I was with my best girl E driving today, which almost always leads to a meaningful chat. The conversation steered toward forgiveness. She had just read an article in "Oprah" about the health benefits of forgiving others. Life's not fair. Bad things happen. But holding onto a grudge, not forgiving doesn't do you any favors. According to the article, "Not moving on—hanging on to resentment and rage—is tantamount to having an existential tantrum."
How often have you heard the saying, "I'll forgive, but I won't forget?" I think that statement is nonsense, and a cop-out. Every time I hear someone say it, in my mind I'm thinking, "liar." Are you truly forgiving, if you can't (or won't) forget? I don't think so. Because every time you remembered whatever it is that happened, the pain will still be there.
Long term, your best bet may be that the sting will lesson. And perhaps you may be so informed by the incident you treat people better than you were treated. But most people never forget, unless you are able to easily go to your happy place.
