the very sinful life I've lived.    


The novel thing is, as soon as I opened myself up to being myself in a place that I was threatened by, the most amazing thing started happening.  Friends in church. And not just the type of friends that are cordial and polite to you when they see you walking by.  Real friends who are really awesome.  


Gotta love being wrong!    


    

No more hope?

When all hope appears to be lost- don't loose faith in the unexpected.  You simply never know what is in store for you. I'm betting this pup couldn't have anticipated salvation three weeks ago.  But he persisted, as the rescuers have.  And now, he's safe.  If a dog can't "fight the good fight", so can you!

Giving Joyfully

If you have ever given something of yours to someone else, you know that it can leave you with a variety of feelings.  It can leave you feeling great.  Joyful.  Proud. Happy.  Fill you up with warmth!  Perhaps it may even leave you feeling a loss.  For instance, if you give your heart and the feeling isn't reciprocated.  It really depends on what you are giving and how you give it.  

The point I want to make is about how you give.  If you give anything with the expectation you will get anything back, you are setting yourself up for failure.  You won't get the recognition you seek.  And giving isn't a competition.  More than likely, you won't be giving in the same circles of Warren Buffett or The Gates.  Give and expect that gesture to be forgotten by everyone, forever.  Period.  

Do it for yourself and with sincere joy and zeal.  And then, watch what happens.  It's almost like magic.  You may not see the results immediately.  It may not be in the way you expect.  But you ALWAYS get back far more than what  you give. I promise. 

Procrastination

I'm a procrastinator and a list-maker.  The tips below are perfect for someone like me. Which is good because I still need help working on my procrastination, even though it's gotten better over the years.  These days, I don't have the time or luxury to avoid my needs, concerns, priorities.  I gotta get things done!  Somehow, these folks are itemizing my approach to procrastination.  Looks like I've been headed in the right direction all along!

Great Tips from people who know things and have degrees: 

1. Procrastinators all have excellent self-deceptive skills. (I agree. See my blog on "Bad Faith.")

2. They need to put this skill to work for them in a subtle way to actually make their procrastination work for them. As Perry puts it, "what could be more noble than using one character flaw to offset the bad effects of another?" (In this case, using self-deception to offset the sins of procrastination.)

3. Given that we each always have a long list of tasks on our to-do lists with various levels of importance, urgency and aversiveness, we need to keep what appears to be an important task at the top of our list (one we also don't want to do) which really isn't that important or urgent (this is the slight self-deception part). Perry argues that this is quite easy. Our lives are full of these tasks. They seem important and appear to have fixed, urgent deadlines, but don't really.

4. With this task at the top of our list that we want to avoid, we will now engage in other tasks instead, because, as Perry notes, "Procrastinators seldom do absolutely nothing; they do marginally useful things, like gardening or sharpening pencils or making a diagram of how they reorganize their files when they get around to it." (Did I say how much like this philosopher? He's funny too.)

5. The consequence of this careful strategizing with our to-do lists, is that in order to avoid that task at the top of our list, we now engage in other worthwhile tasks lower down on our list. Doing these things is the way we avoid doing the top thing, and Perry adds, "the procrastinator can even acquire, as I have, a reputation for getting a lot done."

"Nothing [is] so fatiguing as the eternal hanging on of an uncompleted task."
--William James

Broken Hearted

"The world breaks everyone," Hemingway once wrote, "and afterward many are strong at the broken places." A broken heart is simply a heart that has a chance to become stronger. It's a heart that is more self-sufficient, more open to the truth, and more capable of lasting love.  -Martha Beck



Relationships end.  It's horrible, but true. And every time, its like a fresh wound you just couldn't have anticipated would be so devastating.  


I have a friend whom I love very much.  She is stuck in a place of turmoil and sadness.  She's lost and confused. Her whole world has been thrown upside down because a relationship can't work.  We all know they say it takes two people to make a relationship work.  And while that is valid, I think it's just as important to keep in mind that sometimes, no matter how much two people say they love each other, it is absolutely the right time for a relationship 
to end. 


When the bad things inevitably happen, don't forget that those bad things make room for the new good stuff to take it's place. Don't forget, "what can not be avoided, must be accepted"- any human heart

Vulnerability

I stumbled across someone who intrigues me.  She speaks about researching how important vulnerability is to being great at living wholeheartedly.

We try to push it down and away, because we think it will make us stronger.  But trying to push down the reality of the icky stuff, also pushes away the good stuff.

Be authentic.  It matters.

Why to believe in people

This isn't my idea, but its a good one that keeps you thinking.  It's easy to be so self involved that you aren't able to think about others.

He says if we take man for what he is, we make him worse.  But if we take men for what he should be, we make him capable of becoming what he can be.  This is a hopeful perspective on human nature.

Victor Frankel made this video in 1972.  He was a Holocaust survivor and brilliant.

Never Never Never Give Up!

Winston Churchill said, "Never Never Never give up!"

When times are tough, it's hard to not just give up.  I mean, you deserve to be able to cut yourself some slack, no?  The problem is, when you give up, it get's harder to get the motivation back up to solve whatever problem or situation slowed you down in the first place.  The video is a great example of someone who not only didn't gave up, but was so determined she won the prize.  It was so inspirational, I had goosebumps!